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Original poster

I hadn't really thought about this before until thread in AIBU

133 replies

Tonight1 · 28/10/2023 08:02

I have a house with a friend for several years now. I think he's attractive but definitely not in a romantic sense. He is absolutely not in love with me so this is nothing that could hurt him. It doesn't hurt him either as I would be delighted if he found a nice girlfriend.

But it's been only this year that I have tolerated some sexual activity because I wanted to chat. I'm not outgoing but I do like chatting!

It's best to talk to him about it really so that we're absolutely clear? I think he knows that I'm fine with messing around a little when I'm in a talkative mood. Definitely not full sex. It is a complete trade off really!

OP posts:
Justcallmebebes · 28/10/2023 09:13

*There. Ones with bad grammar too

Thebigblueballoon · 28/10/2023 09:13

Tonight1 · 28/10/2023 09:02

I never said anything about wanking. That is PP's mind and was grossly inappropriate.

I let him hold me a couple of times and hold my breasts. Brief kiss. And yes that was because I needed to talk so we were both manipulative as we're not in love with each other.

I've dealt with it now as I've messaged him and been quite stark. Not in a nasty way.

There are some strange people on here.

Show quote history

You think I’m being inappropriate?! 😂

In true Mumsnet fashion, I suggest you give your head a wobble, OP.

Because holding your breasts is totally normal over a chat and a cuppa, eh.

Original poster
Tonight1 · 28/10/2023 09:18

Thebigblueballoon · 28/10/2023 09:13

You think I’m being inappropriate?! 😂

In true Mumsnet fashion, I suggest you give your head a wobble, OP.

Because holding your breasts is totally normal over a chat and a cuppa, eh.

Show quote history

You mentioned wanking, I didn't. So that was all in your head.

And he doesn't drink tea.

OP posts:
Thebigblueballoon · 28/10/2023 09:21

Tonight1 · 28/10/2023 09:18

You mentioned wanking, I didn't. So that was all in your head.

And he doesn't drink tea.

Show quote history

To be fair OP, I think filling in the gaps by suggesting it was a wank is milder than insinuating you were dishing out BJs.

Does he like coffee?

Motnight · 28/10/2023 09:21

Tonight1 · 28/10/2023 09:18

You mentioned wanking, I didn't. So that was all in your head.

And he doesn't drink tea.

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Original poster
Tonight1 · 28/10/2023 09:39

Thebigblueballoon · 28/10/2023 09:21

To be fair OP, I think filling in the gaps by suggesting it was a wank is milder than insinuating you were dishing out BJs.

Does he like coffee?

Show quote history

I'm starting to think it would be more intimate to reveal his drink preferences than any touching between us.

And no it's not alcohol. Although I don't entirely approve of his beverages.

Sorted now really, I've brought up that interaction has been transactional this year by WhatsApp. He must know that already and he's definitely not in love with me.

After work on Monday I'm away staying with a friend so can talk to my heart's content, no tit touching involved.

OP posts:
Thebigblueballoon · 28/10/2023 09:44

Tonight1 · 28/10/2023 09:39

I'm starting to think it would be more intimate to reveal his drink preferences than any touching between us.

And no it's not alcohol. Although I don't entirely approve of his beverages.

Sorted now really, I've brought up that interaction has been transactional this year by WhatsApp. He must know that already and he's definitely not in love with me.

After work on Monday I'm away staying with a friend so can talk to my heart's content, no tit touching involved.

Show quote history

😂😂😂

Epidote · 28/10/2023 09:46

This situation is not good for any of you.

rainbowstardrops · 28/10/2023 09:48

There are some strange people on here.

Never a truer word said 😂

GoodToBeHome · 28/10/2023 09:50

You can chat to anyone. They don't need to be holding on to a tit to operate their mouth.

VisionsOfSplendour · 28/10/2023 09:52

Although I don't entirely approve of his beverages

That's a new one, you're happy for him to cop a feel but you judge his beverage?

Do tell us what this unsavoury drink or choice

You also might want to work on communicating clearly, do you also have the mystery illness that means you can't communicate? What on earth is that?

LylaLee · 28/10/2023 09:53

VisionsOfSplendour · 28/10/2023 09:52

Although I don't entirely approve of his beverages

That's a new one, you're happy for him to cop a feel but you judge his beverage?

Do tell us what this unsavoury drink or choice

You also might want to work on communicating clearly, do you also have the mystery illness that means you can't communicate? What on earth is that?

Edited

A sex doll that runs out of battery...

Original poster
Tonight1 · 28/10/2023 10:05

Nerve damage from an accident. It means he sleeps a lot.

I wasn't quite expecting to get into this level of detail. No we're not hurting each other but I WFH so can get bored and restless and want someone to chatter to and he's not attracted to me aside from I'm female, I'd find it brilliant if he met a nice girlfriend. Which isn't likely to happen unless his sleep disorder is cured.

@Thebigblueballoon I would honestly send you the message I sent him this morning but don't think we're allowed to by dm.

@VisionsOfSplendour I could message you the drinks. Nothing exciting I just don't think it's good for him.

OP posts:
Ringadinga · 28/10/2023 13:05

What the fuck? 'Hold my tits so I can talk to you' what weird thread have I stumbled on, and OP calling other posters out for their posts?

TheShellBeach · 28/10/2023 13:08

Tonight1 · 28/10/2023 08:45

Is my writing style really that weird? I didn't know how to describe an atypical situation.

I've sent the message and I'll speak to him when he gets up. I think he knows that we're both coming at it from different angles, just want it to be clear.

Show quote history

Yes.
Your writing style is making this situation as clear as mud.

TheShellBeach · 28/10/2023 13:11

There are some strange people on here

...... says the OP, who's written one of the strangest threads I've ever seen on here.

gamerchick · 28/10/2023 13:13

OP don't be PMing people, that's seriously weird Hmm

NigelHarmansNewWife · 28/10/2023 13:13

Quite. I've never let a male friend kiss me and grope my boobs just to have a conversation. What a very weird way to behave.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 28/10/2023 13:14

Very very strange. I’d never let anyone hold my tits and get a brief kiss with a chat for a favour to them.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 28/10/2023 13:14

Let me rephrase that: I've never let anyone do that!

feellikeanalien · 28/10/2023 13:18

What a weird thread.

Maze76 · 28/10/2023 13:26

This thread has made me giggle.
@Tonight1 I think people are struggling to make sense of the situation.

Just to be clear- are you saying that whenever you strike up a conversation with flat man he automatically tries to kiss and grope you, and you let him because you’re bored & you quite like it, but didn’t want him to read anything else into it?

ObeseHelp · 28/10/2023 13:28

Netflix and chill can be replaced by ....

Option. 1: Tits and Tea
Option 2: Gossip and Groping
Or Option 3: Breasts and Beverages

Original poster
Tonight1 · 28/10/2023 13:28

TheShellBeach · 28/10/2023 13:11

There are some strange people on here

...... says the OP, who's written one of the strangest threads I've ever seen on here.

It's not really that strange. If I'm very isolated, both single and don't mind him holding me whilst I talk he doesn't get hurt, I don't get hurt. We're not looking at a long term relationship here. It had crossed my mind that he might get me confused with a girlfriend which is why when I read 'talk shit, get pussy' thread in AIBU yesterday I wondered if our boundaries were clear enough.

It might be unconventional however it doesn't matter if we've cuddled a couple of times on the sofa. With no further intent.

I had something even weirder happen to me today but don't need to talk about it!

OP posts:
CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 28/10/2023 13:30

Your narcoleptic friend (real or imaginary) is an absolute fucking sex pest.