Husband told me tonight that he’s leaving me …

[InShockHusbandLeaving]

…and I’m sitting here in shock. I’m his second wife. I wasn’t the OW and I’m not younger than him. It’s my first marriage, and will definitely be my last because I never want to go through this again. We have a grown up son. H has been verbally abusive for years and often reduced me to tears with his nasty put downs and the outrageous lies that he tells about me but I always thought he’d change one day. I realise how pathetic and stupid that sounds now. I genuinely believed that deep down he loved me and that he was faithful to me like I’ve always been to him. He used to travel a lot with work and I never felt jealous. I never checked up on him in any way other than ask him to text or phone me whenever he’d got to his destination so I knew he was safe.

I am such a stupid cow aren’t I? Turns out he’s been having a “close, personal friendship” with a co-worker half my age for the last two years at least. Why the hell didn’t I notice? He’s been cold towards since he lost his job but I put it down to stress and depression. Apparently, it was love, not mental health issues.

I’ve just been down to let the dog out and he’s checking RightMove. I guess he’s finding a new home for them both. I feel broken 😞

I hope one day soon you will have this moment...

applepieandtea Time to let it go…….

Concentrate on where you'll be in two years' time, living a happier life without this twat. And don't forget the OW is going to come down to earth with a bump when she realises what he's like.

He sounds vile. You will be well shot of him. Photocopy all bank statements and pension documents. His too if you can.

yep.

I think sweetheart the disloyal bastard has done you a favour. Let the evil bitch have the abusive dick. You will be so much happier not having to tread on eggshells around him.

Mobilise your anger, get all your ducks in a row. Gather up as much financial info etc as you can and take the bastard for everything you can get off him.

Tell your friends and family everything. They will be on your side. They'll be horrified too that they didn't see him for what he is but he's clearly good at putting on an act! My late parents were quite traditional and wouldn't ever have wanted to lose face as they saw it, but when my sister married a twat, they told her the day before the wedding that they'd be happy for her to call it off if it wasn't what she wanted. I am sure your parents will be the same.

A good friend of mine has not long split with her twat. OMG she is so so happy - she's moved to a smaller house and she has it lovely, and she is so relieved that it's all just hers, and she doesn't have to put up with his crap any more.

Everyone will be thinking "no fool like an old fool" about him and he will just be the subject of disgust and derision in equal measures. The new model probably won't tolerate much of his abuse when he inevitably turns it on her!

Think of all the positives!! You don't need to shed another tear over him. You will have freedom and peace of mind. You won't ever have to shag him again!

He was never, ever going to change darling. You must see that deep down. That is who he is. Let the trash take itself out. He's leaving, so tell him to fuck right off and don't prolong it. In time you will see this as a blessing.

Sending you hugs xx

OP, has this come as an absolute shock? Did he just tell you about the OW tonight? My guess is he will come back to you asking for another chance when OW realises he's difficult to live with.
Also what @AbbeyGailsParty & @istolethetalisker said.
You don't have to agree to sell the house, he will need a court order to force a sale, which will cost him £££ and take ages.

He sounds like a disgusting person anyway and
you are well rid … also miss perfect will look perfect on social media - everyone does BUT her life is about to get a lot less perfect, isn’t it?

I would feel sorry for her but she knows he was married and a dad so fuck her, let them live happily ever after. He will get what’s coming to him, stay strong and don’t ever take him back.

He has just done you the best thing he could have even if right now it doesn’t feel like it, you’re allowed to be shocked and upset, but keep strong and you will get through this and life is about to get a lot better for you.

Sounds like the trash has decided to take itself out.

Good riddance to him!

@InShockHusbandLeaving

To @

You must keep remembering what a shit he has been to you, and you should not waste your tears over him. I know how hard it is believe me, but keep your dignity, and above all else look after yourself xx

I'm sorry op :(

Keep "soggy old dick" in your pocket though because that's a great line for when your angry and letting rip!

Definitely don't leave the house. Kick him out. He's got another woman he can bugger off and leave you and your dog to it.

You are definitely going to have Nicole kidman moment. Keep strong, girl, you've got this.

@InShockHusbandLeaving

Get RL support. Tell whomever you need to tell whatever you need to tell them. Your days of 'covering' for him are OVER. He was an emotionally abusive wanker. No need to hide that anymore.

And yes, you need to see a solicitor asap. He may already have done. At the very least his 'mental processes' regarding a divorce are ahead of yours. You need to play 'catch up'. I know you aren't feeling like it, but for your own future you need to harness some of than anger and turn it in the direction of securing your financial future. You can be sure he's doing the same.

Why would you even say that??!!

@InShockHusbandLeaving as the saying goes, he has now created a vacancy. He won't be faithful to this woman either. They deserve each other x

He's done to you what his first wife did to him? That's even shittier knowing how that must have made him feel back then. Wonder if it's a midlife crisis. Nothing you have done. He'll soon get bored of the younger woman and she of him once they realise they have little in common. By then you'll be back to your own self.
It doesn't seem like it now but things will get better. You'll get through this and be happier without someone who obviously doesn't appreciate you. Dont look up anything to do with OW. She's really insignificant and everything on there will be fakery anyway. Once she sees his shiny head one morning it will dawn on her what's she done and she'll start looking elsewhere. Be glad you're rid of the tosser OP.
Get mad, stay strong. Look after yourself.

He's done you a favour. I'm sure the OW will realise he's the booby prize in a few months when his true colours shine.

Just think - he's saved you from spending the rest of your life putting up with his abusive crap.

You are free!

There have been some wonderfully supportive posts on this thread, MN at it's best, to you all.

Have you considered time off work? Holiday or perhaps compassionate leave or something on the basis of what's happening? As you said, your head isn't in a good place and affect your work.

You mentioned shame of some sort, and how he appears to others. Most of us, I hope, are wise to appearances being deceiving & things going on behind closed doors not talked about. Him leaving, and circumstances, should open people's minds to the idea. Go for it, tell the truth about him and don't hold back. You owe him nothing

He's done you a favour, he will do it to this woman too and the next, they all will think he loves them but he doesn't.
He loves the frill of the chase and the danger of getting caught, once the honeymoon period is over, he will start looking for his next victim.

another vote for get things in place find bank details etc,be aware whats in the bank,you will be well rid we promise.its just been a shock,you will get through this,good luck xx

OP if your mind is buzzing away, stick some earphones in and listen to some positive affirmations, relaxation techniques to get you to stop thinking negatively. You may even get a couple of hours sleep. You are a wonderful woman, you opened your heart to him, were selfless and he’s treated you very badly. Unfortunately to feel love, you have to do this and open up. Don’t beat yourself up over it- it’s totally on him, not you! Delete her Insta- No one is that fabulous in RL and you just need to swat thoughts of her/him away like an annoying fly. Plan your new dreams , be honest, you were never sailing into the sunset hand in hand from how he’s treated you- you have a vacancy to fill in the future when you are divorced and healing - that excitement is there in your future. For now it’s sorting ducks as per PP and dealing with the practical side.

If he tries to take the dog, don't let him, kick him up the arse and drag him out the house and throw his belongings after him.
Take the dog to your parents tomorrow morning early. X

It does not feel like it today, but it's always a glorious moment when the trash takes itself out.

You just got handed a wonderful new chapter in life where you can find peace and new friendships and redecorate your house just the way you want it. It will be awesome!

Meanwhile he and the chippie will be stuck together and miserable very soon.

Don't ever take him back. Block her and him on social media so you can't see them. Embrace life and freedom.

It sucks now, but it's going to be wonderful soon enough OP. I promise.

Just came across your post and honestly can't understand why you think this is a bad thing @InShockHusbandLeaving.
I get that is been a massive shock but that should have lasted all of about 40 seconds until you thought THIS IS A GOOD THING😉

All the very best OP and try and stop crying, he is not worth your tears. He is a knob and you will probably find that most people you know will be well aware of just how much of a knob he is and will also say THIS IS A GOOD THING.