Husband doesn't want me to let my hair go grey when I'm older

[Orestesa]

I am in my 30s. I was commenting to my husband about some aunts, in their late 60s and early 70s, who have gone fully grey. I think their grey hair looks great on them and they look really stylish. They wear colourful clothes that go well with grey.

I told my husband this, and said 'i hope I look like that when I'm older'.

Then he said he doesn't want me to go grey in my 70s and thinks i should dye it. I said he can't stop me. Then he said if I went fully grey, he wouldn't be happy about it.

How many husbands would object to their wife going grey in her 70s?

I went grey at 18 and have been with my Husband since my twenties. I'm in my 40s now. He is one of the least pass remarkable people I've ever met. Never says anything negative about my appearance and always tells me ge thinks I'm beautiful. I've been up and Down in my weight and have gone through periods of looking a bit on the shocking side. He has never batted an eyelid. I have been dyeing my hair for over two decades and decided I wanted to stop.

He said he thinks it's an awful look. I was shocked as he is so complimentary normally, no matter what I look like (I'm not some trophy wife that he doesnt want to go off the boil). As he isn't controlling and generally doesn't criticise my appearance, I tool it on board. The more I thought about it the more I realised that while the grey hair grown out can look nice, it's always very ageing. Having a preference or opinion doesn't make a man contolling until its part of a pattern. If you want to stop dyeing your hair, nobody can stop you, but your husband probably doesn't understand the full scope of growing and changing as a couple.

So have you booked in to have it dyed gray then? I would.

I think you're worrying a bit early

Your husband sounds like a bellend who attaches too much importance to your appearance. Does he make you feel valued as a whole?

He sounds great.

Honestly OP id be more concerned that this shallow AH was going to trade me in for a younger model in a few years time because hes clearly too hung up on looks. Dont be surprised if hes asking for divorce in a few years, probably for the best on your part tbh because I wouldnt want to grow old with someone who is going to judge me for it. Growing old is a privilege a lot of people dont get to experience, and growing old with a life partner should be even more appreciated. Sorry, he sounds like a controlling prick and even though it might seem small to some on here, these comments will all add up and make me question my future with this man

Dyed grey hair looks fucking awful… unless it is done by a skilled professional, and scrupulously maintained. You know the person is grey under the dye and question the mental gymnastics they have gone through to convince themselves that the shit dye is preferable to their natural grey.

Oops! Too late!

Lol, perfect response.

I love the sound of this! Currently wanting my salt and pepper to hurry up and get more salty 😁
Also love your username!👏

Is there anything more revolting than a man thinking he has a say over what his wife or partner does with her body? Rank.

My hair has been red, blue, purple and mermaid (ombré with purple, blue, and teal).

The day my husband told me what to do with my own hair? 🤣🤣🤣

Lucky for both of us, all he wants is for me to do what makes me happy. He’s rocked blue hair a few times too.

I have no plans to let mr hair go grey as but your husband is being a plonker. It's your hair and your choice.

Just tell him that it’s a natural effect of getting older, and that it’s more attractive than ED 🤷‍♀️

On a serious note, have you asked him “why” it bothers him so much? He might surprise you.

Pointless conversation in your 30s. You can’t know how you’ll feel when you’re older . I’m 52 and have some greys underneath my regular blonde foils. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for grey. I have warm skin tones, prefer gold to silver jewellery so being totally vain, grey just isn’t in my colour chart! 😂
DH has about 4 greys at 51 but I don’t mind if he goes grey. He’s said he doesn’t mind if I let mine go grey either. I think I’d go off him if he started asking me to colour it. It’s my choice.

This.

I think it's already too late....

That's rude. I had an ex who tried to tell me how I should look. Tell him to jog on and you embrace whatever hair colour you like. Maybe die it rainbow colour instead.

I'm 38 and already have a fairly chunky streak of grey in the front of my hair - I'm not dyeing it, I dye everything else and keep the grey streak. I love it 😁

It's a privilege to grow old, I think some people forget that.

Mine didn't want me to have short hair. Did it eventually 8 years later - he loved it.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Going grey doesn't happen overnight (usually), your husband will have lots of time adjusting to seeing you with grey hair. Meanwhile, he will grow grey just like you, ór bald, or firtpst grey and then bald. Just stick to your idea and don't mention it again.

If he's like this now, he's not going to suddenly become nicer.
Please think very carefully about whether you need this negativity grinding you down, day by day.

Did you tell him you'll expect him to do the same?