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Original poster

Tinder dick pics

108 replies

Alicia88 · 15/12/2023 00:34

Is it possible to find someone on tinder that won't send a photo of their penis the second they get my WhatsApp number?

I've had it 3 times in the last 48 hrs

OP posts:
Iwasdrunkandamenace · 16/12/2023 21:23

@Pinkbonbon are you dating in 2002?

How are you ‘topping the internet up on your phone’?

Do you also use dial up?

Is Steps in the top 40? are you using concealer on your lips instead of lipstick?

If the men you are meeting don’t pay for the app you call them cheap..::but you don’t have unlimited data on your phone? Are you the pot or the kettle?

gamerchick · 16/12/2023 21:27

They showed you theirs, you show them yours. Keep one in your phone.

There's nowt pretty about a dick pic. Maybe to laugh at, asked for or not.

Ilovelurchers · 16/12/2023 21:27

Firstly, I am genuinely sorry you have experienced this. It's a form of sexual harassment and potentially really upsetting. I think many of us (myself included) are conditioned, while we don't welcome it and do condemn it, to laugh it off to some extent - i have certainly joked about it myself with friends in the past. And I find lots of the humorous comments on this thread funny. And humour is a good and valid coping mechanism. But it's equally valid and understandable to find it genuinely upsetting ....

I would love to understand what the pleasure is for men in sending these. I think it's so difficult to know though, as few men would admit to sending them I guuess so it would be hard for any kind of survey to be done. Tho it seems like a highish percentage of men do send them? Some possible explanations include:

A) it's an act of violence driven by mysogyny - they know, or it threatens and upsets the recipient.
B) It's an exhibiotionist fetish, and the same blokes would like someone to watch them fucking, etc, if this was possible.
C) they would enjoy seeing a picture of a vagina and imagine women feel the same.

In a way it doesn't matter, except the problem could be tackled better through education if we understood what motivates it.....

Would anyone on here admit to having dated a bloke who sent her unsolicited ones? I do remember chatting on a thread on here years ago to a nice woman who was looking for NS fun on dating sites and said she didn't mind getting them. And I have a RL friend who again uses Tinder for hook-ups and has certainly continued messaging men after recieving unsolicited dick pics before.....

My husband used to send me them when we lived apart, but only after we had slept together - while I didn't request them as such, and in honesty didn't really know what they were for - i didn't feel violated by it in any way. He would have stopped I am sure if I had asked him to. We did sext a lot when apart and it was in the context of this he sent them, so didn't feel wierd exactly, but at the same time did little for me..... So maybe I will try and ask him about that - what the pleasure was (if any) in sending them, how did he think I would react, did he expect me to find them erotic..... ? We can talk quite freely about sex usually, so I should be able to do this. Dont want to make him feel judged tho.

Sorry, rambling. As I said OP, I do hope you are OK, and it's totally fine to be upset. Sending solidarity! Xxx

gamerchick · 16/12/2023 21:33

I would love to understand what the pleasure is for men in sending these

Maybe we should ask the men who've joined this thread. As they always do when it has a hint of sex mentioned in it. I don't really see 'as a man' type words on many other topics really.

Tonto37 · 16/12/2023 21:42

gamerchick · 16/12/2023 21:33

I would love to understand what the pleasure is for men in sending these

Maybe we should ask the men who've joined this thread. As they always do when it has a hint of sex mentioned in it. I don't really see 'as a man' type words on many other topics really.

@gamerchick I'd never send unsolicited. Only if they ask or if they have already sent me photos of them that are along the same lines. I'd never pressure a woman for photos either.

Women do and have asked me for dick pics though, which is inconsistent with what is said in this thread. I think like most things, timing is key. There needs to be a rapport, some chemistry and respect there.

SingingSands · 16/12/2023 21:42

Send them back. Random penis to random guy.

YouStupidGirl · 16/12/2023 21:44

How are you ‘topping the internet up on your phone’?

Do you also use dial up?

Is Steps in the top 40? are you using concealer on your lips instead of lipstick?

🤣🤣🤣

Cupcakekiller · 16/12/2023 22:33

I always tell guys I don't send or received nudes before messaging on WhatsApp.

gamerchick · 16/12/2023 22:41

Tonto37 · 16/12/2023 21:42

@gamerchick I'd never send unsolicited. Only if they ask or if they have already sent me photos of them that are along the same lines. I'd never pressure a woman for photos either.

Women do and have asked me for dick pics though, which is inconsistent with what is said in this thread. I think like most things, timing is key. There needs to be a rapport, some chemistry and respect there.

Show quote history

Woosh lol. Bless you.

MidnightMeltdown · 16/12/2023 22:47

SingingSands · 16/12/2023 21:42

Send them back. Random penis to random guy.

Love this 😂

I've never received a 'dick pic', but if I ever did, I might keep it on my phone to forward on to the next guy who send me one!

annaT2122 · 17/12/2023 09:45

MidnightMeltdown · 16/12/2023 22:47

Love this 😂

I've never received a 'dick pic', but if I ever did, I might keep it on my phone to forward on to the next guy who send me one!

Show quote history

@MidnightMeltdown I think they can be useful if you have been dating/messaging them and you know it's going to the next step. No nasty surprises, fail to prepare and all that

MsRosley · 17/12/2023 09:57

Why do men do it though? Do they seriously believe women appreciate it, or is it just the internet equivalent of flashing?

MsRosley · 17/12/2023 10:00

OP, don't shoot me, but are your own Tinder pix very sexy? I've seen a fair number of girls on there whose pix wouldn't look out of place on OnlyFans. It might be worth considering why you're attracting men who send dick pics whereas other women don't.

GentlemanJay · 17/12/2023 10:04

I'm on Tinder. I'm also on a naughty site. I don't send dick pics on either. If I'm ever asked for one, I send them a pic of a huge Rhode Island Red. That normally shuts them up. Lol.

NorthernSpirit · 17/12/2023 10:08

There’s a reason these ‘men’ are single.

Block & remember you have dodged a bullet!

SamW98 · 17/12/2023 10:25

I’ve never been sent a dick pic though I’ve been sent in the bath photos and asked if I want to see more which I’ve always refused

Ive had a naked arse photo - totally unsolicited while I was at work and called a miserable moody drama queen when I said it was inappropriate.

Each to their own but I’ve got zero interest in receiving or sending nudes. If a man doesn’t respect boundaries and take no for an answer, it’s a huge red flag.

mintbiscuit · 17/12/2023 10:38

Christ all fucking mighty. How have we evolved as a society that men think they can send unsolicited photos of their knobs?

This is so grim. Is this really the future of meeting people online?!

Is it not illegal to send these types of pics though?

annaT2122 · 17/12/2023 10:40

mintbiscuit · 17/12/2023 10:38

Christ all fucking mighty. How have we evolved as a society that men think they can send unsolicited photos of their knobs?

This is so grim. Is this really the future of meeting people online?!

Is it not illegal to send these types of pics though?

@mintbiscuit if it isn't, it should be

SamW98 · 17/12/2023 10:50

mintbiscuit · 17/12/2023 10:38

Christ all fucking mighty. How have we evolved as a society that men think they can send unsolicited photos of their knobs?

This is so grim. Is this really the future of meeting people online?!

Is it not illegal to send these types of pics though?

Yes cyber flashing is now a crime and carries maximum 2 years in prison.

Ladolcevita233 · 17/12/2023 10:52

MsRosley · 17/12/2023 09:57

Why do men do it though? Do they seriously believe women appreciate it, or is it just the internet equivalent of flashing?

I think there may be some element of flashing but mostly they really do think women would like to see and will be encouraged by seeing photos of their erections.

They are basically saying, this is what I've got, this is what you'll be having sex with, I can keep it up; are you happy with this/turned on?Etc.

They are trying to escalate the sexual interaction.

They're hoping the woman responds "I love your dick/you're a nice size/you've got me all horned up now/when are you available?" Etc

They genuinely think that's a possibility.

This is partly because they project their reasons for online dating etc onto women ... Which is primarily or exclusively for sex; they think women are on for the same reason - they therefore think it's a good thing to show them their ah .. credentials/equipment and see if they're interested/impressed/turned on, and move towards meeting for sex.

Ladolcevita233 · 17/12/2023 10:58

They project their motivation and their sexuality onto women.

They don't really appreciate the differences in sexuality between the sexes (while it is a spectrum obviously).

I find it very interesting to contrast this with what I know of (male) gay dating/hooking up from gay men I know ....ime, they would not be remotely shocked or taken aback or offended or non plussed in receiving a dick pic. They'd understand the motivation & purpose. They'd generally be welcome.

In some ways I think way more men than women are very base and basic when it comes to sex.

But I think the fundamental problem is also one of flawed assumptions/projection about why people are on old. Many men tend to be on for sex, and assume women are too - especially on the more hook up -y apps like tinder.

Hence they think overt, bold sexual "demonstrations" and approaches are ok.

I agree with the person who also thinks they project in that - they would be very happy to receive some intimate body pics, and so think the women would be too.

They may also be trying to kick off a reciprocal exchange of intimate body pics by offering theirs first.

Ladolcevita233 · 17/12/2023 11:09

I genuinely don't think the majority of men do it in a "haha I'm going to flash you and get power over you and disrespect you" way ....

They are more like my childhood playmate's little brother who decided I was cute and dropped his trousers in front of very confused (from a family of girls) me. They are rather impressed and obsessed with their dick, and in a very simplistic, base way think females will be too, and want to share.

In adult men, they want to share evidence that they are functional/virile and up for it (literally).

It's a misunderstanding of the male psyche, imho, to assume much of it is aggressive flashing.

Most of them are deluded in thinking it will make getting a shag more likely.

cornishlassy · 17/12/2023 11:10

It's a shame that most men just don't "get" women. I love penises, I love sex, I have a huge sex drive, and would mostly have sex on the first date, BUT...a dick pic screams "player" to me, and even though I would love to see a penis, that is the turn off factor. If he's sending that pic to me, and we haven't even met, he's sending it to anyone and everyone. Huge, huge turn off.

Haffiana · 17/12/2023 11:12

The real problem is the women who respond to these.

The women who think this is a normal part of dating, the women who have convinced themselves that they like it. The women who are so brainwashed into a male-centric, pornified view of sex that they are flattered and feel desired to receive one. The women who are so deprived of connection with their own actual, personal female sexuality that they only know how to be turned on by what a man tells them is sexy.

Ladolcevita233 · 17/12/2023 11:14

cornishlassy · 17/12/2023 11:10

It's a shame that most men just don't "get" women. I love penises, I love sex, I have a huge sex drive, and would mostly have sex on the first date, BUT...a dick pic screams "player" to me, and even though I would love to see a penis, that is the turn off factor. If he's sending that pic to me, and we haven't even met, he's sending it to anyone and everyone. Huge, huge turn off.

Same for me.

Sent in the context of a relationship, fwb etc - potentially a turn on.

Sent by a stranger - he does this to every woman, it's too soon, turn off.

(Although I have made the mistake of watching porn and am now conditioned to expect porn sized dicks and any dick pic would probably have me thinking "is that it?".
So apparently porn ruins women as well as men).