Ghosted for that?

[Swedishfish999]

Sorry to post I’m just sick of questioning my self worth so would like some opinions if poss plz

I was talking to someone for a month, we had met btw the energy was so great it freaked me out a little bit at first. I left early from our job and I was waiting for him to return, we were talking all the while, and planned to meet back up (we still live in different countries but it's only an hour flight which I was excited to make). The morning after he got back I genuinely accidentally ufollowed him (and a female friend too actually) on Instagram as I was whizzing down tapping away unfollowing people. as quick as it came up I'd unfollowed i refollowed and didn't message him because I thought it wouldn't be a big deal however I didn't hear from him so I started to panic and sent a sorry about that message two days later and since then, l've been left on seen. It’s been 4 WEEKS! He went almost silent on instagram for 2 weeks (I went silent also because I didn’t want to post purely to try and get a reaction out of him) If that was the other way round I wouldn't just been like haha have you only just followed me "has it made him angry? sad? Bruised his ego? Made him think "so I've been hyping you up and you didn't even follow me"

Does it really warrant him ghosting me so coldly I like him sooooo much why would I risk doing that AND…if he was THAT mad why didn't he just unfollow me? when we stopped speaking I deleted my WhatsApp messages on the chat because it hurt too much reading them back💔I'm not hurting as much as I was but it's still constantly niggling away at me And I know it's silly to read into the story viewing but the day before this happened and all the other days he was always first viewer replying, seeing a picture on insta then going over to WhatsApp and messaging "you really are so beautiful" etc since he's barely viewed (i think im muted as he seems to only view them if he’s got a story up and i view it) them so he must've made a conscious effort to not look for some reason? Ugh can't help but feel in my gut I've ruined something that might've been good Can I have some opinions on this plz?

also I know it’s really shallow and stupid but I can’t help but think will he now think I’m ugly 🥹🤍🥹

so to cut a long story short would you ghost someone for accidently unfollowing you or would you be an adult and reply. Should also add he has majorrrrr trust issues so he probably thought it was a lie xx

He screamed in your face.

He screamed. In your face.

Why the hell would you ever agree to see him again after that? Come on OP, you have to know better than that. If a man screams in your face after a couple of days, what's he likely to do after a month, a year?

This wasn't a red flag, it was a huge honking neon flashing light shouting "This man is dangerous". Ask yourself why you couldn't see that?

The rubbish has taken itself out.

Please stay away from this man. It was never meant to be, he has massive trust issues and an extremely low opinion of all women. That is never going to go away, and you can't fix it.

Having good boundaries and getting dropped because of them is the good thing. It means the people doing the dropping arent worth your time. Lowering your standards means you get the dregs.

@SusanKennedyshouldLTB Years ago I really fancied a colleague. We went out on a leaving party and were in a club and dancing and he asked me to go back to his place and he wanted to get between my thighs. I said no because it felt yukky. I was 22 and just started my training there he was qualified and about 30. I told myself off and even wrote in my diary in capitals STEVE ROBINSON WANTED TO GO TO BED WITH ME AND I SAID NO!!!!! I thought I'd lost out but see I was actually doing myself a favour. +Names changed to protect the guilty)

Guys as we’ve established I don’t really have boundaries please could you help me on this, 2 nights ago I got super upset over this guy and cried to my friend who told me it was all down to doing the accidental unfollow and that’s that. The ghost doesn’t see my stuff unless I see his stuff and then he will look. Yesterday I met her and my other friends we were sat in a restaurant and I saw she’d followed him and he’d followed back. I said why have you don’t that surely that’s sending a message that you literally don’t care about my feelings too? And she said I wanted to see if he was active to which I said I told you he was? She was telling me to unfollow him and she’d keep following him. Then my other friend was like I unfollowed him when he ghosted you to which the other friend said he doesn’t owe you an explanation you know. Me and my (actual best best friend) were like sorry but he should’ve had the decency to be honest he knows I’m sensitive and not the most confident hence telling me to have faith in myself often. Since then he’s not viewed a single thing of mine (I’ve viewed his) in actually sure he’ll think I made her follow him (she’s also now since unfollowed so that also looks mad!!!). My best best friend said the other girl who followed was completely out of order I really wanted to leave the restuarant she was sat going I think he’s a lovely guys he’s just troubled from girls sleeping around on holiday. Am i missing something? That surely doesn’t excuse his behaviour he should work on himself not love bombing me dropping me into some self hatred pit and my friend saying aww poor ghoster 😡 im livid still

Oh for gods sake! Step away from the social media bullshit!

You are trying to analyse this guy, and so are your friends. He was horrible to you. Just stop! 🛑

And stop asking your friends, as they can only speculate like you are doing. It’s messing with your mind all this following/ unfollowing and watching for whose posts he’s looking at. It’s absolute madness and doing you no favours.

please block HIM! Forget him and move on. He’s a face shouting twat with issues with women. Stop mooning over him. Please!

Honestly I know you're young but all this following and unfollowing is so childish and ridiculous. Just delete and block him from instagram and from your life.

you should not want to be with someone who doesn't choose you back. And never convince a man to be with you. If he wanted you he would make it happen. Take a break from all this social media drama and do something useful that helps you to grow.

Thank you oh I am, as ive said I was out with my friends, I’ve been training and dancing every day so not like I’m moping. I just can’t believe she took it upon herself to do that, it’s absolutely madness as she actually meant to do that, unlike me, I’ve had a row with her this afternoon. And I think he did want to be with me, you wouldn’t go to the effort to mute someone if seeing their posts didn’t bother you, but his inability to trust means he thinks I’m a liar now so that’s done x

Tell me about it, I know mine was a mistake but hers was literally intentional and stupid I’m so mad it’s embarrassing x

I can’t really remove him because we could cross paths with work in the coming years if he carries it on 😂. We won’t in 2024 because I know where we’re both going but we could in the following year x

Why does that mean you can't remove him?
by 2025 this will all be such ancient history. Stop clinging on to contact and delete him. It literally doesn't matter what your friends do with their social media.

If I followed the person she occasionally speaks to without asking her she would have hit the roof, in my group it does. Infact I was only allowed to follow him when she asked me to follow him to see what he was doing! She can do what she wants but when you unfollow someone for being shit to your friend you don’t go and follow them back weeks later. That’s just bizarre. He probably thought it too!

and I know I can, but I feel like if we cross paths and he notices it would be awkward if he said it to me?

Him screaming in your face isn't awkward though.

OP, your way of thinking and being is extremely unhealthy.

I know I probably do need some therapy tbf but I’m not rich 😂. It all comes down to my self esteem and confidence, when I dance it’s like I’m a alter ego I don’t care but I stop moving and I am crippled with low self worth and anxiety and stuff (but I try to act tough like nothing phases me etc etc then struggle alone - maybe I’m crazy haha) xx

Why would he bring it up? A year later?!?! Even if he brings it up tomorrow you answer that as we broke up I felt it best to make a clean break. Easy.

Yes I guess so I can literally say you ghosted and hurt me what do you expect? He actually liked my story this evening!! I posted a picture about my Pilates class and he liked it strange x

Not strange really.
I did predict on the 17th that he would be back to give you the next round of your training.
But you are not listening.
Because you want to be back in his good books.
And you are his perfect victim.

When you are broken enough to listen, go back on this thread and you might want to read the book i recommended to start your crawl out of hell.

Good luck.
I mean that sincerely.

I haven’t acted on his like, it’s only a like & Im far too stubborn anyway, only way I’d be tempted is if he straight up begging and pleading me for forgiveness which wouldn’t happen. And I lay last night and thought really if he tried to speak to you would you REALLY want to? And the answer is no. He’s beautiful. But no 🤍

This!

@Swedishfish999 Please block him. For your own sake. You’ve had all this angst about a guy who you kissed, that lives an hours flight away from you. He’s not worth it.

you’ve argued with your actual friend about him now. He’s not worth it.

he screamed in your face and has made you doubt yourself. He’s not worth it.

you are agonising over whether you maybe bump into each other in 2025, and he will be asking you why you blocked him. That’s just crazy thinking! You can always unblock him in 2025 (if you choose) if this actually happens! You don’t need to prepare excuses 18 months in advance for something as trivial as following someone on insta. Honestly, he’s just not worth it.

Op. STEP AWAY FROM THE INTERNET.

OP I have to echo the pp above.
There seems to be such a huge set of rules / dos and don'ts on social media that communicating via it has become so difficult. And the rules seem so variable and you are expected to interpret what the person is REALLY saying.

Why worry now about what may or may not happen in 2025?

It sounds like it hasn't worked out with him and he's a bit of a game player, so I'd be tempted to leave it just move on. If he did contact properly, then I'd ask him straight out why the hurtful behaviour?

Your friend doesn't seem very nice either BTW. And I'd be wary of trusting her in future.

I hope all this blows over for you in the future and becomes old news as you find new friends and interests to focus on as currently, it seems to be causing you so much stress.