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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hubby wont get his passport renewed

91 replies

karenza83 · 07/11/2023 09:35

passport mister bean GIF

what would you do. we are due to go away in 6 weeks for my birthday, it is a special one and booked back in march. when booking mine and my hubs passport was due to run out in august, so we decided that we would wait to update them. here is the thing - I have, all sorted and back. I have raised this several times with my husband and he just is like yeah yeah yeah. i really dont know what to do. i have kind of given up asking, this is something that he needs to do. he looks so diffrent to the picture from ten years ago.
do i just stop asking and let him miss out.
do i just try and use his old photo and hope for the best.
do i just go on my own and try and enjoy it as best i can.

OP posts:
NotLactoseFree · 07/11/2023 09:37

I think you tell him very clearly that if he doesn't have a passport, he can't go on this trip and that will be hugely disappointing to you and demonstrates a complete lack of care for you. If he doesn't sit down and go through the process right then (and no, you can't do it for him, he must do it himself), look into changing your trip to one with a friend. And start thinking about why you are with him because he clearly doesn't give a flying monkey's about you.

Passports can take as little as two weeks. they can take as long as 8 weeks too.

Moonlightsonatas · 07/11/2023 09:43

Go on your own, if he wanted to come he would have sorted his passport out

IvorTheEngineDriver · 07/11/2023 10:17

Go on your own. Fuck him.

UnusedUsername · 07/11/2023 11:32

Run out in August, as in last August (so has run out) or next August? If next August, then check the issue date and rules around how much time you need on it (or get him to), it's quite possibly fine. If it isn't then show that to him, if he doesn't instigate sorting a new one then plan to go with someone else.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 07/11/2023 11:36

Do you mean it has already expired? In which case he will not be allowed to fly regardless of whether he resembles his picture or not.

Or do you mean it expires next August and you are just worried because he doesn't look like his almost 10 year old picture? In which case don't worry, there is more than 6 months on it and nobody looks like their photo anyway.

karenza83 · 07/11/2023 11:36

has run out, this august just gone. so stressed with it. why is it so difficult.

OP posts:
VeridicalVagabond · 07/11/2023 11:39

karenza83 · 07/11/2023 11:36

has run out, this august just gone. so stressed with it. why is it so difficult.

It's not at all difficult if you're not married to a bozo

FallingAutumnLeaf · 07/11/2023 11:40

You can't use his old photo. There is a declaration about it being recent.
Can you change the name on the booking and take a friend?
It doesn't sound like your husband will be going with you. Sorry.

betterangels · 07/11/2023 11:40

He's the difficult one. I'd ask myself why and go alone. Is he trying to sabotage you? He sounds like a wanker to me.

IncompleteSenten · 07/11/2023 11:40

Tell him that if he thinks you'll cancel he can think again because you'll go without him.

rubyslippers · 07/11/2023 11:41

karenza83 · 07/11/2023 11:36

has run out, this august just gone. so stressed with it. why is it so difficult.

Why didn’t he just send his off when you did yours?
I think it’s horrendous that he hasn’t; that he won’t have time to do it
he needs to explain why he’s going to ruin your trip

flaxentoad · 07/11/2023 11:42

Can I just ask, has your DH got form for passive-aggressive foot-dragging? Has he done this kind of thing before?

You do get some people who are secretly resentful about something. Maybe because it's your birthday and they feel pissed off that the trip will be about you and not them. Maybe they don't really want to go or want to spoil the lead up to the trip by keeping you on tenterhooks like this.

I could be way off the mark here, only you'll know that.

But it's worth considering.

cocksstrideintheevening · 07/11/2023 11:42

Your 'hubs' is a prat. Take a friend instead.

rainbowsparkle28 · 07/11/2023 11:43

Surely he doesn't think you can go on an expired passport?! The process is super easy and quick generally speaking and he is prepared to forego your trip because he won't sort his passport?! Arrange for someone else to come with you as he clearly doesn't have any regard for you.

00100001 · 07/11/2023 11:44

leave him to it and go without him if he doesn't sort it out.

EvenBetta · 07/11/2023 11:46

It’s not at all difficult. ‘Hubby’ is a bit thick. Go without him.

titchy · 07/11/2023 11:46

Take someone else.

TripleDaisySummer · 07/11/2023 11:46

Took a week to just do a renewal with on-line gov site - though mine hadn't quite run out.

If he does it on-line could still get done even now - quick googles suggest he may not need a counter sign as less than 10 years since expired though if he really has changed a lot he will anyway.

If a quick on-line form - and you can take a picture with a phone - did if for kids - will tell you if it will pass. Then send old passport off.

If he won't do that then I suggest you tell him your going anyway and he's upset you - and wasted money and he just won't be able to go.

stealthninjamum · 07/11/2023 11:47

That reminds of when I was due to have a fortnights holiday with exh and his passport had expired. I had to go to London the day before we were due to go and get the same day passport service for ££££ for him because he didn’t want to take a day off work. I was lucky that in those days you could book this a couple of days before.

Op I would be looking at the whole of your relationship and wondering if he’s that useless in other ways. My now dp organises all this stuff himself and it’s so nice going out with an adult who has his shit together.

I would go away without him.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 07/11/2023 11:47

Is he deliberately sabotaging the trip? Unless he does it tonight I would see if you can change the name on the booking and take a friend.

flaxentoad · 07/11/2023 11:47

Yeah, I'd be tempted to just sit back and see how far he will go with this.

The answer may be very revealing.

TripleDaisySummer · 07/11/2023 11:59

I think officially it's 10 weeks you are supposed to leave it's usually around 3 in spring last year took 5 weeks for our family and this last week took 7 days.

If it's done very soon good chance it would get back in time.

I got photo done with Timpson shoe repair on Thursday lunchtime and they put photo on-line did form 15 minutes later in day and paid £82.50 and sent old photo off recorded delivery that evening - got new passport on the Wednesday in post.

But I would wonder if he was deliberately sabotaging the trip.

My family full of PA behavior tends toward getting on trips but making sure there lots of unnecessary stress and then act like your the one causing it all - are you sure he hasn't sorted it or plans to but wants you to worry in meantime.

Dweetfidilove · 07/11/2023 12:02

Does he want to go?

Will you go without him?

Itsnotchristmasyet · 07/11/2023 12:05

You are not his mum.

You have reminded him to get it done and so it’s on him.

If he doesn’t get it done, then he never wanted to go and you go with someone else instead.

You have to ask yourself why you felt it was so important to get yours done and make sure it’s back on time, yet he doesn’t seem to care.