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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Day drinking

86 replies

Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:26

Do you think you have the right to get pissed off with your partner drinking in the house at 3 o’clock in the day? Im not a controlling kind of person who has rules in place for everyone but I don’t like it in front of my children. An older teen and a pre teen. I like to have a drink at night as much as anyone else but not every night and definitely not during the day for no reason. I’ve had this conversation with him before because after an hour or so you will know he has drink in him and I don’t want that in front of my children or am I being a bit OTT??

OP posts:
Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:38

And to add now he’s not speaking to me as he doesn’t like to be told what to do. Maybe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill.

OP posts:
wildwestpioneer · 21/10/2023 15:39

Depends how often he does it, and the volume, if it's an odd occasion on a weekend, or 1/2 beers, then I don't see an issue.

If it's the minute he gets home from work or he's pissed every Saturday and Sunday and it stops him getting involved in family life, then it's a problem

SquirrelHash · 21/10/2023 15:40

It's also a problem if you can't have a rational discussion about it.

CandyLeBonBon · 21/10/2023 15:41

Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:26

Do you think you have the right to get pissed off with your partner drinking in the house at 3 o’clock in the day? Im not a controlling kind of person who has rules in place for everyone but I don’t like it in front of my children. An older teen and a pre teen. I like to have a drink at night as much as anyone else but not every night and definitely not during the day for no reason. I’ve had this conversation with him before because after an hour or so you will know he has drink in him and I don’t want that in front of my children or am I being a bit OTT??

Is it a one off or all the time?

WhereDoYouGo1 · 21/10/2023 15:42

Are they his children?

Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:43

It happens a lot. Most nights, but hasn’t been during the day for a while. No they’re not his kids

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WhereDoYouGo1 · 21/10/2023 15:43

I wouldn’t like it especially if it was obvious he was drunk eg slurring. A one-off drink for a birthday or something fine but not as a regular habit.

Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:44

And it won’t stop at 1 or 2 it will continue until about 10pm maybe

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WhereDoYouGo1 · 21/10/2023 15:45

Does he live with you or does he have his own place?

Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:45

1 or 2 drinks I mean

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Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:45

@WhereDoYouGo1 he lives with me

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mrsbyers · 21/10/2023 15:46

3pm is football time here , if I wasn’t here I have no doubt my husband would have a beer by now

ElleCapitaine · 21/10/2023 15:46

I’d have a glass of wine if I went out for a pub lunch on a Saturday afternoon, but it wouldn’t cross my mind if it was just pootling about the house. Does he do it often and does he drink much? I wouldn’t mind if he had a beer or two while watching the football or rugby occasionally, but if it was just the start time of a 10 hour session I’d struggle to cope with that.

BMW6 · 21/10/2023 15:48

I think now and then for something particular - say, an important sporting event on TV, Christmas Day, perhaps 10 times a year in total.

Not every weekend though.

LenBast · 21/10/2023 15:48

Fine every now and again and I think also fine if it's just one or two drinks (eg a glass of wine with Sunday lunch). Just starting drinking in the middle of the day and carrying on into the night, regularly- that's a big problem.

Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:51

Ya I suppose it might have been to watch a game and that I don’t mind but I’m just sick of seeing a can of beer permanently attached to his hand and my kids father never drank like that in front of them.

OP posts:
Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:52

The silent treatment is nearly worse than the constant slugging back cans

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CandyLeBonBon · 21/10/2023 15:53

Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:51

Ya I suppose it might have been to watch a game and that I don’t mind but I’m just sick of seeing a can of beer permanently attached to his hand and my kids father never drank like that in front of them.

Well it's clear the relationship isn't working - how long have you lived together? Was he like this before he moved in? Was he like this when you first met?

AuntieMarys · 21/10/2023 15:54

We day drink but stop about 5. Does he continue?

Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:56

He will continue for as long as he’s able to. I feel bad now though because I don’t want to be a nag but I’ve seen so many people in my family and friends suffer because of alcoholism and I don’t want to go down that road. I couldn’t let a friend call a few weeks back because he had been drinking since 3 o’clock again and was well on it by 8 or 9 and I was a bit ashamed to let anyone call to be honest

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Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 15:59

@CandyLeBonBon ya he was if I’m honest but I just put it down to both of us coming out of bad relationships and enjoying our ‘freedom’ but I was stupid to not put a stop to it back then. He’s just wonderful in every other way

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Ragruggers · 21/10/2023 15:59

How long has he lived with you? You sound as if you don’t really like him much.I wouldn’t like the drinking ,he sounds as if he has a problem.Is it time to part ways ?

Lorzzz · 21/10/2023 16:01

@Ragruggers we’ve been living together for over a year. It would break my heart to lose him if we did break up

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category12 · 21/10/2023 16:01

Sounds like he has a problem.

It's affecting your life and your children's lives negatively.

Why feel bad for not wanting a man to sit in your house drinking can after can to the point you're ashamed to invite friends over?

category12 · 21/10/2023 16:05

How often does this happen?

No good him being "wonderful in every way" if that only lasts until 3pm on the regular.

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