Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Partner on fab swingers

91 replies

Nomorebagels · 12/12/2023 09:01

We have been together for nearly 9 years and I found out last night he’s been on fab swingers. I have safe search on my internet and it won’t let me access fab swingers. I’m assuming it’s for hook ups? Or could he be using it as porn? I probably sound stupidly naive but he has never been away anywhere where I don’t know where he is. He works from home and he’s literally never anywhere. Am I stupid? I threw him out when I found out. I feel like black is white. Totally never saw this coming. He’s really vanilla sex wise. I just don’t know what to think. I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone IRL. Please help me

OP posts:
Rooroobear · 05/08/2024 22:05

You can cam on fab as well…..you have to pay to be able to access it though

Original poster
Nomorebagels · 07/08/2024 08:59

Update: he’s back on there. Naked pix the lot. Rejoined in July. I confronted him and he admits he has had ‘interactions’ with women but not irl. Devastated. He’s just thrown nine years together away. He put it down to ‘a mid life crisis.’

OP posts:
Original poster
Nomorebagels · 07/08/2024 09:00

He advertised himself as looking for no strings sex with women aged 18 to 75!!! Wtf?!

OP posts:
PansyPolly · 07/08/2024 09:29

Ah, sorry to hear that, @Nomorebagels

Rooroobear · 07/08/2024 09:45

Im so sorry. These apps make it so easy to cheat. There are also lots of women on there who ask for married or taken men. It’s gross, but hey, morals mean nothing to most nowadays. Does he realise that it’s cheating straight away by even joining? Doesn’t matter one bit that he just spoke to them and has done nothing with them! The shit some of these men try to feed us. The intent was there. End of. Hope you’ll be ok x

Original poster
Nomorebagels · 07/08/2024 09:50

Rooroobear · 07/08/2024 09:45

Im so sorry. These apps make it so easy to cheat. There are also lots of women on there who ask for married or taken men. It’s gross, but hey, morals mean nothing to most nowadays. Does he realise that it’s cheating straight away by even joining? Doesn’t matter one bit that he just spoke to them and has done nothing with them! The shit some of these men try to feed us. The intent was there. End of. Hope you’ll be ok x

He does realise it’s cheating. I came home unexpectedly about two weeks ago and he was wearing just underpants. Claimed he was going for a shower but just got dressed instead. He’d clearly been webcamming some woman now with hindsight as he was acting really shifty. He has taken his profile down now but he claimed to be into all kinds of sex stuff he’s shown no interest in with me.

OP posts:
Sinderalla · 07/08/2024 10:02

@PansyPolly
Is this not the site that registers who you have met?
Your likes & dislikes etc?

My ex friend is on one, she told me that, she met a lad that had met with a man and wife to be the third.
That went on his profile.

She also came across several married men we knew 😳

The site only works on wifi for security

Rooroobear · 07/08/2024 10:09

Sinderalla · 07/08/2024 10:02

@PansyPolly
Is this not the site that registers who you have met?
Your likes & dislikes etc?

My ex friend is on one, she told me that, she met a lad that had met with a man and wife to be the third.
That went on his profile.

She also came across several married men we knew 😳

The site only works on wifi for security

You can get verifications. You don’t need to display them though. It’s personal preference. Most people have them on as it shows they are who they say they are but it’s not a requirement to have them showing. I don’t have mine showing

Rooroobear · 07/08/2024 10:12

Nomorebagels · 07/08/2024 09:50

He does realise it’s cheating. I came home unexpectedly about two weeks ago and he was wearing just underpants. Claimed he was going for a shower but just got dressed instead. He’d clearly been webcamming some woman now with hindsight as he was acting really shifty. He has taken his profile down now but he claimed to be into all kinds of sex stuff he’s shown no interest in with me.

Show quote history

It’s a proper horrible site too. I only stay because there are some sound…very single…men on there. I go to great lengths to look up guys before meeting. You can be anyone you want to be on there and into anything and everything. Some things you will have never thought was a thing. I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope you see you deserve so so much better x

Gettingbysomehow · 07/08/2024 10:13

My ex H did this and that was us done. I realised he wasn't a proper grown up man despite being In his 40's.

Original poster
Nomorebagels · 07/08/2024 10:27

Gettingbysomehow · 07/08/2024 10:13

My ex H did this and that was us done. I realised he wasn't a proper grown up man despite being In his 40's.

He’s 57. I feel like I never knew him. Shattered. Can you ever trust a man? Not in my long experience! I feel too embarrassed to tell anyone irl what he’s done.

OP posts:
PansyPolly · 07/08/2024 13:21

@Sinderalla I am not sure of the point of your post to me. People on fab can have a full profile with pics, likes, verifications etc, or they can have a blank profile. Fab doesn’t “register who you have met” though the users might do so by posting verifications

Original poster
Nomorebagels · 07/08/2024 17:28

Rooroobear · 07/08/2024 10:12

It’s a proper horrible site too. I only stay because there are some sound…very single…men on there. I go to great lengths to look up guys before meeting. You can be anyone you want to be on there and into anything and everything. Some things you will have never thought was a thing. I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope you see you deserve so so much better x

Show quote history

Thank you for this. I feel awful. Such a mug. I keep reading your comment about deserving better because he has, over the years I realise, made me doubt this. But I know you are right.

OP posts:
Rooroobear · 07/08/2024 20:03

Nomorebagels · 07/08/2024 17:28

Thank you for this. I feel awful. Such a mug. I keep reading your comment about deserving better because he has, over the years I realise, made me doubt this. But I know you are right.

Show quote history

Don’t ever feel any guilt over his behaviour. This is all on him, you don’t make him do any of this, it was his choice! No one deserves to be treated like that. There are far far too many awful men out there and they get away with it because sometimes women think they can’t live without them, how much of a great person they are (absolute load of bs) Take control of the narrative, onwards and upwards. Head held high, tell people the real reason why, no embarrassment because that’s on him. You got this x

User364837 · 07/08/2024 20:05

Is fabswingers the one where people get reviews and ratings?

PansyPolly · 07/08/2024 20:35

User364837 · 07/08/2024 20:05

Is fabswingers the one where people get reviews and ratings?

Read the thread - there is quite a lot of background on Fab included here.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page