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Original poster

Ghosted for that?

97 replies

Swedishfish999 · 16/11/2023 17:26

Sorry to post I’m just sick of questioning my self worth so would like some opinions if poss plz

I was talking to someone for a month, we had met btw the energy was so great it freaked me out a little bit at first. I left early from our job and I was waiting for him to return, we were talking all the while, and planned to meet back up (we still live in different countries but it's only an hour flight which I was excited to make). The morning after he got back I genuinely accidentally ufollowed him (and a female friend too actually) on Instagram as I was whizzing down tapping away unfollowing people. as quick as it came up I'd unfollowed i refollowed and didn't message him because I thought it wouldn't be a big deal however I didn't hear from him so I started to panic and sent a sorry about that message two days later and since then, l've been left on seen. It’s been 4 WEEKS! He went almost silent on instagram for 2 weeks (I went silent also because I didn’t want to post purely to try and get a reaction out of him) If that was the other way round I wouldn't just been like haha have you only just followed me "has it made him angry? sad? Bruised his ego? Made him think "so I've been hyping you up and you didn't even follow me"

Does it really warrant him ghosting me so coldly I like him sooooo much why would I risk doing that AND…if he was THAT mad why didn't he just unfollow me? when we stopped speaking I deleted my WhatsApp messages on the chat because it hurt too much reading them back💔I'm not hurting as much as I was but it's still constantly niggling away at me And I know it's silly to read into the story viewing but the day before this happened and all the other days he was always first viewer replying, seeing a picture on insta then going over to WhatsApp and messaging "you really are so beautiful" etc since he's barely viewed (i think im muted as he seems to only view them if he’s got a story up and i view it) them so he must've made a conscious effort to not look for some reason? Ugh can't help but feel in my gut I've ruined something that might've been good Can I have some opinions on this plz?

also I know it’s really shallow and stupid but I can’t help but think will he now think I’m ugly 🥹🤍🥹

so to cut a long story short would you ghost someone for accidently unfollowing you or would you be an adult and reply. Should also add he has majorrrrr trust issues so he probably thought it was a lie xx

OP posts:
HamsterBanana · 16/11/2023 17:34

Doesn't sound like it's anything to do with that. Sounds like he got what he wanted and that was that.

Original poster
Swedishfish999 · 16/11/2023 17:37

I didn’t do anything with him, just kissed😂😂🩷

OP posts:
MonsteraMama · 16/11/2023 17:38

I don't think worrying about why he ghosted you matters all that much.

Whatever the reason, he's ghosted. He's an immature prick, you've dodged a bullet and can now move on and find a grown up to date.

wited · 16/11/2023 17:43

I don't think he felt the same

BackAgainstWall · 16/11/2023 17:44

Anyone that can ghost that quickly for whatever reason, is a big coward and/or has got some kind of issue(s).

SamW98 · 16/11/2023 17:45

Social media is a curse as everyone knows what each other is doing.

Hes obviously not interested and is taking cowards way out.

Delete block move on

DatingDinosaur · 16/11/2023 18:02

Sorry, going against the grain here.

Even though you know it was accidental, to him, it could look like you’re playing some sort of head game with him. Unfollow. Re-follow. Then take a couple of days to apologise/explain what happened, which also could look like it’s part of some bigger game plan from you – you didn’t get the attention you wanted so you send him a message – that kind of thing.

I can understand why he might ghost you if he was thinking along those lines. I couldn’t be arsed with it either and would probably do the same. So I guess that makes me a child too [shrugs]

I know what happened makes sense in your head and I can understand where you are coming from because you’ve explained what happened in your post. But he’s not a mind-reader, and most blokes don't want high drama, which is how what's happened comes across as, to me.

something2say · 16/11/2023 18:02

Aww I am sorry, it's so hurtful isn't it?

At the very least, if he noticed that you accidentally unfollowed him and then refollowed him, and he cared, he should have asked you what was going on like an adult. 'Hey what was that all about?? Oh right, no worries x' sort of thing. It may be instead that he somehow used that as an opportunity to ghost you, after a month of intense comms and meeting up etc.

I am sorry. I have been through this. You never really know the truth in the end, you're just left with the fact that they have gone. BUT one thing I have learned in life is that life will remove what isn't right for you (or the other person), and life seems to have removed this guy from your life and we don't really know why. Therefore I would advise you to just let it be, and say goodbye, and let it go and grieve what could have been, and then consciously move on.

It makes a girl learn not to over invest as well, until they prove themselves. And THEY start to be the ones that fly to YOU because they like YOU so much x THAT is your ideal partner, that is what you are looking for x not this, someone who just does a disappearing act. Not good enough x

something2say · 16/11/2023 18:03

He is in fact a 'buyer beware' sort of boyfriend. You could have him if yo wanted to, but really? A guy like this? You can do better.

TookTheBook · 16/11/2023 18:16

Are you 12?

If you're in fact an adult, move on and have an adult relationship. Stop trying to fuel drama online and communicate properly instead.

Original poster
Swedishfish999 · 16/11/2023 18:29

Yes I think he does have issues I had a gut feeling he was quite depressed deep dow as he had this job a year longer than me and he said it had changed him for the worst because he could no longer trust girls! A few night into knowing him he was screaming in my face asking if I kissed someone (I didnt) and asking me if back home if I speak to new guys EVERYDAY! I was like huh? He said his ex hurt him badly so he can’t trust anymore hmmm. It’s sad he was starting every interaction we had right until the accidental unfollow 🥹

OP posts:
Original poster
Swedishfish999 · 16/11/2023 18:31

Rude. Have you ever been ghosted it’s my first time and it is like being stabbed in the heart and you question every aspect of yourself

OP posts:
Original poster
Swedishfish999 · 16/11/2023 18:35

No no I actually completely agree with you, I truly feel this so strongly in my gut this is why which is why it’s so hard to “let go” because truly he was really nice to me, the energy between us freaked us BOTH out a little bit in the beginning it was like we were supposed to meet 💔💔💔💔💔. I stupidly listened to my friends on messaging him one said don’t bother then when my other one told me to I did, days later. I hope he comes back one day 💔

OP posts:
Original poster
Swedishfish999 · 16/11/2023 18:40

Yes I felt SO embarrassed I unfollowed I could’ve left it like that as his account was public but I genuinely didn’t mean to do it so I just followed back and have subsequently ruined it 🥹 another poster said it could look like a game from my side which I’ve worried about and I know, knowing his character he would’ve thought that so it’s rather rubbish. I just wish he would pop up.

it hurts so so much he posted a story yesterday after a while and it just made me feel awful again I miss him a lot and now being off season would’ve been the time we would’ve got to properly know each other, just so sad 💔

thank you for your reply, really lovely of you x

OP posts:
SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 16/11/2023 18:43

he sounds truly awful. Spend the time wondering why you didnt block him.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 16/11/2023 18:50

You've had a lucky, lucky escape

MariaLuna · 16/11/2023 18:55

A few night into knowing him he was screaming in my face asking if I kissed someone (I didnt) and asking me if back home if I speak to new guys EVERYDAY!

My god woman, you certainly dodged a bullet there!

Dust yourself off, pick yourself up and be thankful you've had a lucky escape and bin him.

NO man should be treating a woman like that.

MariaLuna · 16/11/2023 18:56

He needs therapy, not dumping his shit on innocent bystanders.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 16/11/2023 18:57

"A few night into knowing him he was screaming in my face asking if I kissed someone (I didnt) and asking me if back home if I speak to new guys EVERYDAY!"

He was screaming in your face after a few days? Accusing you of chasing new guys every day.

Why would you want to get back together with someone who behaves as if they own you and screams accusations in your face?

Original poster
Swedishfish999 · 16/11/2023 19:02

Yes he wouldn’t come to a club with us (he was sulking) so I went with all of our colleagues (one of whom did want to “get” with me but I literally stood and said “no, I like you know that”. Another colleague told Casper I’d “ended my night” with him!!! I didn’t I literally hugged him and went to bed so he woke me up shouting the. Next evening when he went out saying tell me I said I didn’t but was still saying just be honest I won’t be mad . I knew then he probably had issues but I stupidly thought “it’s because he’s had girls hurt him which I won’t do, I’ll fix that” makes it so sad because I truly would’ve tried too (call me crazy I know 🥹)

OP posts:
MaliciaKeys · 16/11/2023 19:05

You've definitely dodged a bullet my love, he sounds awful. His ghosting is nothing to do with your accidental unfollow on Insta. He sounds childish and needy. You can do better than this. Don't beat yourself up about it, congratulate yourself on being free to find a man who deserves you.

BranchGold · 16/11/2023 19:18

Are you very young? Is this your formative relationship years?

Original poster
Swedishfish999 · 16/11/2023 19:24

No I’m 27 he’s 28 I have my own home he lives with his parents and I was in a relationship from 19 til the end of last year. His ex is 21. I was supposed to be spending this year healing so he was not supposed to happen and it hit me like a tonne of bricks that I felt probably more connection with him than my ex I know it’s crazy but can’t help that.

OP posts:
IMustDoMoreExercise · 16/11/2023 19:32

BackAgainstWall · 16/11/2023 17:44

Anyone that can ghost that quickly for whatever reason, is a big coward and/or has got some kind of issue(s).

Exactly. You had a very lucky escape.

Much better now than years down the line.

Mehmeh22 · 16/11/2023 19:40

Yeah, you dodged a bullet and you need to just stay single for a while to fully know what you want. This situation has hit hard because it is the first proper thing you have had after breaking up from a long term relationship. You can do better.