Do I sleep with him?

[fancycat56473]

I (F47) have 3 beautiful children whose father I am amicably divorced from for about 3 years. I recently attended a party and met a lovely gentleman who I will call Paul (fake name) we enjoyed a kiss at the end of the night and he has expressed an interest in seeing me again.....

He seems unwilling to want to go out somewhere e.g a bar or restaurant, and wants me to go over to his house instead. This feels rather forward and he has insinuated that we would have sex. While he is a lovely guy, he is significantly younger than me (24) 😱. From our conversations he does seem to want to be involved in my kids life though - he is not looking to have any of his own.

Please advise. thanks.

Hey I'll have you know that 47yr olds are more than capable! 😂

What a wonderful update after, oh, a week!

Ps. I love that cat!

Goodness! All this in 6 days. What can possibly go wrong?!

Sounds a real catch. Well done you!

I'm 38 and my rule of thumb is not to sleep with anyone young enough to be my child. So I draw the line at say 10 years younger - late 20s would be my limit. Over 20 years younger I just couldn't, no way. But each to their own of course 😬

Tbh @CombatLingerie I reckon it’s a bored Uni student who thinks MN is hilarious and will laugh drunkenly about this before playing never have I ever and beer pong with their mates on a Friday night.

She’s saying she met her DH when in 20s, he in 40s when he had 2 kids and likening it to this scenario… but it isn’t remotely the same, kids are likely in her custody most of the time and are at substantially more threat from a male being brought into the home over a female.

This is why I don’t think it’s authentic mainly, any mother in her right mind would not be considering this, especially with the context he is coaching her son. Most would see the safe guarding issue and the potential social ruination for the child.

Also the language and manner of writing is odd and immature.

I'll ignore the bizarre, old fashioned way you speak which sounds like a young man's version of how an 'older' laydee would type....

He wants to meet your children, aye? Won't take you out but is now making positive steps towards the goal of meeting your kids? And this is good, is it? What a load of cobblers- thank fuck!

@iamstrugglingalot yes I just couldn't, it would feel so wrong. I have some male friends in their twenties and am always interested in what they're up to and also when they get a new love but none of us would be interested sexually in each other! It's more almost maternal.

Hands up who thinks the OP is 24yo Paul 🤚

👋

🙌

He's 24. You're old enough to be his mum. So, he's just a kid.

I hope his reluctance to eat or drink out isn't because of meanness.

🤚😂

So in the space of a few days it’s gone from him wanting sex but not being seen in public with you to suddenly him not being concerned about sex anymore and you’re now dating and he wants an active role if your kids life - yep that sounds realistic 🤣

And you only met him at a party but now he’s turned out to be your son’s rugby coach - what’s the chances??

How old are your children?

And tbh the flowery wording makes the whole thing sound like a cheap Mills & Boon

I would run a mile from Paul simply because he’s expressed that he wants to be involved in your children’s lives?! Who says this at this early stage? And his age omg I don’t even know what to say about that , too young.

He just wants sex and if that's all you want go for it.

What dating have you done in the last week? Why did he change his mind?

He is using you for sex, surely you know this?

This has got disaster written all over it

@Justia totally agree!

OP, thank you for the update on this. I'll be candid here, when the chemistry has been right, I've sometimes had sex on a first date and often on a second.

But that was on the basis that we had done or were going to do other things together. I have no issues with him being younger, unless you are looking for a partner for life, I would question seriously question someone who does not want to do social things together. Good sex can be lovely, but surely you want someone who would like to go for a meal, a day out, or even a weekend away as well?

He wants to be involved with your kids??? How did you not run a mile at this red flag?!?!

I think he is going to be too young really.By all means go out and have fun ,dont read too much into it either way

But unless I've misread something here, wasn't the main issue that he wasn't interested in going out and having fun, just going in and having fun?