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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How to deal with dismissive and rude teacher (private school)

81 replies

Thefirstime · 10/01/2024 23:41

Struggling with how dismissive and almost rude my child’s teacher is.. he’s only been there one term.. he seemed happy (ish) last term but very unhappy first day back.. I emailed to see her as I’m not too happy..

at the end of the day, she brings the children out and has brief chat with parents- totally walks off or sends my child out alone.. She. Says bye to my son but doesn’t engage or interact with me in the slightest.. terrible communication between us and I honestly don’t know what has happened..

im due to meet her and diplomatically probe this.. we have 15mins..

how can I best go about this??

any advice??

I don’t want to be all guns blazing but I’m unhappy and we’re paying a small fortune..

OP posts:
SprogTakesAQuarry · 12/01/2024 18:25

znakajw · 11/01/2024 00:24

OP. "Hi Miss X thank you for making time to see me so quickly, I'm dumbfounded as to why my son is being bullied by you, an adult. I've brought this person as my witness."

TEACHER. "Oh my goodness I'm horrified you think this is the case, what have I done?"

OP. "You said bye to my son and sent him over to me at collection time but you didn't speak to me about how his day was when I've seen you speaking to other parents. He hasn't been happy lately and I'm concerned about him."

TEACHER "I'm so sorry to hear he is unhappy, I'll make sure I come and speak to you after school in future to have a quick catch up about his day. But I'm still a bit confused how is it you feel I'm am bullying him?"

OP "Actually I have no idea, nothing you have done has indicated you are bullying my child, a person on Mumsnet projected her own personal and individual experience onto my very different situation and suggested I should behave in this way"

🤪

Show quote history

Yes! Love this ⬆️

SprogTakesAQuarry · 12/01/2024 18:38

Flamango · 12/01/2024 11:35

You’ve worded it well yourself here
“Can we speak to each other really frankly? I notice you interact really positively with other parents at the end of the day but that seems missing between us - it’s making me feel a bit awkward and upset to be honest!” Silence/tail off and let her respond?

But that would make OP look so mental 🤷‍♂️

SprogTakesAQuarry · 12/01/2024 18:44

@Meadowy I think teacher emailing is probably quite clever. If OP comes across in RL like she has on this thread, then teacher creating a paper trail is smart act of self protection.

@Thefirstime just to echo another poster, how many times have you emailed the teacher ?

Meadowy · 12/01/2024 18:59

Well, yes, Sprog - but not in the way OP meant it!!

gemma19846 · 12/01/2024 19:32

Flamango · Today 11:35

You’ve worded it well yourself here
“Can we speak to each other really frankly? I notice you interact really positively with other parents at the end of the day but that seems missing between us - it’s making me feel a bit awkward and upset to be honest!” Silence/tail off and let her respond?

This is absolutely nuts! The poor teacher will have no idea what crazy parent is on about

BlueHops · 16/01/2024 16:34

The headmaster at my kids school would do his best not to have eye contact with me every time we met at school during drop off or pick up. Hard to ignore him as he stands at the exit / entry gate.
even when i say good morning, he would reply but pretends to look somewhere else - every time without fail! i was initially annoyed but then realised - who cares! so long as my kids are treated well, doing well, wins awards, have good friends, have great class teachers, and they enjoy the school, that's all that matters.
I still say good mornings - always good to be polite, but care not about his responses (or lack of it). Its much easier on the heart to take this position. You can control yourself but not the action of others, so do what you can to make yourself better.

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