Ex wants me to go to swingers club, so I'm his bartering chip so he gets off with other women!!!

[lousyatchoosingnames]

Wow, today was the most I have ever been insulted in my life, my ex, who dumped me by text 5 months ago, admitted he hasn't slept with anyone since me. He's on every dating app going! But now he's joined a swinging club and has been going on his own. He contacted me out of the blue today, and after some small talk tried to get me to go to the swingers club with him!!

In the moment I laughed it off and said how sleazy, sounds like my worst nightmare. But all day I've been seething because it's just very clear that he wants me as a bargaining chip so that he can swap for other women!!!

I mean the cheek, it's the most I've ever been insulted in my life. Can anyone top that??

I'm trying hard to not react at all. Part of me wants to rant at him and block him but I'm trying to be more mature than that.

I have nothing to do with him really.

How on earth do I take this insult and transmute the utter audacity of this cretin into a bundle of positive energy????

Help please.....

Same thing happened to me 25 years ago, he was the immature type who got bored of girlfriends after 6 months. When my time was up he dumped me by text, then the next text he sent was 'I still love your body, do you want to go wife swapping with me' but as this was a while ago 'I saw the most recently sent text first before I saw the one dumping me, I didn't bother replying.

If he’s an attractive guy and he’s getting nowhere then it’s his attitude or behaviour that snookering him.

A couple/pair will always attract attention from solo guys. Couples will also chat to more couples but it’s actually quite difficult to find the multiple attraction needed for a full swap.

He would find the night considerably cheaper taking you with him as most clubs charge solo males a hefty entrance fee, and many clubs have nights where solo males aren’t allowed in.

It’s an actual thing. Guys get very offended by it but it’s accurate 😅

This!

And then block.

He sounds like a delight.....
Damn I'm happily married if he would be the one for me. .
I don't really understand why you don't want to go to a sleazy club to act as bait for an emotionally abusive nassicist. Some women just can't recognise class when they see it.

Lol, he is a narcissist, talks endlessly about himself

@YetMoreNewBeginnings it's very interesting that you say it would be cheaper for him going as a couple. He is also stingy so that could be a reason he reached out too, double whammy if he's paying a fortune and not getting any action, it makes far more sense to have a women in tow. But wow, still so insulting!!

Unbelievable, some guys are seriously immature

Hehe, revenge is a dish best served cold, might keep this suggestion in my back pocket

Gross. Just block him, why are you in still chatting to a guy who dumped you? He sounds vile.

Depending on where in the country it could be up to half the cost. There are some very entitled guys who get very pissed off if they don’t get anywhere, even though clubs make very very clear the cost is for membership and/or entry, not access to other members bodies.

I go to swingers clubs and I’d be bloody insulted so I don’t blame you for being insulted!

Is this how it works in swingers clubs though? Men give their partners to other men in swaps? I would have thought women would have their own choice.

Anyway he sounds pathetic, good thing you are rid of him.

What a noxious bellend, you're well rid.

Swingers clubs are bizarrely non-sleazy. They will throw out any man who misbehaves and the vibe is just cheerful and friendly.

A single woman can have a fabulous time. Single men find it much, much harder going. I do know a few men who go by themselves and have fun. They're not gorgeous but they're very pleasant and friendly and people know and trust them.

Women are pretty much in charge. If they're not having a good time, nobody is having a good time.

It's not hard to sense when a couple isn't happy. People tend to avoid them.

I bet you’ve never wanted him more 🤣

I would have just replied with laughing emojis.

Stop engaging in conversation with him, else he’ll think you still have feelings for him.

I think he wants to have sex with you but he also thinks he’s too good for you and doesn’t want to ask you outright.
He thinks if he can persuade you to go to a sex club, you will end up having sex with him if he can’t get anyone else.

No. That’s how men who don’t understand it think it works.

In reality the women are the ones with the most choices.

I love, love LOVE this suggestion.

And although I get it's insulting (and to you for that), I am also finding his proposition to you hilarious

My ex husband suggested this and we have 2 kids together. Unbelievable. They are not wired the same. He couldn’t even see why I might be offended by it.

I can see why you're insulted - I'd be raging - but try to see the funny side, op! Absolutely no one finds this guy desirable and he can't even get a female friend to go with him, he had to crawl back cap in hand to his ex to beg for this favour.

If a couple want to swing , then as a joint decision , and not hurting anyone , fine .
Your ex , in a way wants to prostitute you , he's basically planning to barter you for a shag .

You're totally right! He was wanting to prostitute me! So insulting .......

Not just me then, another fool out there too

@Lotyt

That last message meant your ex is the fool, not you! I don't think what I wrote was clear x

Yeah, can you imagine me being the last option available if no one at a swingers club is interested in him! Worst position ever!