Caught DH looking at sister in law

[Star1104]

my sister in law is a absolutely gorgous she is my husbands brothers
wife. I got into my car yesterday after shopping and my husband was looking at a picture of me and her, he quickly side glanced and zoomed into my face and said aww. That moment really deflated me as I knew he was looking at her. I don’t see the point of Confronting him, I just think he has a secret crush on her as
she is so stunning.

would anyone feel same as me?

Honestly when someone loves you they can admire beauty but it doesn't mean they WANT that person. I see good looking guys all the time but in my eyes my partner is the best because I love him. I'm confident he feels the same. We both look at good looking people. But I'd never LEAVE him and I certainly don't get crushes.

I’m sorry but I have to ask why would you discredit what the OP is saying.
She said that she knew he was looking at her?
A lot of people on this thread are so unsupportive! I’m surprised, this lady is being vulnerable with how she feels about this issue. Some people are really insensitive!

People look at good looking people. It's a thing. If he'd zoomed in on her tits, then you should worry. But he had a natural reaction then checked himself. I wouldn't give it another thought, nor term it as 'caught' like you're policing him.

Is there a back story maybe and you just picked the wrong thing to write, as. I’m sure you know looking at a pic doesn’t mean you have a crush.

are you jealous and insecure round her? Is that what it is? An insecurity or low self esteem, maybe jealousy thing?

I’m sorry you have lost me. Why is he not allowed to look at her? Why does looking at someone indicate you’ve a crush, as I’m fucked then, due to my social media accounts, I clearly have a crush on hundreds.

You can't prevent him from looking, assuming that is all he does. You can work on your insecurity.

I’ve got a beautiful friend and she is fascinating to look at. People turn their heads wherever she goes and when you’re chatting to her, you can’t get over how lovely she is to look at. I think it’s normal as long as he is not ogling her or saying anything inappropriate.

Lol. You can't jump to conclusions like that.

The fact where he’s clearly ogling photos of her where the op can clearly catch what he’s doing. I don’t get why the op is getting a hard time here. It’s different when it’s a relative or close friend or someone that you have to see and interact with, knowing that your partner fancies the fuck out of them

Ogling. 😂 yes, take what the op said, blow it up and try to get it to match your view. That always works.

Nothing in the OP actually supports what saying here.

The OP’s husband was looking at a photograph with the OP and her SIL in it. He looked at her, and zoomed in to her face and said ‘aw’.

The OP has decided that he was looking with longing at his SIL because she’s so beautiful he must fancy her and he was trying to cover his tracks.

That says lots about the OP’s insecurities and absolutely nothing about her husband at all.

This has reminded me of something my FIL said to my MIL on their honeymoon. A gorgeous lady in very short shorts was on the beach and he pointed at her and said “darling, those are the legs you’d need to wear shorts like that, not yours”.

50 years later she still mentions it all the time.

I'm going to be blunt but you're being ridiculous. You can't control who he looks at. If she really is stunning then yes he'll probably have a quick look now and again and might fancy her a bit. It's just human nature. If I had a brother in law who looked like Tom Hardy, I'd have a cheeky glance occasionally. What matters is he's with you, he loves you and he's not pursuing her (I assume).

It was a picture of both of you, I guess on his phone? How could you even tell who he was looking at?

He probably does think she’s stunning, which is hardly a crime given you do as well! I think it’s just such a reach to assume he must be harbouring a secret all-consuming crush on her based on the fact he looked at a photo of her (and of you!!) once. Wtf would you even say in your confrontation?! ‘I saw you look at a perfectly normal, innocent photo and now I’m angry!’

Maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t think she’s stunning.

The OP does and feels insecure and inferior to her SIL. That doesn’t mean that her husband shares that view.

There is no way to know what he was thinking when looking at a photo of the two of them. He might have been thinking how much he loves his wife’s smile. He might have been thinking about what was happening when the photo was taken. He might even have been looking at the SIL and thinking ‘she’s really high maintenance and hard work’.

We don’t know. And neither does the OP. She’s just decided that he must have a secret crush on his brother’s wife and be disappointed in her.

I don’t know why anyone would want to give the OP any advice other than to stop being so silly and that she should work on her insecurities.

She should definitely not ‘confront‘ her husband with jealous accusations that he fancies the SIL.

For all you know she might not be to his taste at all, people fancy all sorts of different people and he may well have a crush on someone you don't think is attractive yet he may not have even noticed her.
Not everyone finds the same person good looking, sometimes my son will say something about someone he likes the look of and I look up and see someone I don't consider unattractive at all.
other times I've seen someone I thought attractive and he's said eew no too this or something.

Confront him?? For having eyes and an appreciation of beauty??

Look around you, op, there are gorgeous blokes out there. Enjoy looking at them.

Don't let insecurity and jealousy eat away at you as it will destroy you and your relationship.

Even if he was looking at the SIL, so what? You can’t stop people from looking at others.
Would you really expect your partner to never notice other women?

My brother in law is absolutely gorgeous. Charming personality, climbs mountains, real life action man.

Do I fancy him? I actually don't. I used to think I should, due to all the above, but I really don't. We all holiday together, and enjoy spending time together but have no interest on a sexual level or anything even remotely intimate.

Looking at a photo means nothing and if you feel insecure perhaps you need a bit of help with your self esteem

Ogling? Oh the drama. He was looking at a picture. Looking.

Lol I feel sorry for your partner or spouse

Unsupportive?

What do you want people to say?

Blindly agree with the OP? Say yes, he has a crush on her? Yes, she should confront him?

How is it supportive to tell the OP he has a crush on this women? Please do explain.

Surely it’s far more helpful - and truthful - to say he’s probably just a regular human being LOOKING at an attractive woman, and it’s nothing more or less than that.

What exactly should the OP say when she ‘confronts’ him….?

‘Ogling’, ‘fancies the fuck’…?!

Stop making stuff up.

You think riling the OP up is actually helpful here?