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Original poster

Ex wants me to go to swingers club, so I'm his bartering chip so he gets off with other women!!!

99 replies

lousyatchoosingnames · 18/11/2023 18:58

Wow, today was the most I have ever been insulted in my life, my ex, who dumped me by text 5 months ago, admitted he hasn't slept with anyone since me. He's on every dating app going! But now he's joined a swinging club and has been going on his own. He contacted me out of the blue today, and after some small talk tried to get me to go to the swingers club with him!!

In the moment I laughed it off and said how sleazy, sounds like my worst nightmare. But all day I've been seething because it's just very clear that he wants me as a bargaining chip so that he can swap for other women!!!

I mean the cheek, it's the most I've ever been insulted in my life. Can anyone top that??

I'm trying hard to not react at all. Part of me wants to rant at him and block him but I'm trying to be more mature than that.

I have nothing to do with him really.

How on earth do I take this insult and transmute the utter audacity of this cretin into a bundle of positive energy????

Help please.....

OP posts:
Original poster
lousyatchoosingnames · 18/11/2023 18:59

Forgot to add, he got no action at the swinging club, because he was on his own, and swingers are usually couples who swap.

OP posts:
SpaceRaiders · 18/11/2023 19:00

You should have blocked him for a start!

Original poster
lousyatchoosingnames · 18/11/2023 19:02

Fair point, I still haven't blocked him but I feel like it's the only thing to do now.

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 18/11/2023 19:06

Block on everything. Set privacy settings on social media to highest setting and be very glad his is an ex

WonderingYonder · 18/11/2023 19:14

The guy is a desperate dick. Nothing to do with you, don't be offended, it just shows how desperate he is, and a looser who can't pull on his own.

OhComeOnFFS · 18/11/2023 19:14

Actually I love the idea of him at a swingers' club and every single person rejecting him.

Mari9999 · 18/11/2023 19:15

@lousyatchoosingnames

So he wants to pimp you out in hoping to get in kind services for himself.

Ignore him , there a some kind of stupid that can't be cured.

spookehtooth · 18/11/2023 19:17

If you wanted to rub his nose in it, then potentially its a shame it isn't your thing. Odds are high that you'll get more offers and he'll just frustrated and annoyed to see this.

Disclaimer: I don't think I'd enjoy it myself so I do understand what you're saying, but I have a mischievous mind sometimes

Onlylonelyontheinside · 18/11/2023 19:22

Sounds like a walking std …. What goes through peoples minds when they think this is acceptable behaviour… just point and laugh at the dickhead

Original poster
lousyatchoosingnames · 18/11/2023 19:22

OhComeOnFFS · 18/11/2023 19:14

Actually I love the idea of him at a swingers' club and every single person rejecting him.

Lol, I did also have a chuckle, I mean it doesn't get any easier to pull does it??

OP posts:
Saschka · 18/11/2023 19:24

Why is he not already blocked?

Unless you share children or a friendship group or something, there’s no need to have ongoing contact with exes.

Original poster
lousyatchoosingnames · 18/11/2023 19:24

spookehtooth · 18/11/2023 19:17

If you wanted to rub his nose in it, then potentially its a shame it isn't your thing. Odds are high that you'll get more offers and he'll just frustrated and annoyed to see this.

Disclaimer: I don't think I'd enjoy it myself so I do understand what you're saying, but I have a mischievous mind sometimes

I see what you mean, but I just wouldn't want that kind of attention anyhow, I just want someone I love to get that side of me.

I'm not against swingers clubs, each to their own, but the fact he wanted me for swapping was so bloody insulting

OP posts:
Original poster
lousyatchoosingnames · 18/11/2023 19:26

Saschka · 18/11/2023 19:24

Why is he not already blocked?

Unless you share children or a friendship group or something, there’s no need to have ongoing contact with exes.

I try to keep on good terms with most people generally, so with exes I try to still be on speaking terms. I'm done with him now though.

OP posts:
Original poster
lousyatchoosingnames · 18/11/2023 19:27

WonderingYonder · 18/11/2023 19:14

The guy is a desperate dick. Nothing to do with you, don't be offended, it just shows how desperate he is, and a looser who can't pull on his own.

It's pretty hard to not be offended.

I've heard of e four agreements, where one of them is never be offended because it's never about you and always about them.

But honestly, the cheek of him!!

OP posts:
ChannelNo19EDT · 18/11/2023 19:27

Wow!! He's hilarious 😂

ChannelNo19EDT · 18/11/2023 19:28

That is true, you are wise to know this cheeky suggestion is nothing to do with you.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 18/11/2023 19:30

lousyatchoosingnames · 18/11/2023 18:59

Forgot to add, he got no action at the swinging club, because he was on his own, and swingers are usually couples who swap.

That’s not actually how it goes at swingers clubs.

Decent single guys, who aren’t part of the wanking dead, who actually speak to people and don’t just assume get plenty action.

He’s not getting nowhere because he doesn’t have a woman with him. He’s just telling himself that.

Shewhobecamethesun · 18/11/2023 19:32

I'd be sorely tempted to agree and spend the entire evening letting him watch me flirt, get loads of attention and see what he missed out on. You don't have to have sex or do anything btw. Well I assume you don't, never having been to one myself

AllTheChaos · 18/11/2023 19:32

@YetMoreNewBeginnings I don’t know if that’s a typo or not, but the phrase “the wanking dead” has just made spit out my tea I was laughing so much!

Starlightstarbright2 · 18/11/2023 19:35

Well
if anything it affirms you are well out of his league .

what a sad desperado..

Original poster
lousyatchoosingnames · 18/11/2023 19:40

That's interesting @YetMoreNewBeginnings

The thing is he is quite good looking and he's really physically fit so I think he's appealing to the eye.

It's probably much more about him being a tit.

I'm thinking that if he had me there, and I'm not a stunner but I am decent looking, he would get more people interested.

OP posts:
LivingWithNarcissist · 18/11/2023 19:41

He was definitely punching above his weight with you. We all make mistakes.
Just laugh at the hilarity of him being rejected by everyone at a swingers party!

TomatoSandwiches · 18/11/2023 19:42

The swingers I know are really very good at sniffing out complete twats ( no pun intended ) and out of my friendship group I would trust their judgement over many others tbh.
I can't believe he had the gall to proposition you like that though, speaks volumes.

Original poster
lousyatchoosingnames · 18/11/2023 19:42

Starlightstarbright2 · 18/11/2023 19:35

Well
if anything it affirms you are well out of his league .

what a sad desperado..

Totally! I was happy to tell him I'd just gone onto a dating app recently and had started dating a guy within 4 days. I can't believe he admitted to me that he hadn't slept with anyone else since we had split, I mean he's on all the Apps!! I did say 'not for want of trying'!!!

OP posts:
Nocturna · 18/11/2023 19:50

In a few days message him and tell him thanks for the suggestion, you went to the swingers club and had an amazingly wild time