Does anyone have experience dating/marrying someone who smokes weed?

[sophiebrooks123]

Hello fellow MNers. I know people will have strong views on this but ideally I am looking for experienced answers from women/(even men) who have dated or married someone who regularly smokes weed.

With it becoming legal in some states in the USA now, you can only wonder if it will eventually treacle down to Europe. I have friends who out right would never like there partner to smoke daily, I have other friends who have no issue with there husband smoking nightly before bed. My question to you is

1. Have you noticed it negatively effect your partners mood/your relationship (eg snappy when hasn't smoked, or completely fine without the weed and uses it more as a relaxant, like you would a wine before bed)
2. Have you noticed it have any negative affect on raising children (eg more tired, grumpy without weed, no patience with children unless high)
3. Have you noticed your partner more concerned about being around friends TO smoke weed, eg forced you/your partner to constantly see friends so he doesn't smoke alone And any other experience you may want to share/recommend!

No its not, people who supply the users of dope are criminals, they will be involved in a wide range of money making activities inc robbery & class A drugs which will then involve a whole range of crimes, going back into many different countries.

Aside, everyone i know who smokes dope all the time (not the occasional user) is usually a waste of space, they don't work, suffer from self inflicted MH illnesses and are incredibly lazy, the cannabis of today is far stronger than the stuff of 30 or 40 years ago.

@Kazzyhoward I would agree but what about all the people who grow for their own personal use? Everyone who I know that smokes weed grows it themselves. It's not very difficult to do. My nice 60something year old neighbour has some lovely 'tomatoes' in his green house which my opposite 60 year old neighbour always compliments him on, with a twinkle in her eye.
I think it depends on the person and that it's quite a misunderstood plant. Also I do agree that where it comes from matters. Hence I would argue it shouldn't be illegal which is the real problem.

I'm not at all prudish about drugs but I don't think I'd be with someone who smokes weed every single day. Occasional use is fine. I grew up with a parent who smoked it every day and I just don't like the way it makes people so lethargic and dopey. It also made my parent quite paranoid. I've known quite a few stoners throughout my life and the thing they have in common is they just sort of sit around and do nothing for hours in end. I'm not in to that!
Someone using it now and then is completely different and fine with me.

I think it’s actually probably more the tobacco smoking than anything.

Long term it’s affected intimacy as I can’t bear the smell on him/his breath. This was less of an issue when early on in a relationship (well was for me) and has got harder now I’m post meno and I guess less tolerant. The costs don’t just extend to the cost of tobacco & weed but long term users often have dental problems so that costs. Life insurance is higher with a smoker and with weed (as it’s illegal) invalidates it. I didn’t think about these things in my 20s but also thought he’d eventually give up. It’s just made life a little bit harder. He has tried to give up tobacco a few times and does get irritable. I haven’t noticed that so much with the weed when he’s gone periods without it.

Hi, I think there is a big difference between occasional and regular smoking here. As an adult child of regular (started weekends and ended up being most eves) weed smoking parents here who were good parents and who I love very much. However I wouldn't want it for my own relationship and family and I'd say get out while you can personally.

My mum gave up years ago but it caused major problems in their relationship. The social scene they were in revolved very much around it and her wanting to do a mix of things was very much seen as a threat to the smoking and their "lifestyle".

The mental health impacts have been apparent but very gradual so hard to tell in one go. My dad was fine for my childhood but in recent years the paranoia has set in and he's really only able to interact in a nice way if he's had a smoke. It's really sad to see.

I smoke weed a tiny bit
and I prefer edibles for a mild buzz

but i micro consume versus get really stoned

prefer to it to alcohol and yes it’s a crutch but …

so providing a view that moderate consumption isn’t a deal breaker for me

i also have no ethical issues with my personal supply chain

Yup. Apart from the smell I prefer the effects on him from that (quiet and straight to sleep) than alcohol (lairy and bolshy). Also he snores less with it than booze. I prefer a prescription sleep aid myself but I think my choice is the more addictive / troublesome.

This. ^ Not in a million years would I date a man who smokes weed. Not even ciggies! I would not even be friends with someone who smokes weed. I would question their intelligence. Also, it stinks absolutely vile. Neighbour across the road smokes it every weekend, and when the wind is blowing our way, the stench comes into our garden. VILE.

No

I have standards

Same experience with my partner. Smokes daily, in a black mood until he has had some. No interest in doing family things, hides away in his office as much as possible. Didn’t have a holiday for years as he prioritised spending in his weed and takeaway habit. When we do go in holiday he is moody as fuck because he is not in his usual weed smoking routine. He is in complete denial about the affect this is having on his mental, physical and family life, his moodiness and his addiction. If I had outside support and monetary resources I would leave (though I would worry about how the kids would suffer during his time with them if I was not here). Obviously I have a lot of resentment towards him because of the way the weed has affected all aspects of our life. He also resents me for basically asking/making him have any responsibilities outside of his paid employment and, hobbies and/or smoking weed. It is like he just hasn’t mentally grown since he started smoking weed at 19. It’s like some sort of preserver of mental immaturity? I find him completely unfuckable of course.

This!
My partner smokes every day.
I don't see it as any different to mums who "must" have a glass of whine every night.

We're both anti-alcohol and drink absolutely 0 because we both had alcoholic abusive parents.
I'll take weed smokers over alcohol drinkers ANY day.
But like PP have said, it will depend on the person.

Weed smokers are uttervbores. Going on about how it mellows them out (who cares?) is good for their appetite (I don’t care). Any woman dating or married to a weedhead, especially a skunk-smoking one, you are not seeing his real personality no matter what you may kid yourself believing. Take away his spliff for 3 days, thats when you'll see who he really is.

Most weed smokers I know say some really out there, paranoid shit at times. Stink of weed, as if it's embedded into their hair and pores. Esoecially if theyve been smoking for years, even their clothes stink of weed. They never seem to realise or admit they stink tho. Or that they chat nonsense. Im ok with weed really as long as it's not in my home, or someone wants to stand talking with me whilst smoking. I dont smoke weed and dont want to smell as if I do.

Yes I have been reading it emotionally stunts growth. Same as my partner been smoking since he was about 17. Like his dad. Very concerned about bringing kids into the mix.

It's so interesting peoples perspective! My DH smokes the very occasional joint, never stoned when in charge of the kids, never paranoid or grumpy if he doesn't have any weed.

Whereas would never ever ever be with a man who likes a drink, cannot stand drunk people, don't drink myself, DH had the occasional gin of an evening but never gets drunks. Even though it's legal I think alcohol does so much damage!!

Like any drug (alcohol, tobacco included), I would only be concerned if the person appeared to be dependent or addicted.

My ex was a chronic smoker and it was terrible for our relationship. But he also had untreated serious MH problems and that really was the issue. I think it's perfectly possible to use cannabis recreationally like any other drug or alcohol where it's only a bit of fun or relaxation. The problem is when people use it to avoid addressing the problems in their lives in a healthy way. I also think with cannabis there's a particularly persistent subculture of users who think it is a wonder drug and medicinal so they don't need any other treatment or support.

I wouldn't touch a druggie with a barge pole

Drugs feed criminality and knife crime 🙄

I've never smoked weed but I live in a European country where it is decriminalized and many of my friends and family smoke. Some regularly many times a day and others much more occasionally.

I've not noticed any negative behaviours or poor parenting

My friends are in the large professional people with high level careers and they are doing well at them.

I love the smell too so nothing negative from me

In my country its decriminalised. The government monitor the grow and distribution points. Its also taxed and legally employs staff to grow harvest and sell

My boyfriend through my twenties was a regular user. He's much older now, and still using. I have no contact with him but it seems to have had a very negative effect on his life, from what I've heard. He didn't achieve anything after his 30s. Despite being highly intelligent, educated, and an achiever before then.

My ex did. I knew him before he was a smoker and was a decent person. He then started dealing in our late teens. Then a family member got him hooked on it. Then a life circumstance turned weed into a coping mechanism but I think it didn’t work with his personality.

He was calm after a smoke and less “erratic” but when he hadn’t had a smoke he was paranoid and we argued every single week - and it would be for very dumb reasons and him thinking I thought I was better than him (eventually he ended up out of work for very long periods of time - I can’t say the weed did that but his personality being erratic may have played a role) and we had a child by then so I pushed myself up the career ladder.

He was a very good dad at the beginning - he seemed to let his frustrations out on me (verbally) as opposed to our child. Now he is absent and I haven’t seen him in years - tThe last conversation we had was a paranoid rant about me not understanding him (once again).

Im not a smoker so I’d never date one. I’d never date anyone that smokes weed based on that experience.

I think recreational use is fine. The problem is only when it becomes regular heavy use. Same as alcohol.

Exactly what @DeeCeeCherry said

I could’ve written your post.
My DH also has the occasional smoke, and is the best husband and father I could’ve picked. He’s gentle, loving, supportive and my soul mate.
He doesn’t drink or smoke and has no weird friends. He holds down a good job and on occasion i join him for a smoke. Usually on holidays, concerts or if the children are away.
I also could not be with someone who drank alcohol, particularly one who drinks around children and/or gets drunk. All it is is a legal high. And an incredibly destructive one at that.
I under what posters are saying about potentially funding the drug trade but as humans there are so many awful things we fund via our lifestyles. Sadly. The devastation caused by mining for materials for our phones, mining for metals and other materials for our cars, food which is traded unfairly in third world countries, cheap clothing from SO many of our online and high street shops which is made by children in a sweat shop 😞 the list goes on and on.