Been with DH a long time. 3 teenage kids. Until a few years ago, I would have said our marriage was strong and good, although always had a problem with his temper. He's not the best at processing/articulating emotions - flares up very quickly, not great at communicating calmly when there is any conflict. However, until recently he would be quick to apologise and this sort of thing would happen rarely.
Past few years have been quite stressful for various reasons, he's snappy and grumpy the majority of the time, and his temper is getting worse. He's never violent, but he shouts and swears at me and the kids. It's like he sees red. We had a lovely day today, doing festive prep, having fun with the kids. We saw some friends in the afternoon, had a few drinks (this probably didn't help), came home, he was doing more cooking. Kids were pissing around play-fighting and DH lost his shit with them to the point he made them all cry.
He was literally screaming at them that he does so much for them and they don't appreciate him, it was an absolute explosion and we were all begging him to stop. After storming around the house, telling us Christmas was off and making the poor kids utterly distraught, he calms down a little bit. Lays a bit of a guilt trip on them, trying to explain that they do his head in, and he's so stressed out, and feels unappreciated etc. It was awful. I feel like they'll never forget this. Eldest son was saying our family is dysfunctional. He is right.
I have apologised to the kids, tried to talk in through. I hate to say it, but I even made some excuses for DH to try to 'explain things' - when I know in my heart there is no excuse.
What also feels disturbing is that - while he's apologised to the kids - he's not apologising to me. Has gone to sleep in another room leaving me to put all the presents out etc.
This is it, isn't it? I can't come back from this.