I wonder if the op will come back. Likely not.
It does make me shudder, that you can be happily getting on with your life, like this couple, and be completely unaware someone, an acquaintance, an old friend is silently watching you, obsessing on you, and wanting to cause you some damage.
the question is why, the op is obviously fantasising this man fancies her. Even knowing the evidence is to the contrary, he never made a move after that, night, never said he wanted to do it again, just made a flippant comment. She’s trying to fool herself into thinking friend or follow requests in the wee small hours are some form of secret love lorn act, that being friendly to her, means that yes, yes she’s the one. And she wants to tell his wife.
what does she want to happen, for the marriage to fall apart? For her to be able to go after him and live this woman’s life?
amd everyone will guess it’s her who did it and pity her. No one will give a shit about a drunken snog as a teen.
does she have a crush on him. Hate her. Both? Is it just jealousy as they have what she doesn’t?
as said, it’s really sinister that you can be getting on with it, and someone is silently sitting obsessing on you.