I’m a regular but name changed for this as it’s outing. sorry it's long.
Me and DH have four children in their 20s between us, we bought a 5 bed house 3yrs ago when we moved in together to accommodate, though now we only have DH son, 23yr, with us full time.
Issue is he is absolutely bone idle. He only works 3 days a week, total 24 hrs, gets a taxi every time which takes 3 mins, he’s never helped out in the house despite being asked numerous times over the years.
He’s got no social life, it’s been years since he went on a night out. He can’t drive, no interest in learning. He spends his spare time sleeping, gaming or watching sport with DH. He can’t cook, lives off junk food/takeaways if I don’t cook. DH agrees he’s lazy, he doesn’t like it, but “can’t change him”.
I’m sick of coming home from work seeing him sat watching tv with his feet up having done nothing all day, when me and DH work long hours.
DH thinks we’re staying in the house until the mortgage is paid off in 10 years, I’d like to downsize next year or two as there’s only two of us. I don’t want to think DSS will still be living with us when he’s 33.
Me and DH don’t know how we get DSS to a point where he’s looking to move out in the next 2-3 years. We both agree he needs to be getting a full-time job, learning to drive and saving for his own place. But how do we make him change so massively that he’d be able to live self sufficiently?!
I’ve been strict with my two, since leaving education they’ve always worked full time and pulled their weight at home. DH is too soft with him and we end up arguing because DSS doesn’t give a damn and knows his dad won’t follow through on trying to make him change.
My DH says we put his rent up, but that won’t sort him. I think we turn the Wi-Fi off so he can’t go online and spend all day gaming on his days off, but then he’ll just watch sport.
I’m at the end of my tether. I really don’t know how to sort this. Any advice from anyone please.