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Original poster

Should I report to social services

108 replies

Worriedforthemall · 12/12/2023 07:53

My neighbour is a single dad to 2 young children and 1 has special needs. He seems pleasant but quiet when I speak to him occasionally in passing. Unfortunately I do hear him shouting at the children a lot and I also smell cannabis from the house, it seems smoking it inside also. I had a parcel to give to him yesterday and when I went to hand it in next door I got a glimpse into the house and it looked in an awful state. I noticed that the children look a bit unkempt- hair, etc ...and the older one recently has these awful cuts around his mouth. Both very pale kids and now I think about it, I don't see him taking them out much, except for school.

I don't want to cause any trouble for anyone, but I find myself worrying for them all.

OP posts:
Awwwwooooga · 12/12/2023 22:54

I’m a social worker OP and you 100% did the right thing. It’s Children’s Services job to investigate worries, no need for people to try doing it themselves. Always better to call it in and Children’s Services to find nothing, than to not do so and something bad to happen. We have to learn from cases likes Arthur Labinjo-Hughes

Teaandtoast12 · 12/12/2023 22:59

Definitely did the right thing! I always remember the story where they say sometimes lots of people know a little bit but when it’s put together it reveals a whole story and of course it could be nothing but it might even be they just direct him to some more support

ItsTimeToWrite · 12/12/2023 23:10

God this breaks my heart reading this.

Op you absolutely did the right thing. I hope the family can get some support and have a happier life.

Sweetnessandbite · 12/12/2023 23:40

Op you 100% did the right thing. If you don't see any changes in a month, report again.

PosyPrettyToes · 12/12/2023 23:45

Is the one with SEN the one with cuts round his mouth? I ask because a lot of children with SEN seek sensory feedback by putting things in their mouths so it’s not uncommon.

OldChinaJug · 13/12/2023 07:23

Elvanseshortage · 12/12/2023 08:33

@ChateauDuMont why would OP report to the school? Schools are for teaching and learning, they are not a branch of the police or social services. Staff work flat out on teaching and learning. Why would you add to their workload by getting them to do something extra that you could do for yourself? Call SS yourself. It’s possible the school have already reported their concerns and your call will add to the picture enough to get SS to act.

Nowadays, a school's primary role is safeguarding. We have it drummed into us that keeping children safe is our priority, and we are vigilant about signs of abuse and distress generally and jist sognsnthat things aren't generally as they should be. In many cases, a lot of families are just struggling and would fall outside of SS's remit but, as we see the children every day and have relationships with the families, there are things we can do 'in house' to support.

We've had members of the public call us with concerns in the past when they've recognised the school uniform.

It obviously depends on how good the school is (my current school is very good and proactive) but I would always say contact the school. They will most likely already be aware but will appreciate the contact and won't think of you as being interfering or wonder why you've told them.

It's true that we are overstretched in this capacity but we would rather know than not so we can support the children.

Original poster
Worriedforthemall · 13/12/2023 07:27

PosyPrettyToes · 12/12/2023 23:45

Is the one with SEN the one with cuts round his mouth? I ask because a lot of children with SEN seek sensory feedback by putting things in their mouths so it’s not uncommon.

No it's the older one. It looks really sore too.

OP posts:
Elmo230885 · 13/12/2023 07:36

Hi ( sorry I haven't had time to read the whole thread ). This may have been said but every school in the UK will have a designated safeguarding lead (DSL) who is a point of contact for parents. I am DSL for my workplace (not a school) and have also reported concerns to my DC's school DSL. It may be that the school already have concerns and a separate party reporting issues may strengthen a case to support this family.

Throughout my career I have supported many families with high needs family members and it is heartbreaking hearing their reasons for avoid help through fear or hearing them recount previous experiences with services. There is a good chance that the Dad is just trying to muddle through but there's always a chance that something more serious is going on.

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