Caught DH looking at sister in law

[Star1104]

my sister in law is a absolutely gorgous she is my husbands brothers
wife. I got into my car yesterday after shopping and my husband was looking at a picture of me and her, he quickly side glanced and zoomed into my face and said aww. That moment really deflated me as I knew he was looking at her. I don’t see the point of Confronting him, I just think he has a secret crush on her as
she is so stunning.

would anyone feel same as me?

This!
op cop onto yourself. He's married to you, he fancies you. It's far more likely he thought it was a nice photo of you than he was ogling your SIL. Get a grip or you are going to destroy your marriage

why would you discredit what the OP is saying

because reinforcing harmful thought patterns helps no one.

This OP would be best served by re-examining her assumptions and recognising that creating a fantasy about her husband having a crush on his SIL is not good for her or their relationship.

validation is not always a good thing.

Attraction is soooo much more than looks OP.

Always just a tad suspicious of threads like these...

Not all attractive people are beautiful. And not all beautiful people are attractive. So even IF your DH was looking at her picture and thinks she is stunning it doesn't equal having a crush on her. He is with you and married to you and hopefully very happy with his life.

😂🤷

Is he literally not allowed to look at a woman?

This!

I think what you are feeling is totally understandable, but as others have said you have to remember that he is with you.

That said, I think there is a difference between the occasional appreciative glance - your husband is not blind and you yourself say the SIL is gorgeous - and any kind of obsessive behaviour. If he starts to collect photos of her, or pays her more attention than you, then he needs pulling up, but nothing you have said suggests this is the case.

Especially when the OP never returns 🤔

It doesn't matter how gorgeous she is, she's his brothers wife who he presumably gets to see plenty of in the flesh. So if your husband's resorting to gazing at her photograph in the car, then this is worrying and creepy, and I'd be more concerned about that then feeling jealous right now. Do you really suspect your husband of mooning over his own sil in this weird way?

Looking at a picture? Nah. My ex looked stared/ogled/ at his SIL in the shower.

1984

Grow up.

He spied on her? What a creep, no wonder he is an ex. Did she find out?

Same here, I like looking at beautiful women, but I don't find them a sexual turn on- I just like looking at beautiful faces. Completely normal. It would be a very different story if he was flirting with her or making sexual remarks etc

Do you get upset if he watches Marvel films with Gal Gadot in them?

OP, I honestly thought that you caught DH looking at his SIL licking his lips or something, he was just looking!

Dh just had a bath with Alice Roberts apparently*. I could be worried, but I'm still the one he wants to wake up with, flab, eye bags and all.

Jealousy is a massive relationship killer.

*Libel laws require me to point out he was watching a doco of hers whilst having a bath quite solo. I know he thinks she's a looker though, and has the brains to go with.

Edited due to dodgy looking auto-correct!

I think you're reading too much into this. Both DH can admire people of the opposite sex or say that someone we know is beautiful, it's not a comment to denigrate one another.

This is so randomly specific…!? 😂

It's not controlling at all. OP isn't suggesting he never see the sister in law again. I'd suggest by your over reaction that you have control issues...

Gal gadot is now in Marvel films?

OP I can understand it wasn’t your favourite part of the day and everyone gets a bit piqued at some level if they think their SO finds someone else sexually attractive. That’s a natural biological insecurity. Our survival instinct doesn’t want to be “left” by people we might procreate with because for our cave person selves that would be a problem. Ignore the comments about the problem being yours, as though you are somehow uniquely insecure. I suspect you are just more honest or in tune with those impulses.

That said, we aren’t living in a cave anymore and how you handle that pique is the relevant bit. He may not actually even have been thinking that she was attractive, but even if he was, you can’t police his thoughts or attractions and he hasn’t done anything that overstepped any lines. He’s allowed to look, he’s allowed to think positive things and in fairness he did his best to try to shield you from feeling miffed. I can’t really see what you would say if you confronted him anyway. If it’s upsetting you to think he finds her attractive, getting him to admit it isn’t going to help. I think it’s just a “move on” situation. In reality if we all knew what everyone around us was really thinking we’d probably be horrified.

And as a geek I have to say inaccurate.

Gal Gadot is in DC films.

Sorry!!!!!!!

But she is stunning, so the PP's point is still well made.