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Relationships

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Original poster

How much does size matter?

81 replies

cocktailsausagee · 21/12/2023 08:58

I need help/answers/wise words/to be told to not overthink and get on with it...

I've been seeing a man for about 3 months. Both divorced, both the main carers for our children. We've taken it really slow in some aspects. Think lots of long phone calls, lots of walks, dinners, just spending time together as and when we could around our children and work etc. I've been to his house, he's been to mine and I am beginning to fall hard for him. He's great.

Now.. the problem. As you may expect we have been intimate a fair few times during this period, but we have not had sex. We've been a bit old fashioned and held off a little as we're both new to dating again. However, he is on the small side, as in the smallest I've seen. In risk of sounding like Samantha from SATC, I'm worried it'll put a dampener on things. I'm worried from my perspective too, my ex husband was quite well endowed and I've had 2 kids and 2 3rd degree tears. What if I'm too big? What if that part just doesn't work for us?

I feel I'm overthinking but the more I try not to think about it, the more I am worrying!

OP posts:

Enko · 21/12/2023 09:02

In my experience its not the size it's how well they are at pleasuring you.

This can be done many other ways than penetrative sex. So it's possible to have a mutually satisfying relationship ship with all sizes.

Also on a side note I opened this thinking it was going to be about clothes sizing 😀

a222 · 21/12/2023 09:06

ah, i might get flamed for saying this but here goes

you will not be happy, you can ‘put up’ with it for a bit but after a while you will want a bigger one. my ex was a biggie and luckily so is current bf, but if he wasn’t i would definitely struggle due to being spoilt with the size previously lol.

all i can say is, if there’s doubts now, listen.

olderbutwiser · 21/12/2023 09:06

Been here, exactly. In my experience size does matter. It depends on his experience, your relationship and how important piv sex is to you (both, separately). If you can work round it you’ll be fine, but if anyone is in denial you may end up very disappointed.

BloodyAdultDC · 21/12/2023 09:11

Hmmm. My current dp is the largest I've seen, but before him was the smallest and there are positions that I can't do with current dp (that were bloody incredible) that I did before.

Surely it's the whole package (pun intended ha) not just piv? Previous smaller partners have been better at some things than larger partners, I don't think I ever yearned for bigger before, as long as they know what they're doing all round then you can have just as much fun with fellas with smaller penises!

Cas112 · 21/12/2023 09:13

Usually men with smaller penis' tend to be a bit more attentive to satisfy you so you never know it could be the best sex ever. I hate touching small penis' though, there is just something about it that goes through me. Your allowed to like what you like op so don't pressure yourself if you don't see yourself getting used to it

PossumintheHouse · 21/12/2023 09:15

Size does matter to me. Physically speaking, I’ve always found that size (especially girth) has resulted in better sex, providing that the partner isn’t a selfish arsehole, of course.
But saying that, I had a partner for 10 months who was very small and with a bit more, um, effort and foreplay, it was still good and it was a loving, positive relationship.
Prefer a big one, though, not going to lie.

Original poster

cocktailsausagee · 21/12/2023 09:16

Thank you for the replies so far. I think I'm more concerned he'll be disappointed with me after 2 kids and 2 rounds of surgery afterwards.

OP posts:

snowlady4 · 21/12/2023 09:17

I don't think you're going to know if he's for you or not until you have sex! It might be the best you've ever had!- maybe size won't matter if he's hitting all the right spots!- and if he's great in every other way, I don't think I'd end it all based on this. How would you feel if he was saying similar about you (my ex had massive boobs and a tiny waist and I just don't know if I want to be with her smaller boobs and mum tum, type comments, for example?)
You might be over thinking it completely and building it up to be a more major thing than it really is?
Whatever you do, don't tell him you think he's small!- no going back from that!
Good luck.. hope you shag him over Christmas an you come back to tell us it was great an you don't know what all the worrying was for!

Cas112 · 21/12/2023 09:18

cocktailsausagee · 21/12/2023 09:16

Thank you for the replies so far. I think I'm more concerned he'll be disappointed with me after 2 kids and 2 rounds of surgery afterwards.

Just realised your username is cocktail sausage😂 not sure if we should be taking this serious now

Original poster

cocktailsausagee · 21/12/2023 09:19

@Cas112

Very serious! I name changed and had it on the brain 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think I'm going to test it out, the only way to know for sure.

OP posts:

PossumintheHouse · 21/12/2023 09:21

Oh dear. I didn’t spot the name either…

(Does it really remind you of a cocktail sausage?! 👀)

TomatoSandwiches · 21/12/2023 09:23

Is it a micro penis?

Watchkeys · 21/12/2023 09:23

If you're a compatible partnership, it won't be the deciding factor in whether things work out, so don't worry. If one thing doesn't work sexually between two people with a close emotional bond who desire physical intimacy, they'll find some other way of getting their pleasure.

Size matters to those who think that the size of their genitals is the most important thing in their relationship.

whyamiawakestill · 21/12/2023 09:23

Best sex I had was with a ex who had a skinny one, small and skinny, it totally didn't matter as he was beautiful, fit and handsome and the kissing was amazing. In fact it was so good I always forget he was so small.

I've gad crap sex with bigger guys.

DinkyDonkey2018 · 21/12/2023 09:26

Is he perhaps a "grower not a shower"? Only one way to find out but don't tie yourself in knots about your births and surgeries.

StrawberryWater · 21/12/2023 09:26

Worst sex I’ve ever had is with guys who have big dicks. They think because they have a big dick they don’t need to try and do anything other than shove it in. 🤢

Small penises can be accommodated as the guy is more likely to try satisfying you in other ways and actually enjoy doing it.

MiddleagedBeachbum · 21/12/2023 09:27

I’ve had sex with someone where even when he was fully inside me I could t feel anything, it was awful. He had a micro penis though, about the size of a cocktail sausage! . Poor guy. Never again. Sorry!
depends how small we’re talking.

GreenwichOrTwicks · 21/12/2023 09:28

What is a micro penis? O mean is there an actual definition?

DinkyDonkey2018 · 21/12/2023 09:30

GreenwichOrTwicks · 21/12/2023 09:28

What is a micro penis? O mean is there an actual definition?

I dare you to Google it.

And then come back to let us all know 🤣

schmuzz · 21/12/2023 09:30

I hate touching small penis' though, there is just something about it that goes through me.
*
😂😂*

User69371527 · 21/12/2023 09:33

i think for me the worst thing about being in a long relationship with someone with a pretty small one was that I think it affected his whole personality and self esteem so he was horribly insecure deep down but it came across as very proud and arrogant. Now looking at him in my armchair psychologist way, I think his feelings about his small penis was an underlying factor in him being an arse.

agree though in general it’s not the most important thing and I also am finding that now I’m with someone significantly larger and girthier, although I like it the deeper positions are a bit too uncomfortable

Original poster

cocktailsausagee · 21/12/2023 09:39

whyamiawakestill · 21/12/2023 09:23

I've gad crap sex with bigger guys.

He is all of the things you've said. Great kisser, good with his hands and I fancy the pants off of him.

He's really caring, funny and lovely but I would hate to disappoint him in that way

OP posts:

EBearhug · 21/12/2023 09:41

Size is more important when it's too big, because that is just uncomfortable - and the men are often crap at sex because they seem to think size trumps skill. Otherwise, if he's a good lover, it won't matter so much what size he is. If he's the sort of man who just wants to thrust in and out without much else, it's likely to be rubbish whatever.

Original poster

cocktailsausagee · 21/12/2023 09:41

I'd say he's about 4 inches hard but very thin too. Maybe more of a chipolata than a cocktail sausage 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

olderbutwiser · 21/12/2023 09:43

cocktailsausagee · 21/12/2023 09:16

Thank you for the replies so far. I think I'm more concerned he'll be disappointed with me after 2 kids and 2 rounds of surgery afterwards.

I felt the same way (big babies, undeniably stretched vag), but he has his own problems too.

Happily, nothing gives him more pleasure than giving me a really good time 😁.

Just be upfront about it, and remember it’s a mutual/shared issue, not that you are at fault here.

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