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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fab & Glam Part 4 - Spring into Happiness!

1000 replies

Paddlechick666 · 17/03/2008 13:26

Good Lord people, we've filled a thread up in about 6 weeks!

Anyways, here's a link to the venue Tanee suggested for a picnic:

www.coramsfields.org/index.php

Looks fabulous so let's get planning!

ps: sorry for London/Southern centric take on this but we'll plan hits around the rest of the country too I promise.

pps: Lily, get yer butt on FB woman!

OP posts:
Paddlechick666 · 19/03/2008 12:17

oooh, can't stay away.

I just renewed my lotto tix for the next 4 weeks. I now play 2 lines on a Weds & Sat and 1 line on Euro Millions.

Keep 'em crossed because I am so going to take all of us and our dc on the best holiday ever if I win big.

Then when I get back I will start funding the retreat that TFM is going to run.

Baffy, you're so right. This guy really does beggar belief and I will raise a glass of fizz the day TFM's Grand Escape is complete.

OP posts:
TimeForMe · 19/03/2008 12:19

I won't Baffy, I promise. Even I have had enough now. I have no more to give, tolerance, forgiveness, nothing. It's all gone. I just want out!

Baffy · 19/03/2008 12:19

Me too pc!

In fact, I'll have the bottles of champagne lined up!

TimeForMe · 19/03/2008 12:22

I am going to keep everything crossed PC!

My dream is to win the lottery, nothing big, just enough

TimeForMe · 19/03/2008 12:22

You two, really! any excuse for a drink!

Paddlechick666 · 19/03/2008 12:25

'hic

OP posts:
Dior · 19/03/2008 13:24

Message withdrawn

Baffy · 19/03/2008 14:12

Dior, after having met you in RL, I really do find it even harder to believe that he could possibly have an issue with the way you look. You are absolutely gorgeous. And I really don't know how he can even suggest that there is an issue due to that.

I really feel for you. All the effort you have to put in. When he should be really proud to have you in his life!

I understand perhaps both of you need to put that little bit more effort in.

But I bet there are times when you're thinking why should you be the one making the effort - he should most definitely be taking the lead in that department!

I guess it boils down to how much you want him and how much you want to work things out. It may mean that you're the one who keeps on top of making a conscious effort not to let things slide. And as long as you love him enough and think he's worth it, then hopefully you won't begrudge him for that...

It's a really difficult one

TimeForMe · 19/03/2008 15:05

Thank you Dior, I have a plan but unfortunately just don't have the cash to be able to see it through yet. I am working on it though, the best I can.

Guess what. I have just old my first ever RL person what is going on. Family friend of a long time, known me since I was a baby, has just rung for advice over his broadband, asked me a leading question and it all came pouring out. I feel exhausted again now! It feels good to have told sometone who knows him what is going on though. He actually said that he always thought there was something going on. Keep having this really nice thought that he and his wife might take pity on me and come round with little cheque

Off to pick up dd now, she brightens my day and so do you all of course! xx

Baffy · 19/03/2008 16:03

Excellent news TFM! I am so proud of you!

Yet another step in the right direction.

Each day you never fail to amaze me. You'll get there sooner than you think. I'm sure of it

TimeForMe · 19/03/2008 16:18

I hope so Baffy, I really do. Thank you xx

TimeForMe · 19/03/2008 16:20

I have also decided that I am going to get some boxes and during the Easter break I am going to pack up the belongings of mine that he allocated to the garage. I'm 'tidying up', in anticipation of leaving. The power of positive thinking

HappyWoman · 19/03/2008 17:24

TFM I am sure you will feel better for doing something as a step forward - good luck for that - you have worked so hard to find what you want - just make sure you are doing it for you and you alone. I am sure you are as you have thought about this for an awful long time.

Dior - i knew you were a bit down - i know too that you so want h to change. Maybe this is just a blip and he has forgotten what he needs to do whilst away. You can now remind him . Try not to think this is it - he is still learning and may it just be a mistake.

I too cannot understand how the weight can be an issue - its not like you are the size of a whale or anything. That is one thing my h has never worried about, but i do know it has affected me a lot.

ginnedup · 19/03/2008 17:57

Hi Teabags,
Its so depressing isn't it. We had such a great day on Sunday and all felt so positive but they are dragging us all down again.
I've just had a doorstep screaming fit at P in front of my Mum . I can't say why on here but might put it on FB if I can face it later. I can't have anything to do with him any more, he's spiteful and evil when he's drunk.
Dior - sorry things are slipping back again, please don't let him take all your confidence away, you are not fat, you are gorgeous, he has no right to make you feel like this.
TFM - dust off the mincer and the freezer, I've a feeling I'll be needing it soon!

Dior · 19/03/2008 18:52

Message withdrawn

ginnedup · 19/03/2008 19:03

OK so you may be a bit overweight, but so are a lot of people but that doesn't in any way make you unattractive. You dress nicely, you have lovely hair and a lovely personality, not to mention the pretty (Liz Hurley look alike) face. Nobody would look at you and think of you as fat. They really wouldn't.
The thing is that your H puts you down or makes you feel unattractive, so you start to believe him.
If you want to lose weight for yourself or for health reasons that is good, but it shouldn't be for him and he has no right to make you feel bad.
Can you tell I'm all fired up and angry tonight

Dior · 19/03/2008 19:07

Message withdrawn

ginnedup · 19/03/2008 19:28

Maybe its not that then. Perhaps he just needs a bit of kick up the bum to remind him how close he came to losing you last year!
Hope it goes OK.

lilybubble · 19/03/2008 20:19

My goodness you lot can talk!!!

HW, sorry that OWSG is being such a cowbag I haven't met h's SG either, much as I have been tempted to confront / phone / email her, I wanted to retain my dignity more, because I know it would get bloody ugly if I met her! When she and h split up - and it's only a matter of time! - I will then do something, for sure. Oh and I noticed your shoes - black with white spots, but obviously I didn't know they were new! THought they were fab :O

Baffy, look who's talking!!! You and ds should be doing the modelling! Personally I can't think of anything worse, it's not me at all, but thanks for the compliment :O I agree with HW, in that whoever your H ends up with, will definitely not ever be anywhere near as fab as you. It is most definitely his loss. Great to hear you sounding so positive!!

TFM I am so glad to hear you are feeling better. Ooh how blissful if P will take you to holiday and then leave you there!!! I love Weymouth, used to go there as a kid, it's fab.

Tanee - yes we do get freebies. Why don't you ping me your email address - do it through FB rather than here - and I will add you to our comps list. I can usually get them at other times too, so let's chat and work something out. Hairspray IS one of ours, but it's selling phenomenally well so prob can't do that one at the moment...

sugar, you have never come across as spiteful or anything like that. I thought you were lovely, even though we didn't get to talk much. Do talk to us, or just TFM at first if you'd rather. It's so therapeutic to get it out.

GU, lol at the Trisha Goddard comment!! Quite true though.... Oh, so sorry things have got so bad with P. I will check FB in a min to see if you've posted there.

Dior, well done for coping with G like that!! How are things with H now? Hope this evening is going a bit better. I agree with GU, you just look lovely, and if you weigh a bit more than you have done at another point, well you are still the same lovely person! It's clear you take care of yourself and make a real effort. You are bloody gorgeous and he should know and appreciate that!

As for me, well I had a great night last night. The show was terrific, really fun. THe party was in the Natural History Museum, which was amazing, partying underneath and around the dinosaurs!! I got papped on the red carpet on the way in and had a really fun time. Lots of celebs there - spoke to Alan Sugar and Frankie Valli! Saw the cute guy from office party v briefly but it was late, as he was about to leave - dammit! I was v tired at work today though, but feeling better now after lovely glass of bubbly. H has called from Australia a couple more times, and my friends out there have been reporting in on 'the skank' as they call her - nobody thinks much of her at all, hooray!!

ginnedup · 19/03/2008 20:32

Hi Lilybubble! Can we swap jobs. Yours sounds far too glamourous! I'm sure you'd be happier sat in my boring office with boring people doing boring work!

HappyWoman · 20/03/2008 07:03

Hi lillybubble

Your job sounds fantastic i would just love all those parties - i used to work in a hospital where lots of famous would be treated and i just loved it. Does that make me sound shallow to enjoy spotting the fame . DD (11 yrs) has a party tonight and is dressing up as a celebrity - the trouble is there really are not many for them to choose so every girl is going as Amy Whinehouse !! we really cant think of anyone else to go as.

I have meet the ow before and did phone her a few times in the beginning - i am so tempted to again now as she is doing everything she can to get to him. I do think he is doing well to sort it out though and she is not liking the fact that he is ignoring her - she sent an email saying they needed to talk as she feels the goalposts have been moved. I think she cant handle the fact that he is completly blanking her i suspect we are heading for the 'you owe me an explanation' questions.

Dior i know how you feel about the amount of weight to lose - i too have a similar amount to lose to get to a healthy weight. But you do carry it well so please do not be hard on yourself - i cannot believe anyone sees your excess pounds anyway and will not what defines you.

Hi to everyone else - are we all ready for the cold wet Easter?

Dior · 20/03/2008 09:25

Message withdrawn

TimeForMe · 20/03/2008 09:34

Hi everyone

Thank you Dior I managed not to see him at all last night which is good, I don't know what I am going to do over the Easter break, hopefull he will be going racing, if not I will be either pounding the streets or locking myself away in my room. Whilever I don't have to see him I am fine, I'm strong.
Dior, when I look at your photo's I do not notice your weight. You have such a beautiful face with striking features and gorgeous hair! I am sure it isn't only me who notices how beautiful you are, inside and out, first and foremost. It's such a shame that your weight gets in the way of you taking pleasure from your own beauty and using it to your full advantage!

Hi Liliybubble I love Weymouth too. I can't believe that I am actually hoping he meant what he said and I get to take the holiday without him. I must admit the thought of waving dd off if he decides to go is something I can't deal with yet. One thing is for sure, I won't be going with him!

GU Hope you are ok. I will pop onto FB to see if you have posted. I must say though, I am so glad you are being strong and are able to stand up for yourself. Keep smiling xx

TimeForMe · 20/03/2008 09:36

Hi HW Do you think you will be able to hold yourself back from having a word with her? Maybe you won't be able to rest until you have. We are with you all the way whatever you decide to do. We want to know all the details though!

Paddlechick666 · 20/03/2008 10:20

morning all

few organisational dramas on Paddle Planet as childcare arrangements went west with DM's car last night.

dd back at CM for 4th time this week so that I could come in especially for meeting with my boss. I've been waiting 5 weeks and he's cancelled 3 times. I am suited and booted and ready to rock.

He's cancelled again

D'you know what? I am fed up with being bloody cold! I want to feel warm sun on my face.

I don't think Tenerife is going to happen now. I can only get a studio appt for nearly £700 for that week which I just cannot justify Am still casting around for other options but tour operators really penalise single parents and single parent holidays tend to be so much more expensive.....

I've been on FB quickly this morning and GUP could deffo use some TeaBag support over there.

Mac, I need your banana bread recipe. I have rotting bananas galore this week!

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