I guess this is more of a rant than anything but I am just feeling so drained and would be grateful for any advice.
My parents (age 72 and 65) are unconscious racist.
I feel like every time I visit them I end up in a bad mood over something one or both of them has said that is discriminative. A few examples below:
Whilst watching the news (about certain crimes, stabbings etc) "I'm not racist but it always seems to be the [race] people"
Forever getting worked up on the topic of immigration/illegal immigrants and zero empathy towards them. Convinced they are taking all benefits.
Making comments how "no one is speaking English" on the train.
Telling a story and using race to describe people but in such a way that is like "the Indian nurse, but she's a lovely lady". Why wouldn't she be?
I call them out on it most of the time but it makes zero difference so sometimes I just ignore them but I can immediately feel myself wanting to leave. They are so ignorant to white privilege and systemic racism that they just get defensive if called out.
My husband's mum is actually foreign and they love her to bits, love telling everyone about her being from said country, and learning about her culture. They are your typical "I'm not racist I have a friend who is black, Indian, etc) but they often make ignorant racial comments.
I know it's a generational thing but I don't think that is an excuse for it. I cringe inside and actually feel anxious when my husband spends time with them as I know they will probably make some kind of comment at some point. They are only getting worse the more time they spend at home now retired, constantly watching the negative news and glued to their phones.
They also live in a very white area that is slowly become more multicultural and they don't like it.
It's such a shame as they are my parents who I love dearly, are kind hearted people but this makes me really dislike them and dislike spending time with them.
Can anyone relate