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Original poster

Caught DH looking at sister in law

89 replies

Star1104 · 04/01/2024 03:20

my sister in law is a absolutely gorgous she is my husbands brothers
wife. I got into my car yesterday after shopping and my husband was looking at a picture of me and her, he quickly side glanced and zoomed into my face and said aww. That moment really deflated me as I knew he was looking at her. I don’t see the point of Confronting him, I just think he has a secret crush on her as
she is so stunning.

would anyone feel same as me?

OP posts:

Tourmalines · 04/01/2024 03:34

I think you are a bit insecure .

Flowersbutpain · 04/01/2024 03:39

Has he done anything else to make you suspicious that he has a crush on her?

misssunshine4040 · 04/01/2024 03:43

What makes you so sure he wasn't just looking at you in the picture?
You are picking up on your insecurities because she is so attractive.

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 04/01/2024 03:47

The man’s not blind, but remember he’s with you not her.
Explain why it matters who he looks at?

chillin12 · 04/01/2024 03:49

Aww, bless you. I understand you find SIL stunning, but it doesn’t mean your husband does too. Even if she is objectively pretty, it still doesn’t mean your husband is at all attracted to her. If nothing else has happened to suggest he fancies her, I’d recommend you work on your self-confidence, as difficult as that is. And hopefully, your husband assures you of your beauty, too. It’s easy to feel insecure while being around other beautiful women, especially if you’re struggling with confidence. But I read a quote once that goes, “another person’s beauty is not the absence of your own.” Unfortunately, our society can make that difficult, but do try.

Ohnoooooooo · 04/01/2024 04:12

I am a hetrosexual female and I would study a beautiful - woman both to admire them but also to work out what makes them so beautiful! If you had of said he stares at her all the time, giggles around her etc etc - signs he has a crush - but looking at her photo? That's normal to me.

BayCityCoaster · 04/01/2024 04:19

Looking at someone does not equal having a crush on them!

I notice and look (not gawp!) at attractive people when I see them, it’s perfectly normal.

We were at the beach the other day and this woman with one of the most enviable figures I’ve seen in a long time walked down to the water. I looked at her, and DH would have had to have been super-human not to notice and look at her, too.

It doesn’t mean anything!

I really wouldn’t worry - he’s chosen and married to you.

Tanana12 · 04/01/2024 07:38

My brother in laws wife is ABSOLUTELY stunning as well, my husband has made a couple of remarks about her being so beautiful. It can kinda dent your self esteem when you compare yourself so try you best not too.

Westernesse · 04/01/2024 08:02

And they say men have big egos.

Newchapterbeckons · 04/01/2024 08:07

…….

Coconutter24 · 04/01/2024 08:11

He was looking at a picture of you both. Any other reason to think he has a crush on her? That just sounds like he was looking at a picture

margotrose · 04/01/2024 08:21

Isn't he allowed to find other people attractive?

Squidlette · 04/01/2024 08:31

I look at loads of men. I occasionally work with a bloody gorgeous one. I assume dh looks too. As long as dh isn't pointing at women and saying 'why aren't you like her?' It's not an issue. Equally, middle aged dh is never again going to look like the 30yr old colleague.

Flirting is slightly different, but again, but dh and I have always been flirts. Doesn't mean anything.

Squidlette · 04/01/2024 08:32

My friend's gf doesn't like him looking at other women, or talking to them. She only just allows him to talk to married ones. He has a wide and varied social life, she doesn't. It's not a happy relationship.

Snowdogsmitten · 04/01/2024 08:33

I mean, he probably does. But that means nothing. I think you’re insecure, which doesn’t feel very nice, but is something you should work on.

Lobelia123 · 04/01/2024 08:49

Hugs OP, no matter how lovely, kind or friendly your SIL may be it must sting to know she is objectively beautiful and most men, your DH included, will be a little dazzled by her looks. If it helps, it doesnt mean he loves you any less, or that she would be remotely interested (she fell in love and chose someone from having probably quite a wide choice after all) or that he wouldnt run a mile in sheer panic if she were to return his admiration!!! Im surrounded by beautiful women in our family, again what helps me is to realise, this earthly shell is in fact just a form that we walk around in; and its amazing how whats inside starts to affect how you see the outer beauty, the more you get to know the person. And to be crude, even the most beautiful of them still shits, sweats, burps and has bad breath on occasion :)

ironedcurtain · 04/01/2024 09:00

I'm a straight woman, and even I stare extra long (non creepily - hopefully!) at beautiful woman!

PaperDoIIs · 04/01/2024 09:02

First of all , you're projecting your opinion of her (stunning,gorgeous) on others like DH and assume they feel just like you and can't possibly not have a crush on her.

Secondly, men, women, married,single,widowed etc still look and find other people attractive. It's normal, it happens, it's not a reflection on their true feelings or a reflection on your looks.

Doggymummar · 04/01/2024 09:02

Why does it matter? Do you not find other men attractive? Weird to feel threatened

NeedToStopEatingCake · 04/01/2024 09:07

Your SIL is good-looking. Your husband knows she is. So what?

fromhellsheartistabatthee · 04/01/2024 09:18

You can't blame a man just for looking.

RoachFish · 04/01/2024 09:50

No need to confront him at all, it's very natural to look at beautiful people or things. I find it's pleasing to the eye to look at someone who is attractive in the same way it's pleasing to look at a beautiful fabric or view. Doesn't mean I have a crush on the person or the fabric.

Daniagainagainagain · 04/01/2024 09:52

What on earth would there be to confront him about anyway?

pictoosh · 04/01/2024 09:54

He is allowed to think she is beautiful. He is even allowed to look at her.
Stop this train of thought, it is incredibly controlling.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/01/2024 10:03

Confront him about what? The fact he has eyes and can see? You are making your insecurities his problem.

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