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Original poster

How much does size matter?

81 replies

cocktailsausagee · 21/12/2023 08:58

I need help/answers/wise words/to be told to not overthink and get on with it...

I've been seeing a man for about 3 months. Both divorced, both the main carers for our children. We've taken it really slow in some aspects. Think lots of long phone calls, lots of walks, dinners, just spending time together as and when we could around our children and work etc. I've been to his house, he's been to mine and I am beginning to fall hard for him. He's great.

Now.. the problem. As you may expect we have been intimate a fair few times during this period, but we have not had sex. We've been a bit old fashioned and held off a little as we're both new to dating again. However, he is on the small side, as in the smallest I've seen. In risk of sounding like Samantha from SATC, I'm worried it'll put a dampener on things. I'm worried from my perspective too, my ex husband was quite well endowed and I've had 2 kids and 2 3rd degree tears. What if I'm too big? What if that part just doesn't work for us?

I feel I'm overthinking but the more I try not to think about it, the more I am worrying!

OP posts:
Olika · 21/12/2023 09:44

Try it and then you know. 🙂

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 21/12/2023 09:50

All I can say is. You will have to suck it and see.

GreenwichOrTwicks · 21/12/2023 09:55

Well I did Google it

How much does size matter?
Watchkeys · 21/12/2023 10:09

Is it the case that you're not really bothered about his size, but more about his satisfaction?

Milliemoos5 · 21/12/2023 10:19

whyamiawakestill · 21/12/2023 09:23

Best sex I had was with a ex who had a skinny one, small and skinny, it totally didn't matter as he was beautiful, fit and handsome and the kissing was amazing. In fact it was so good I always forget he was so small.

I've gad crap sex with bigger guys.

Same here! I returned many more times to the same guy too despite his small weiner! Best sex ever and, like you, he is stunningly beautiful and a great laugh too! The penis size in this scenario is utterly irrelevant; I’ve had big guys before who have been utter shit in bed!

OhpoorMe · 21/12/2023 10:24

I think it entirely depends on what you like. For me the best part of sex is penetration also size is important to me. I don't need anything massive but 6inches and a good girth is perfect! I've been with the skinny penis and the short penis and neither did anything for me even though the guys were great.

rockinginarockingchair · 21/12/2023 10:32

I had a one night stand many years ago with a guy he was lovely BUT.......
When it came to the act omg he was the size of a chap stick i kid you not if id faked anymore more i could have won an oscar that night.
Im still traumatised by the size of it.
Put me right off men.
Size matters to me.

Ladybrrrd · 21/12/2023 10:41

One of the best experiences I've ever had was with micro. Seriously - my thumb was bigger. But grinding feels good, he was great with his hands.(and mouth!)

I think the cliché 'its what you do with it' has some truth.

Sleepsleepsleep123 · 21/12/2023 10:44

How small?

In my experience there is such a thing as too small.

Sleepsleepsleep123 · 21/12/2023 10:45

Sleepsleepsleep123 · 21/12/2023 10:44

How small?

In my experience there is such a thing as too small.

Sorry, just seen.

This would put me off tbh.

GreenLight23 · 21/12/2023 10:50

I think you need to get on with it and see. Is he possibly avoiding sex because of his size?

Kittenkitty · 21/12/2023 11:08

I think the way people talk about loose vaginas etc isn’t helpful. Your genitalia will have changed since having children but many women have multiple births and tearing and I don’t think you’d suggest that sex with them wouldn’t be pleasurable. Stop thinking about whether he’ll enjoy it and make sure you do 😊

mrssanchez · 21/12/2023 11:18

Just be careful with contraception, I had a thing with a guy with a small penis and the condom came off which really freaked me out.

I didn't keep seeing him but it was more due to political differences, I think we could have got past the disappointing sex, he was very attractive.

Holdingsteady · 21/12/2023 11:43

rockinginarockingchair · 21/12/2023 10:32

I had a one night stand many years ago with a guy he was lovely BUT.......
When it came to the act omg he was the size of a chap stick i kid you not if id faked anymore more i could have won an oscar that night.
Im still traumatised by the size of it.
Put me right off men.
Size matters to me.

A chap stick 😂Lordy Lord. I’m trying not to wake up DP who is asleep next to me but this has me laughing so much.

Thankfully DP has a big un, I’m a lucky girl

Mind you, I once dated someone who had a walnut whip, that was a disappointment

Aroundthewaygirl · 21/12/2023 11:49

Size matters to me. My ex had a small one and it limited the positions we could do plus it always slipped out which was annoying.

but I have a friend who is with someone with a micro penis and she says it’s the best sex she’s had.

i think anatomy, skills, and emotional connection make a difference most of the time.

winewinewine23 · 21/12/2023 11:52

@GreenwichOrTwicks thanks for looking it up, I wanted to know too but was too scared to look 😂

Janinejones · 21/12/2023 12:50

It will probably be great fun getting to know how to please each other. Take it slow, don't add pressure to the relationship. Enjoy it all for a few months then decide about the complete deal.

Indifferentchickenwings · 21/12/2023 13:05

(1) pelvic floor and exercise it during the sex
(2) you havnt shagged him yet so you don’t know !
(3) an attentive lover can do over and above PIV
(4) if appropriate introduce sex toys

Helenahandkart · 21/12/2023 13:17

My best ever sex was with someone who had a small (though not quite micro) penis, which never got properly hard. We had an amazing connection and he gave the best head I’ve ever had. 20 years later I still fantasise about him, despite having great sex with my DH.

MysticalMegx · 21/12/2023 13:24

I definitely don't agree with the bigger the better from experience

GloomyWeek44 · 21/12/2023 13:32

I have had no children and my vagina can really vary depending on the time of the month. Near ovulation it's massive 😂

Hbosh · 21/12/2023 13:33

It can definitely be too small.
It can also be too big.

But you're worried about disappointing him rather than not being satisfied yourself, aren't you?
Darling, you have just about as much control over your own vagina as he does over the size of his penis. He's with you right now, so he must see something in you. Every time you start a new relationship, you're at risk of being hurt. That's inevitable. All you can do is take the leap, just as he is doing, and hope for the best.

TasteOfHerCherryChapstick · 21/12/2023 13:36

Like several PP I've had great sex with a bloke with a very small penis. He was attentive, good with his hands and mouth, confident and his dirty talk was off the charts hot!

I'm currently seeing (and having even better sex) with a woman... Conclusive proof that a penis, of whatever size, isn't what makes for great sex!

Maddy70 · 21/12/2023 13:36

The best awx i wver had was woth a giuy with a very small penis. He knew what to do aoze definitely doesnt matter

eatdrinkandbemerry · 21/12/2023 13:39

I'm bi so size obviously doesn't matter to me 🤣
It's more about foreplay and how they want to satisfy you and not just themselves