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Original poster

Caught DH looking at sister in law

89 replies

Star1104 · 04/01/2024 03:20

my sister in law is a absolutely gorgous she is my husbands brothers
wife. I got into my car yesterday after shopping and my husband was looking at a picture of me and her, he quickly side glanced and zoomed into my face and said aww. That moment really deflated me as I knew he was looking at her. I don’t see the point of Confronting him, I just think he has a secret crush on her as
she is so stunning.

would anyone feel same as me?

OP posts:

Possiblynotever · 05/01/2024 03:39

My SIL is gorgeous. She is a supermodel, has appeared on hundreds of magazines and sites and was on television. She is truly stunning, and my husband does look at her pictures and her stories on social media and he is in awe. So do I.
Does he have a crush on her? No, I do not think so, or, if he has, so do I. It is very difficult to stop looking at her.
She is just genetically modified, and she looks wonderful all the time.

Calliopespa · 05/01/2024 04:02

fluffygardenrugs · 04/01/2024 19:08

Always just a tad suspicious of threads like these...

Why?

ZsaZsaTheCat · 05/01/2024 04:02

Calliopespa · 04/01/2024 23:17

OP I can understand it wasn’t your favourite part of the day and everyone gets a bit piqued at some level if they think their SO finds someone else sexually attractive. That’s a natural biological insecurity. Our survival instinct doesn’t want to be “left” by people we might procreate with because for our cave person selves that would be a problem. Ignore the comments about the problem being yours, as though you are somehow uniquely insecure. I suspect you are just more honest or in tune with those impulses.

That said, we aren’t living in a cave anymore and how you handle that pique is the relevant bit. He may not actually even have been thinking that she was attractive, but even if he was, you can’t police his thoughts or attractions and he hasn’t done anything that overstepped any lines. He’s allowed to look, he’s allowed to think positive things and in fairness he did his best to try to shield you from feeling miffed. I can’t really see what you would say if you confronted him anyway. If it’s upsetting you to think he finds her attractive, getting him to admit it isn’t going to help. I think it’s just a “move on” situation. In reality if we all knew what everyone around us was really thinking we’d probably be horrified.

What an intelligent response -I love the psychology behind how humans behave, it really helps make sense of life.
If it helps. I have been in a long term relationship for 40 yrs now and we addressed the ‘other person thing ‘ early on, recognising that from time to time either of us would find someone else attractive. I think you have to be respectful about it. In the end we settled on one look was ok, mooning over someone, comparisons or endless mentions were NOT gonna be appreciated. Worked so far.

Kimmeridge · 05/01/2024 04:07

Calliopespa · 05/01/2024 04:02

Why?

Show quote history

Probably because this site is always being trolled. Posting a strange or controversial OP then disappearing is definitely a troll trait

Calliopespa · 05/01/2024 04:09

Kimmeridge · 05/01/2024 04:07

Probably because this site is always being trolled. Posting a strange or controversial OP then disappearing is definitely a troll trait

Show quote history

Yeah. But in this case she didn’t get much support. And I’m not sure it was so controversial was it?

Kimmeridge · 05/01/2024 04:12

No it falls more into the strange category I'd say 😂

JanglingJack · 05/01/2024 04:19

I'm sure that her being his brother's wife that he's probably had ample opportunity to snap a photo of her alone so he could look at it.

He hasn't, he was looking at a picture of you both probably thinking it's lovely that the two of you get on.

I'm not dismissing your feelings because I know this is very painful for you. Do you think you work on your self esteem? Tell your husband how you feel without accusing him? It's something that needs to be addressed within you, otherwise you will never feel relaxed and happy. If it's not SIL it will be someone else.

JanglingJack · 05/01/2024 04:37

I've just had to Google Gal Gadot! Having never watched any Marvel or the other one movies, I thought it was the name of a baddie character 🤣

She is very beautiful.

Wondering2341 · 05/01/2024 10:35

Yeah he might fancy her but there loads of attractive women, he might also fancy the woman on his commute or that work colleague or mum at kids activities. He's allowed to fantasise. You will never find a man who doesn't look at beautiful women so get over it. It's only a problem if he crossed the line of merely window shopping.

Wondering2341 · 05/01/2024 11:54

It's also not the same lusting after a hollywood celeb you'll likely never meet or ever have them interested in little old you even if you did meet, versus an actual, potentially tangible person that you see in real life and interact with.

harerunner · 05/01/2024 12:03

Aquamarine1029 · 04/01/2024 10:03

Confront him about what? The fact he has eyes and can see? You are making your insecurities his problem.

Indeed, if you start confronting him about a complete non-issue like this, it will be completely counterproductive, and only harm your relationship and make it more likely that he'll start fantasising about other women such as your SIL!

harerunner · 05/01/2024 12:08

JanglingJack · 05/01/2024 04:37

I've just had to Google Gal Gadot! Having never watched any Marvel or the other one movies, I thought it was the name of a baddie character 🤣

She is very beautiful.

She's pretty for sure, but no more so than many other women.

Astrid15 · 05/01/2024 15:13

I totally understand. Speaking for myself I have low self esteem, but never was bothered by other women's attractiveness till I got with my current partner, won't go into details but I don't have much confidence anymore. Ask yourself if this comes from you or the relationship. He's got eyes in his head, he will notice and look at people, you may yourself but never wish to swap them for your husband in a million years, so that of itself means nothing, but if your confidence is being undermined that is a deeper issue.

Burntouted · 05/01/2024 15:25

Op. For clarity....

Soo despite your own insecurities...You were out shopping, partner was waiting in the car.. Before or after you get in you saw him looking or staring at a picture that included you and her..but you assume or know that he was looking only at her in the picture..because he saw you looking out the side of his eye, and quickly zoomed in on your face and gave a fake response. You are also aware or assume that he has a crush on her.

As far as you know it's a one sided crush, or do you feel or know both are being inappropriate.

Is this correct?

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