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Original poster

Would this put you off a man?

126 replies

CubaLibre23 · 14/11/2023 19:20

First break abroad together.

He's a snorer, audible in space type snorer.

Only two local breaks before; one place had several rooms so fine. Other had only one bedroom; I suggested a blow up mattress in another room (for myself or him). He insisted on sleeping on it (one night) and complained in the morning that it deflated. He was mildly grumpy but not v noticeably so.

At one point I didn't feel like sex again and he went and wanked in the bathroom. He didn't make any attempt to disguise that's what he was doing. I felt like it was almost defiant/huffy. Found it a bit weird.

This break abroad .... One bed apartment in a hostel. Tried one night sleeping together, I couldn't really get any sleep. Hostel had some free rooms (bunk room, no-one else in it). Again I offered to sleep there, he wouldn't have it, insisted he did. Then next morning, he came back to the apartment just before 8am. I work full-time and was enjoying a lie in on holiday. He flung open the curtains as wide as possible, opened the windows and seemed to be in quite a temper. There was no explanation for it other than being pissed off at sleeping on a bunk in another room. (Again - I had offered to do that but he didn't accept).

He also complained in hearing of other people at the airport about how few times he had sex while there ... We had it once of twice. it was embarrassing and I got the impression it was meant to be, he didn't care. In retrospect I wish I'd been more assertive/sharp and said "not the time or place for this!". I was taken aback and didn't want to cause a scene at the time. The man behind us in the queue clocked we were having words, but I don't think he heard what he said/that he was referring to sex.

So there's the huffing and temper about sleeping arrangements... Even though he's the snorer and he insists on being the "gentleman" and giving me the bed.

Then there's the sexual behaviour/apparent snippiness about sex.

He is generally a reliable, available, committed boyfriend. I don't have a car ATM and public transport is not good where he lives so if there are no buses he's doing a lot of collecting and leaving me back at 40/45 mins one way.

Would these put you off?

OP posts:
Chizzyfizzy · 14/11/2023 19:43

A one bedroom apartment in a hostel doesn't exactly set the scene for rampant, uninhibited holiday sex now does it? Who's (awful) idea was that?

blacksax · 14/11/2023 19:44

Would all that put me off?

Hell yes.

Original poster
CubaLibre23 · 14/11/2023 19:45

The argument in public would be the end of it.

It wasn't an argument because I didn't really respond to his snappy comment. I was taken snack and embarrassed. As I said I wish I'd given him short thrift. Then it might've become an argument though, which I'd really rather avoid in an airport queue.

The fact he'd behave like that though.v

Writing it all down here and seeing your responses is eye opening.

OP posts:
TokyoGhoul · 14/11/2023 19:46

God it's grim.

The bad temper.
The noisy wanking.
Complaining about sex.
Publically.

I'd not want to go near him again.

miniegg3 · 14/11/2023 19:46

I mean yeah.. he doesn't sound great overall 😬

I have a snorer and we don't sleep together, but that wouldn't be the issue for me. His moods sound pretty intolerable.

However if he was sexually frustrated, surely its better he went to the bathroom to sort himself out rather than pester her for sex?

yetanotherdaytoday · 14/11/2023 19:46

Would it put me off?

YES a thousand times.

Everything except the snoring.

So many red flags he's waving fucking bunting around.

Absolutely vile individual. He doesn't see you as human, nor care about you. He'd be quite happy for you to have sex when you don't actually want it, so long as you're putting out for him.

He's the kind of man who turns violent, I'd bet good money.

Please run. You don't own him an explanation, just get away.

TokyoGhoul · 14/11/2023 19:47

CubaLibre23 · 14/11/2023 19:45

The argument in public would be the end of it.

It wasn't an argument because I didn't really respond to his snappy comment. I was taken snack and embarrassed. As I said I wish I'd given him short thrift. Then it might've become an argument though, which I'd really rather avoid in an airport queue.

The fact he'd behave like that though.v

Writing it all down here and seeing your responses is eye opening.

Edited

It was designed to embarrass and shame you.

Run.

MsFogi · 14/11/2023 19:47

He does not sound like 'A Keeper'!

Original poster
CubaLibre23 · 14/11/2023 19:48

Chizzyfizzy · 14/11/2023 19:43

A one bedroom apartment in a hostel doesn't exactly set the scene for rampant, uninhibited holiday sex now does it? Who's (awful) idea was that?

This is a total waste of my time and you're being an aibu type but to respond to your comment; it's the entire top floor of a historic building looking out over the square in a historic city centre plaza.

And the spare rooms in the hostel below turned out to be ver handy given the snoring.

You seem rather judgemental, narrow minded and looking to provoke/be derogatory.

OP posts:
justlikebuses · 14/11/2023 19:48

Regardless that a hostel does not scream romantic getaway, bin him off.
I imagine he was confused as early days away is "usually" all over each other if you are both matched that way.
It's clear you are not so 🗑️

xyz111 · 14/11/2023 19:49

This is weird Op. if he's like this now, imagine what he'll be like in a few years time. You'll be on here again asking how to leave him.

justlikebuses · 14/11/2023 19:50

Also he is vile, aside from the sex pest coercive behaviour toward you.

Ragwort · 14/11/2023 19:50

It clearly wasn't working when you had the first holiday with him .. so why go away again ... are you that desperate for a man?
Find your self esteem and drop him.

Lecc · 14/11/2023 19:50

Run for the hills and don't look back love.

Original poster
CubaLibre23 · 14/11/2023 19:51

justlikebuses · 14/11/2023 19:48

Regardless that a hostel does not scream romantic getaway, bin him off.
I imagine he was confused as early days away is "usually" all over each other if you are both matched that way.
It's clear you are not so 🗑️

My sex drive is very cycle dependant.

We did have sex on both trips.

I'm allowed to not have sex sometimes, whether he thought trips should be a fuck fest or not.

OP posts:
Epidote · 14/11/2023 19:51

@CubaLibre23 I don't think you are going to find any car for 400. But you will need to solve your transport issues sooner or later. Get that money on the pot.

Mentioning he is a good guy because he gives you lifts after describing him as snoring man child, not sure if redeem him in the slightest.

The answer is still yes, I would be put of by all his behaviour.

Original poster
CubaLibre23 · 14/11/2023 19:54

Epidote · 14/11/2023 19:51

@CubaLibre23 I don't think you are going to find any car for 400. But you will need to solve your transport issues sooner or later. Get that money on the pot.

Mentioning he is a good guy because he gives you lifts after describing him as snoring man child, not sure if redeem him in the slightest.

The answer is still yes, I would be put of by all his behaviour.

I purposefully chose a property from which I could walk to work and local supermarkets.

There is also public transport and I cycle.

He lives 45 mins away in a rural area. I met him at a sports club in my area.
That's why it's an issue.

OP posts:
Medusaismyhero · 14/11/2023 19:54

I was ready to say bin him because of the snoring - then we got to the wanking! LTB. Sharpish.

Original poster
CubaLibre23 · 14/11/2023 19:56

Ragwort · 14/11/2023 19:50

It clearly wasn't working when you had the first holiday with him .. so why go away again ... are you that desperate for a man?
Find your self esteem and drop him.

What wasn't working?

I didn't want to have sex once when he did? I'd imagine that happens to most couples.

His bathroom wank ...I wondered if he knew I could hear. I think now he did it in purpose but wasn't sure at the time.

The snoring requires separate beds and many many ppl find themselves in that position due to snoring .

Thanks for your kind comments though.

OP posts:
fancyfrogs · 14/11/2023 19:57

He sounds bloody awful

SamW98 · 14/11/2023 19:58

He’s a walking talking red flag - why are you still hanging onto this vile creep?
Honestly hes shown you exactly who he is - their notice and run

RantyAnty · 14/11/2023 20:00

Good grief
A sulking sex pest
Ick

thanksroyalmail · 14/11/2023 20:01

you sound really passive in this. Sometimes you need to put the situation on him eg “why are you speaking to me like that?” But i don’t even think it’s worth having a conversation with him, I’d dump him. At this point in your relationship, he’s trying to impress you cause it’s early days…so imagine what he’s like a few months/years down the line! Will only get worse.

Epidote · 14/11/2023 20:04

@CubaLibre23 in that case even better! That is not an issue you should address.
The car thing and he driving you around is completely irrelevant to describe him as nice. He is not doing you any particular favour. I must read it wrong, apologies.

The answer remains the same, I would let him go.

Thepossibility · 14/11/2023 20:07

The loud wanking,flinging the curtains and complaining about sex in public sound like mantrums about not getting his own way. Definitely bin.

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