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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

This isn’t normal behaviour from DH, is it?

107 replies

Winwit · 12/11/2023 15:18

This morning I choked really violently on a grape and had to run to the kitchen sink to spit it out and drink some water. DH didn’t ask if I was ok or show any concern at all. He just sat there eating his breakfast and looking at his phone. Then he had a go at me saying I was choking in an overly dramatic way. Apparently he’s never known anyone behave so ridiculously when choking? He said you just cough and take a drink - you don’t need to run to the sink and spit and make loud choking noises, it’s pathetic and ridiculous and there’s no need for it.

I don’t know what I’ve done to make him hate me so much, but it makes me incredibly sad. I wasn’t being overly dramatic, I was genuinely choking and retching. This isn’t a normal way to be treated by someone who’s supposed to love you, is it?

OP posts:

mathanxiety · 16/11/2023 06:13

ended up with you

RandomForest · 16/11/2023 13:48

Listen to @mathanxiety

The reasons he gives for abusing you are irrelevant.

He just wants to abuse, that's what he likes.

Your pain is his enjoyment.

Redskyatwhatever · 16/11/2023 14:03

My DH and I were in a restaurant once and an older woman sitting in a family group started chocking so badly. Someone called for an ambulance and the staff found a screen to put round her when she collapsed. The staff then asked the nearest tables including us to move further away and set up fresh tables etc and even though the woman was not known to us everyone moved as asked because they were not unfeeling idiots.

TheresaWa · 16/11/2023 18:58

My dad's partner was with her dad at home, they were eating and he starting choking. They went in the car to go to the hospital, she went in as they forgot the medical cards, she found him dead. That happened few months ago.

You could show your DH this message and the others replies.

Itsmehi222 · 16/11/2023 19:04

Winwit · 12/11/2023 15:45

Everything I do is wrong.

Last night he shouted at me because I had rushed out of the door to an appointment and I had time to carry our dinner plates into the kitchen but not put them in the dishwasher. So when he came back from walking the dog and found the plates on the worktop he yelled at me.

He also yelled at me because he had got the butter out at breakfast, and I used it and put it back in the fridge. So he shouted at me because he had got it out and I’d put it away before he could use it.

He also yelled at me because I thought he’d gone out and I put the bathroom light off from the switch in the hall, but actually he was still in the bathroom.

I could give you more examples but I can’t remember them all.

Show quote history

Tbh I really think he just doesn’t like you.

PramPusherCentral · 17/11/2023 12:59

Itsmehi222 · 16/11/2023 19:04

Tbh I really think he just doesn’t like you.

Show quote history

Are you aware how cold and mean this sounds?

Itsmehi222 · 17/11/2023 14:10

PramPusherCentral · 17/11/2023 12:59

Are you aware how cold and mean this sounds?

Show quote history

Eh? No. The problem is with her DH. There’s nothing wrong with her.

When someone doesn’t like you it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it’s life. If you’re personally offended by that you’ll be very unhappy in life because it’s unavoidable.

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