Do I sleep with him?

[fancycat56473]

I (F47) have 3 beautiful children whose father I am amicably divorced from for about 3 years. I recently attended a party and met a lovely gentleman who I will call Paul (fake name) we enjoyed a kiss at the end of the night and he has expressed an interest in seeing me again.....

He seems unwilling to want to go out somewhere e.g a bar or restaurant, and wants me to go over to his house instead. This feels rather forward and he has insinuated that we would have sex. While he is a lovely guy, he is significantly younger than me (24) 😱. From our conversations he does seem to want to be involved in my kids life though - he is not looking to have any of his own.

Please advise. thanks.

If you're up for some no strings sex go for it & enjoy.

Lots of men his age go after "milfs" it's a fantasy for them and absolutely not. Wouldn't entertain the idea. I'm 42 and occasionally have sex with a 34 year old. That's my limit

who is also possibly a nonce?

Omg how did you work this one out?!

By being involved with your kids, does he mean he’s going to date you first and then settle down with your daughter?!

This is not a long term thing, he doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, he is luring you in with this idea he could be some sort of father figure because he wants to get you into bed. There is no genuine intention there.

If all you want is sex for a brief period then ok.

Except that everyone who gets involved on a no strings basis finds themselves entangled in plenty of silly string of emotion.

I think it could be inviting trouble into yours and your kids lives.

But if you haven’t had sex in a while I can see the appeal.

I suspect he is looking for an older woman to have sex with - it’s a bit of a common fantasy amongst 20-something men that is all over TikTok, or so I am told! If you’re up for that , go for it and enjoy, but I would be very surprised if he wants to become a stepdad at this point in his life..

I agree with you. These types of threads always generate a significant amount of moralistic sexist bullshit and this one is no exception.

OP this is a pointless question to ask a bunch of internet strangers, no one can answer it for you. Because the only answer is if you want to, in full knowledge of the circumstances and limitations.

He wants a shag not a relationship. If you’re happy with that then go for it, but if you’re hoping for this to develop into something more then throw this one back.

Is he a friend of someone you know?

ive done dafter things, but id be much more wary these days. Most young people seem to want/expect a much rougher type of sex that I'd be happy with an id be scared, these days, of getting myself into a scary situation.

i wouldn't start up a relationship with someone so young, but if it was just sex I'd go for it if he was getting me all hot & bothered

Paul is giving me the ICK.

If you only want to have sex, and feel as if you can handle a sexual relationship, it is your choice to proceed or not.

Nothing will come out of this.

Do not have him around your children nor in your home, nor meeting them..also do not discuss your children with him.

Someone who is ashamed to be seen with you isn't lovely.

You don't even know this man well to determine if he's "lovely", nor to have such discussions about him entering your children's lives.

Please practice some sort of discernment in the future.. meeting guys once at a party, making out with them, discussing your children, discussing future plans that involve being in children's lives with a stranger is absolutely unacceptable and absurd.

If you're ever looking for possibly a serious relationship in the future, you have to take time to get to know one another, take things slowly, work up to things...not have your desperation on full display. Also you presented yourself as someone who is easily accessible...someone that they don't have to work to have access to..

You are a recently divorced mother with 3 children.. if they aren't adults living away from the home, you need to vet men futher and be careful about who you want to be around your children, and how your children would react to this person.

It's alarming and concerning that you're making such plans to expose him to your children without their knowledge nor consent. That you're deciding for them.

Causal sex away from the home, if you choose to participate in that dynamic.

He doesn't want anything but sex.

He only wants sex obviously. How old are your own kids? He’s young enough to be your kid. I’m younger than you with a 22yr old and the thought of him with a 40+yr old with 3 kids makes me feel ill. I would hunt you down.

I'm glad you gave him a fake name. If you'd said Steve we'd all know who he was.

There is nothing wrong with having sex with someone just because you want to but you both need to know that this is all it would be. I'm not suggesting that you should trade sex for a good meal but wouldn't you rather be friends with somebody and date them before sleeping together? If your children are young I don't think this guy will be around for long enough to meet them, if they're teenagers they'll have more in common with him than you do!

😂😂😂😂
Also glad you pointed out it was a fake name
OP.
Otherwise we'd all be assuming it was Paul down the road

No, don't do it. Unless you're happy to be used for sex.
He's not even bothering to make an effort for a date or two first

Go into it with your eyes open OP. He’s likely to just want sex. Fine if you’re ok with that, but I wouldn’t expect any kind of relationship if he can’t even take you out for a drink first

I am definitely not sex negative- and even I think this is utterly nuts and ridiculous.

He is after some no strings sex with a mature milf, if you are okay with that then go for it.
he would not be interested in dating or meeting your children

If you want to be fuck buddies with a man half your age then go for it. It won't be anything else.

He probably wants to brag to his friends he's shagged someone twice his age.

Surprised to see all the "go for it" comments for NSA sex. If the poster was a 47yo father of 3 saying he'd met a 23yo woman would the comments be quite so encouraging?

My DC are 22 and 24, so around this age. The thought of a 47yo being interested in them gives me the ick.

I'd be saying no to going to his house OP (young to have his own house but good for him if he does). If a man wasn't prepared to go on a proper date with me, then he'd not be getting me in bed, even if I was prepared to date someone young enough to be my child.

How old are your kids? If any of them are teens I bet they'd be horrified at the idea of their mum shagging such a young bloke.

If you’re happy with no strings sex then go for it but he’s hardly a gentleman & not someone to be involved with your kids after one kiss/ shag, (unless he’s similar age & wants a mate )
Your choice of course but I doubt there’s anything long term or romantic going on here

He's always wanted to shag a woman twice his age

Go on, indulge his fantasy

There's some difference between being 'sex negative' and picking a bloke who a) will not meet you out of the house and b) is on about being involved in your kids. Casual can be straightforward and respectful

OP, if you are single and someone you find attractive wants a shag with you then if I was you I would go for it. Why on earth not?

a lot of posters have said the same, albeit grudgingly. They don’t like the idea of a someone having a good time but don’t have a good reason.

they would not be keen on a 47 year old man shagging a 24 year old woman, not at all, but that’s just what they are like.

shag away.