Haven't seen my boyfriend in three months?

[Lulie77777]

Hi Everyone

A bit of backstory for you, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years. He has always been a bit emotionally reserved, which I put down to his father being a bit toxically masculine and restricting the emotions his sons were allowed to express...

Anyway, he works in a very busy and stressful job and our schedules are often opposites because he works nights. We always found time to see each other at least once a week, though.

It's now been three months that we haven't seen each other. He texts me everyday, but every time we arrange to meet now he says he's had to work late or something has come up, but he still continues to text. I never text him first, it's always him reaching out.

He claims everything is fine between us, but I'm not finding this fine. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm stuck in limbo. Are we together or aren't we? It's a conversation I want to have in person given our history but it seems we are never going to see each other.

I really love him, what do I do?

Thanks x

I don't think you are together anymore.

I think you need to ring him!

This isn’t a relationship and I doubt very much you are still his girlfriend. Sorry OP.

Sounds married. Why have you wasted 7 years on this?

Yeah if he can't arrange to FaceTime or even meet for an hour, it would be over for me and I wouldn't have been questioning it for three whole months.

I'd send him a text.

"I have really enjoyed the past 7 years together, but since we haven't saw each other in three months it's best we call time on our relationship. I'm sorry I have had to do this via text, however I have been left with no choice. I wish you nothing but luck for the future"

Block.

😂

Do you live a long way away from him?

I must admit it does sound as though he's got other commitments.

Christ my husband and I lived in different countries for a year and still managed to see eachother more often than this.

After 7 years this is ridiculous. You must be so far down his priorities list.

Are you in the same town or city? Once a week for 7 years with the relationship never progressing is a bit odd
did you never want more? Like to move in? It just have 2 nights a week..

if you live within 2 hours of each other I don’t believe you haven’t had 30 mins avail at the same time in 3 months, so he’s not up for the effort

how sure are you that he’s single?

Ask to meet up within the next few days, and tell him that if he can't spare you a few minutes of his time to discuss things, you will assume it's over.

Why drag it out for another couple of years? He just wants to see how low she will go. She's tolerated seven years of one day a week. Will she allow 3 month breaks with total silence while he's in France with his wife and kids, and he can waltz back? He'll apologize. Cry, maybe. And OP will be drawn back in.

OP knows the guy doesn't give a shit about her.

Depending on OP's age and whether she wants them, she could be wasting time to have a commited relationship and bio children of her own.

That's utterly ridiculous - this isn't a relationship!

Have you ever met his family or friends?

He sounds married.

Meet up in real life face to face asap and discuss your relationship or I'd suggest it's already a dead duck in the water.

I appreciate he's initiating the texts but maybe that's to ensure you're 'safely distant' if he's busy with someone else or ditto if he's decided the relationship is over but hasn't found the guts to tell you yet.

Do you know where he works and where he lives? Because honestly, if a man insists we are still 'together' but I haven't seen my him in 3 months, I'm going round to his place to ask some questions. I'm gobsmacked that you haven't done so. Why not??

I wouldn't be calling him a boyfriend, acquaintance maybe.

He wants you to do the 'break up' talk maybe? Cowardly behaviour if that is the case though.

I think you might find he has a new girlfriend now.

Do you know where he lives?
Drive past and see if he has a new relationship?

This is not a relationship. If he wanted to be with you he would make it happen.

You saw each other once a week, yep does sound like he’s got other commitments.

This isn’t a relationship, he’s not your boyfriend and you deserve better than this!

How far apart do you live?

Tbh, if I hadn't seen my 'boyfriend' in 3 months, I'd assume it was over and proceed accordingly. I wouldn't have let it get to 3 months either.

7 years? Do you not want something more? Call it a day and move on to someone who has time for you and willing to make commitments.
Whether he’s married or not, he’s far too busy and it’s definitely not working here.

I would have given up on this a long time ago! Of course you are not in a relationship.