Did you want a rich man? How did it work out?

[Cakelollipop]

Growing up and still today there’s lyrics in songs about bagging a rich man and it’s still a comment that I hear occasionally.

I’ve always found the idea of a v rich man a turn off I don’t know why.

Did you grow up wanting a v rich man? Did you get one? How did it work out?

To paraphrase Cher, I didn't marry a rich husband, I am a rich husband.

It's not something I ever thought about or aspired to!

But I ended up meeting DH who has a well paid job but not rich. I consider rich to be a millionaire.

His parents however, are rich but that's irrelevant as we have never asked or expected anything from them!

I mean depends on your definition of rich.

I dated a man who earned a lot for someone his age. He then lost his income when we got together.

Fortunately for him, I earned the same as him

Now we are married, and both high earners. So he married a rich woman and I married a rich man

I met my OH at work and then began a relationship. I then found out him and his family are very rich !! But they’re the most down to earth people I’ve ever met and so very loving. That to me is priceless

Is he working for himself?

I’ve had 2v rich boyfriends but I’m not motivated by money, I was looking for someone funny who was a nice person. None of them had both.

I married someone who was broadly seen as a joke, I always found him hugely entertaining and endearing. He is now very rich and still makes me laugh every single day.

Well my first ever vinyl single was Material Girl - does that answer your question? 🤣

It never occurred to me to want someone rich; I think if anything I wanted to be earning the money, because I'd seen how vulnerable my mum was, in a relationship where my dad was the only breadwinner. Looking back, I do wish I'd questioned my kneejerk reactions a bit more, because that frame of mind left me open to people who'd take advantage.

@Sandia1 to protect assets

I married the boyfriend Ihad at 19 when he was working at McDonald's. I worked FT (still do) and supported him to do a qualification and he has done very very well for himself with that and because he's got the gift of the gab. Unfortunately the more he earned the more it went to his head. He wanted to be Charlie big potatoes at home as well as he was by then at work, had a little affair for an ego boost as I didn't revere him enough clearly, then another big affair and we got divorced. So the wealth didn't end well for us-he was much nicer when he was poorer and didn't believe his own hype.

My now dh earns similarly to him but he was also divorced before we met and his ex wife ended with a huge amount of equity from their house and he pays her way over and above the child maintenance rate-fair enough-and we have four kids between us so it doesn't go that far! We are happy however probably because he came to me already formed and so his position at work was already part of his personality I suppose. I didn't know he earned a lot when I met him, we met in a supermarket aisle. I just thought he looked fit and we got to chatting, then he asked me for my number in the car park .

They are genuinely a turn off for me.

I enjoy being self-sufficient and simply cannot fathom becoming financially dependent on another person.

Agree with PP, the vast majority of rich men marry rich women. Even the moderately rich marry within their socio-economic group these days. It’s one the ways that social mobility has diminished in this country - the successful male lawyer is more likely to be married to another lawyer than to his assistant.

Agree with PP, the vast majority of rich men marry rich women. Even the moderately rich marry within their socio-economic group these days. It’s one the ways that social mobility has diminished in this country - the successful male lawyer is more likely to be married to another lawyer than to his assistant

I have found the opposite of this to be true.

That’s interesting, maybe it varies by geography/generation. I live in London and am a millennial.

What I see, almost without exception, is middle class professionals marrying other middle class professionals. They often meet at university, on graduate training programmes, on gap years, ski seasons and the like, or on dating apps where they consciously or subconsciously filter for middle class hobbies, jobs and pursuits.

I worked professionally with the super rich for a while - they mostly married each other within their own social set / age range. That’s why there’s such a furore around footballers they are wealthy men who will marry working class women - traditional rich men won’t.

Lower down the scale lawyers marry other lawyers doctors other doctors. Please note the above are anecdotal generalisations but pretty much hold true.

What do you consider rich to be?

IKEA tsujig. I have purchased 8 in the last three years. I love them. They can be stacked with use of the stacking hardware. Couldn’t find sturdy shoe racks anywhere and these are great. Not too difficult to assemble . Often sold out so they are popular.

@Cakelollipop I'm definitely not moving in with a man again, I have got own my house, car, pension, savings, DC, there's no need for me to live with a man...I just want to meet a nice one for companionship who doesn't expect to ride on my coat tails, and won't be jealous of everything I have, meaning he need to earn a very decent amount so he is secure in himself.

I'm really glad I grew up in the 90s. We had the Spice Girls, Buffy, girl power. We even had Jet from Gladiators 😅 Thankfully I did not grow up wanting any man - rich or not.

The wife may be from the same wealthy social circles, but the mistresses are from all over the social hierarchy.

I married for love and ideologically didn't really like full on materialism or chasing wealth at that age and wanted to "help people" at work.

I'd love my daughters to bear money in mind..... both who they meet and for careers. I guess socially we've dropped a stage or two though so maybe they won't meet someone in the higher brackets 🙄.

It never occurred to me growing up that I could marry a rich man, I didn't really move in those circles and didn't know how to conduct myself around people like that.
I met DH through a shared hobby and although I knew he had a good job, I didn't think he was rich (he works in software, so not a stereotypically rich profession like banking or law). I was on a low income when we met (he earned about 8 times my income). We married for love and I only realised much later how well off he was (but all through salary/stock investments, not family money).

We aren't super rich but we live in a large central London house, 2 dcs at private school, regular overseas holidays etc. The financial security has given me enough confidence to take risks with my own income and I've been able to grow it significantly so I'm now contributing an equal amount to family finances. So it has al worked out well. Our relationship and family life is great, money is all shared and we play an equal part in parenting.

All I wanted was to love and be loved and I am very happily and with 4 kids. The fact we are comfortable just an added plus

I never grew up wanting a rich man as I was raised in a low income environment and had limited understanding of the upper class and the rich. Social media wasn't around back then like it is now so I wasn't exposed to that kind of life. It was only what you saw in the movies or on television.

However, I inadvertently married into a very wealthy family and as he was estranged from them and they are from Scotland, I didn't know that about my DH at all when we met while I was on holiday in Las Vegas. He was shit at gambling and losing money so he didn't seem rich to me. I honestly thought he was there for a stag weekend or something.

He loathes his parents, which is unfortunate because it affects the children and they don't get to see family often. DH was 17 when he moved out of their family home because of his stepmother's abuse and his father removed the plates off his car saying he'd be back. Well he never came back nor lived there ever again. He doesn't want anything from them at all. DH's grandfather left him a trust fund before we got married and he could have lived comfortably on just that if he wanted to but he prefers to have a career earning his own money. When I met them for the first time I could see why, his father is so controlling, manipulative and constantly tries to interfere in our marriage and how we raise the children. He's a misogynistic bully and actually told me I was his favourite daughter in law because I was the only one who gave him grandsons as if that was a compliment. His sisters love to create drama and one is an unapologetic racist. All of his brothers are on their second marriages.

Did you want a rich man? Yes
How did it work out? Badly. I didn't get one.