How often do you have sex?

[Mothersmith89]

I want some honest answers here. because me and my husband have been together 15 years and for the past 6 years have had sex probably roughly 4 times a year. Im still young (34) I’m really struggling but I don’t want it with him anymore. Apart from that our relationship is good. Please help : (

ps - we openly talk about it. We know it’s a problem. Or is it?

Do tell? X

I’m 56 and feel as horny as hell, but I’m on testosterone as part of my HRT regime. We have been together since I was 16 and sex is great, although I do get relegated to the spare bed sometimes to give him a rest 😋

I’ve started to wonder how many years my testosterone has been low as I have never felt as bold and sexualised as I am currently, it’s liberating. I have been prescribed Tramadol for approximately 15years and I found out that this reduces testosterone levels. Perhaps it’s worth having your levels checked? It’s worth a try.

With anyone or just with DH?

Varies massively. Ebbs and flows. I'm 36 and he's 51. Married for 10 years with 3 children.
Most we would have it would be every other day.. least would be once a month.
Just goes through phases. Dependant on what's going on work and child wise.
I get a bit sad when it goes down to once a month but its usually coz we are both exhausted so I might think I'd like more in theory but I wouldn't actually have the energy to initiate more tbh.
We are very physically affectionate all the time regardless

I think we are at 6 years now.

Started because of medical issues relating to endometriosis, then surgery and after surgery just not wanting to, add in covid, peri menopause and my DH now having ED issues I'm not sure on the solution. But it's not really mentioned or discussed now. We are late 40s so something needs to happen!

I do find it’s a case of the more you do, the more you want. So maybe diarise it or just a cuddle etc and see where it leads .

Every couple of weeks. We are late thirties and have a three year old. We have spoken about it and we are ok about it but if we had more time to ourselves we would do it more. We used to be morning or afternoon people but having a three year old restricts us to night time only and I am ready for bed a nine!

Probably 2 or 3, occasionally 4 times during a weekend but rarely during the week due to working hours and other commitments. Without regular sex l would be crawling up the wall.

How was sex for you before marriage and with others?

OP, l’m not clear whether it’s a case of you not wanting him because you don’t feel attracted to him or other reasons. Are you using hormonal contraception?

Late 30s together 21 years 4 children, it’s 1-2 times per week. I’m at a point I wouldn’t care if I never had it ever again ! However my husband looks for it daily and I just cannot bare it ! I see it as another chore.

Varies hugely for us (41 and 43). Has been once every 4-8 weeks for years (even once in 5 months earlier this year!) but currently 1-3 times a week. My DH has a lower sex drive than me. 5 months without nearly killed me.

In our mid 30's, together 5 years, engaged and have 1 DSD, 10. Both work full time.

We average once per week if we are talking about actual sex, that goes up to about 2-3 times a week if we are including oral in this as well. I enjoy that more tbh and always have done. I'm happy with our sex life. We have quite a physical relationship though otherwise e.g. cuddles in bed/sofa, kisses so I always feel wanted even if we have a dry week. I think the latter is almost more important.

In our 30s, married. Big family with teen and a newborn in the house. 3 or 4 times a week. Sometimes more sometimes less. But on average 3 to 4 times.

40 in 2 months. 3 children, married 21 years. Roughly 1-2 times a week. Usually once depending on time of month.

Both 30's, 2-3 times a week. Been together 9 years.

Had a period where it slowed down to 2-3 times a month for about 6 months in covid times during a difficult phase in our relationship. I wouldn't go back to that, slippery slope to becoming friends.

We do "book in" though which dosnt appeal to everyone but works really well for us. Have a general chat and say "fancy it Tuesday and Saturday this week? Awh no I'm out Friday so might feel hungover, okay Tuesday Friday Sunday? Yeah perfect."

It sounds crazy but it works and I find we make it more of a priority.

Late 30s together 2 1/2 years.
Generally once a week. I'd bloody love more as I have a really high sex drive but he is on medication which has noticeable flattened his libido, plus works like a dog and is absolutely exhausted a lot of the time. We are affectionate though.

we're mid and late 40's, 2 teenagers and a 10 year old. usually once a week, sometimes twice. by the time the kids have gone to bed we're usually done for, but he works from home and she has two days off, so we're in a good spell for morning sex after the school run or lunchtime.

Both mid 30's. Been together almost 3 years with a 2 month old. Atm, sex is a couple of times a week. When we aren't too exhausted normally.

I am 54 and have been married 32 years. We have sex every 1-2 weeks.It went from daily early on to a couple of times a week, then weekly and now often 2 weeks but rarely more than that.

Mid 50s, been with DP for 7 years and usually 2-3 times a week. Sometimes more, rarely less.

This relationship has been something of a revelation for both of us! With XH2 I used to avoid it as much as possible and it would only happen about once a month.