Ex wants me to go to swingers club, so I'm his bartering chip so he gets off with other women!!!

[lousyatchoosingnames]

Wow, today was the most I have ever been insulted in my life, my ex, who dumped me by text 5 months ago, admitted he hasn't slept with anyone since me. He's on every dating app going! But now he's joined a swinging club and has been going on his own. He contacted me out of the blue today, and after some small talk tried to get me to go to the swingers club with him!!

In the moment I laughed it off and said how sleazy, sounds like my worst nightmare. But all day I've been seething because it's just very clear that he wants me as a bargaining chip so that he can swap for other women!!!

I mean the cheek, it's the most I've ever been insulted in my life. Can anyone top that??

I'm trying hard to not react at all. Part of me wants to rant at him and block him but I'm trying to be more mature than that.

I have nothing to do with him really.

How on earth do I take this insult and transmute the utter audacity of this cretin into a bundle of positive energy????

Help please.....

Amazing 🙈

My exh who committed a catalogue of crimes including making me and his toddler son homeless when he decided the marriage was over...(long story).... And had slept with prostitutes...in OUR BED before we split up....

He has the nerve to message me to ask about places we'd been together so he could take his latest girlfriend (who also did all manner of awful things to me) too.

He also took another girlfriend to the same hotel we went on holiday to....and texted me while he was there! 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻

@peppermintteadrinker I hope you hear as little from him as possible. Maybe block him on phone etc and stick to email for any strictly necessary convo.

@porridgeisbae it's fine. Can't block because of contact with our son but I handle him and don't take any shit. Years have passed since then. He has his own special phone for contact with him which I delight in switching off 😆

But the utter gall of these men! My ex definitely thinks we are mates lol. 🙈 I can still almost feel sorry for him. He's wired up wrong. (Only almost though).

This can’t be real.

@Jl2014 Nothing would surprise me from men.

You could helpfully inform him there are ladies that accept payment for the services he requires, as to be honest it sounds like no one’s prepared to give it to him for free.

Very good point

I know, I probably should ...

Totally real! I thought I would post here though because I was so completely and utterly outraged!

This is some of the text, can't put it all down as identifying factors ...

Lacks a bit of self awareness doesn't he? 😆🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻

If it won't matter in five years, don't think about it for more than five minutes. Like others have said, block on everything and be glad to be rid.

“They were all really friendly, but none of them wanted to fuck me…”

He’s as dim as sin as well because taking along a woman who doesn’t want to be there would absolutely kill his chances of ever having fun because you can always tell (it does happen that you see couples where one wants to be there and the other doesn’t).

He is utterly clueless.

Exactly!

I tell couples who are there for the first time just to sit back and observe. For many, just sitting in the hot tub, naked in front of strangers, is an adventure. They'll go home and have great sex! But they are very often not ready to actually jump into the physical stuff. A lot of clubs have a bar area where you wear clothes and then you disrobe in the locker rooms before going into the "play areas."

Many clubs are very nice, with a lot of thought and creativity put into the rooms to make them amenable to all sorts of scenarios. One in Derby actually has an automobile, next to a camping tent, in one of the rooms. So you can pretend to be doing outside stuff. I howled with laughter when I saw that. They can get very creative with upholstery and windows in these places. A fantastic club near Leeds was owned by a woman in a wheelchair, so accessibility was a key feature.

They really are fun places, if you're interested in safely being able to explore stuff. The couples I've met have generally been older and they seem to be very happily married. Like, they seem to be genuinely IN LOVE with one another.

One time a regular girl brought in a friend who had had too much to drink. Everyone babysat her. If anyone had even tried to get her to go into the play area, they'd have been stopped immediately. She was literally safer there than she would have been at a Wetherspoons.

I haven't been to one in a while and this thread has reminded me of how much fun they were!

She was literally safer there than she would have been at a Wetherspoons

yep. That is very true. Probably the safest, least hassle night out you’ll ever have.

One in Derby actually has an automobile, next to a camping tent, in one of the rooms. So you can pretend to be doing outside stuff.

They have that at Xtasia in Brum. Don't think I realised what it was about. IDK if it was a real car when I saw it a few years ago but apparently they are real now.

One in Derby actually has an automobile, next to a camping tent, in one of the rooms. So you can pretend to be doing outside stuff.

They’re in the middle of moving venue. They had to take down a wall to get the car in so presumably have had to do the same to get it out. Can you imagine just being sat in the sun crane office, minding your own business, and getting the call for that quote? 😅

Can you imagine just being sat in the sun crane office, minding your own business, and getting the call for that quote? 😅

😂 It probably made their day.

I didn't really like the club in Derby. They had too many single men and were struggling to control them. I like there to be some extra men there, but they weren't picky - they just took their money and then had to keep telling them off for being too pushy and intrusive.

@AgingDisgracefullyHere That is bad. I didn't really experience that in Xtasia. Not many single blokes and the few there were ok.

I have been to several around the country. I don't like clubs that allow people to wear street clothes throughout the entire building. Everyone has to "dress down" so we're all on even ground! But I appreciate a bar area that you can wear clothes.

Chameleons near Birmingham was very good, as was the one near Leeds. I forget the name of it.

The Attic is different to most clubs in that it’s not been members or guest list only and it’s not as expensive as many of the others.

That said they are ruthless with people that they have to kick out - if you get kicked out then that’s you for good.

The council have licensed their new venue on a membership basis so I think it’ll change the atmosphere considerably.

Was the one in Leeds Pandoras?

Chameleons is the one that I’d recommend to any woman going solo.

don't like clubs that allow people to wear street clothes throughout the entire building. Everyone has to "dress down" so we're all on even ground! But I appreciate a bar area that you can wear clothes.

Xtasia has some normal dress nights and some dressy nights each week. There are also some events where people go all out.

Of course you don't have to dress down if some people do that somewhere.

Not Pandoras! The other one! I never went to Pandoras.