Cosmo and stuff have tried to make it about things like that, but I think in its original, non-western form it was about achieving a spiritual altered state of consciousness for oneself, rather than romance.
The tantra bloke I was with most DEFINITELY was spiritual. It was a lifestyle for him (and not one harming anybody in the process, so didn't bother me). I was open to it but I'm just not built to be overly spiritual. There was definitely an altered state of consciousness I achieved though with him, one I've never replicated. It was out of this world amazing. Lasted a few days too. I used to think that if everybody could experience that, there'd truly be no wars.
With my FWB he was less spiritual than me, so it wasn't spiritual at all and it felt physically great. I never had the altered state of consciousness thing though with him.
Honestly, it's quite sad the number of jokes (although I'm laughing too) when nobody jokes about being dominated, tied up, strangled (sorry, "choked") and the rest. Of all the "kinks", if it's that, tantra is the only one that views AND treats each partner as equals and full people, not just target orifices or subjects. Whether this guy is spiritual or not, assuming he has half a clue what he's doing, he's saying he wants to focus on her pleasure. The response from a bunch of women is to joke about that. What on earth does that say about the amount of pleasure women are used to getting?! It's literally so unbelievable to the majority that the idea is a joke!
I will say that there's a distinct downside to partners who use tantric techniques and ideas of pleasuring women: it's VERY difficult to accept the "standard" afterwards. When you know the extended pleasure your body is capable of enjoying, it's hard to think you'll never have it again. Doesn't mean you always want long sessions. Does mean your standards are raised considerably though.