Haven't seen my boyfriend in three months?

[Lulie77777]

Hi Everyone

A bit of backstory for you, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years. He has always been a bit emotionally reserved, which I put down to his father being a bit toxically masculine and restricting the emotions his sons were allowed to express...

Anyway, he works in a very busy and stressful job and our schedules are often opposites because he works nights. We always found time to see each other at least once a week, though.

It's now been three months that we haven't seen each other. He texts me everyday, but every time we arrange to meet now he says he's had to work late or something has come up, but he still continues to text. I never text him first, it's always him reaching out.

He claims everything is fine between us, but I'm not finding this fine. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm stuck in limbo. Are we together or aren't we? It's a conversation I want to have in person given our history but it seems we are never going to see each other.

I really love him, what do I do?

Thanks x

I'm sorry but this relationship is over.
If he really loved you and really wanted to see you he would have found time in 3 months to do so.
How far apart do you live? What's his job? What was the relationship like before?

It sounds to me as though you've been kind of a stop-gap girlfriend. 7 years is a long time seeing each other once a week and the relationship not progressing or developing in any way. Perhaps he has enjoyed the time with you but he wasn't really serious and has now met someone else and now doesn't know how to tell you.

I would have phoned him up by now and said "look bf, this isn't working. We've not seen each other in 3 months and that isn't enough for me. What's going on?"

Sorry OP but this is so strange. I think he is ghosting you or wants you to end the relationship

It really isn’t “judgemental” to point out that, if your contact has gone from once a week to less than once a quarter (with no chance in location/circumstances ), it’s well and truly over.

I've just seen all your other posts re TTC.
Are you still expecting to have a baby with this guy?

Have you ever been to his house, OP? Have you met his family and friends and does he often leave late at night rather than stay the night?

Can't conceive if not seen for three months. Oh dear.
OP are young young and he married?

Yep, with big Christmas bells on. You will feel a lot better once you have control of your life back and are no longer wasting it worrying about what he's thinking and doing.

The only time I acted like this towards a boyfriend was when I felt stifled by them and wanted to be single but didn’t have the guts to break up with him. I feel awful about it now. No healthy or happy relationship is like this - I’d break up with him and move on. He’s leaving you hanging on but you’re not together and the end is nigh anyway. It seems like one of those cases of ‘he’s just not that into you’. Sorry. I know it must be horrible.

You haven’t seen him for three months??!?
i bet he’s married.
This isn’t a relationship anymore OP.

It has been more than a day and @Lulie77777 has not returned after her OP...

Honestly. This is what they all do

I’d be even more direct and pop over unannounced for a’ surprise visit’ for the day 😀 I’d turn up at 10am and then again in the evening when he supposedly works. If he’s your boyfriend he’d be thrilled to see you! (Even unexpectedly 😉) Also you may discover turning up unannounced tells you more about this situation and guy than you could ever have expected…

7 years and your asking on here? Ring him. And after seven years, surely you should be referring to him as your partner?
this doesn’t sound like a normal situation

My guess is mental health issues on his part - the general anxiety, depression, social anxiety, agoraphobia thing so many are struggling with right now. They aspire to or intend to socialize, but the best they can do are texts.

I really don’t think the title she gives him is the issue here…