Deleted or he hid his last seen?

delawaregi · 2023-10-12T10:03:07+00:00

If someone deleted my number on WhatsApp, can I see them typing to me? When I first sent him my Swiss number I couldn't see his last seen as he hadn't added me yet. By evening he opened his last seen for everyone as he still hadn't added me but for some reason decided to open his last seen for everyone including those who are not his contacts. Then he added my British number and closed his last seen for everyone and only kept it open for his contacts. A year later we had a fight and he deleted me but denied deleting me, instead saying he had archived me. In January this year, I saw him texting someone when we were talking together but that person's last seen was not visible on his WhatsApp either so I don't know if he had set his last seen to nobody or if the person he was texting had set his last seen to nobody. For 8 months I couldn't see his last seen. Then I told him about the gossipers and he agreed to meet up and when I sent him a text, a few hours later he replied and I could see his last seen. I don't know if he had kept his last seen to nobody or re-added me. Then last month I couldn't see his last seen and when I texted asking for help, he replied 2 hours later and I could see him typing and within a few minutes I could see his last seen again. Yesterday I met him and he was literally sitting outside the gates, I called out his name and he saw me looking happy. He was going to meet a friend but he let me accompany him halfway through the route and was talking animatedly and was in a good mood. Then today morning I couldn't see his last seen again. He was online until 21.47 when I last spoke and I could see his last seen that time but today morning his last seen isn't visible. I have a feeling that he's trying to test me because the person I mentioned while asking him for help last month was online on similar days on MS Teams. I feel he's trying to check if I watched his last seen and noticed that he had hidden/or deleted me and that's why he has hidden or deleted me again to see if I message him again trying to see if I'm still in his contacts or if he has deleted me ??

Opentooffers · 12/10/2023 11:10

I never have my last seen on so that people like you don't obsess unnecessarily over when I was last on. Likewise, I don't have to notice or try to contemplate when someone else was last on - it makes life so much easier. Can still get the 2 ticks going blue when your message has been read. That's all you need to know, anything else is unnecessary headspace. How someone behaves towards you is far more important to focus on.

Original poster

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 11:18

Opentooffers · 12/10/2023 11:10

I never have my last seen on so that people like you don't obsess unnecessarily over when I was last on. Likewise, I don't have to notice or try to contemplate when someone else was last on - it makes life so much easier. Can still get the 2 ticks going blue when your message has been read. That's all you need to know, anything else is unnecessary headspace. How someone behaves towards you is far more important to focus on.

I know that but he had his last seen on and like I said I could see his last seen after he hid/deleted last month too when he began replying to me. He was perfectly normal yesterday and even was even being funny then what happened that I couldn't see it. Usually, he does this when he has a problem with me but yesterday there was nothing wrong.

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obje · 12/10/2023 11:20

What makes you think it's all for your benefit? Could there not be a other reason he changes it?

For example, I have my "last seen" turned off as I generally don't like people knowing if I have been online but not replied to them. However, occasionally if im checking if my 12yo Dd has her phone on her and it has battery etc, I turn on my last seen so that I can see her last seen. Later I'll then turn my own "last seen" off again....if I remember! (sometimes I do it immediately, sometimes days later, sometimes I forget for weeks).

I also generally have my status showing as whether I'm online or not. However, sometimes when I'm wfh I turn this off as I don't like colleagues being able to see if I'm chatting online when I should be working 😂
Again, I sometimes forget to immediately change it back.

I've actually got no idea if my bf even looks at any of these details when we're messaging. I honestly doubt he notices or would care but if he was paying attention to it, god knows what he'd think as it would make no sense without me explaining!!

beastlyslumber · 12/10/2023 11:21

Sorry OP but this is a bit unhinged.

I don't have last seen on, nor do I have the blue ticks. I suggest you do the same and this will solve one of your problems.

As far as this man goes, you obviously don't trust him, so just ditch him and be done with it.

Lovelynames123 · 12/10/2023 11:21

Who is this person? Whoever he is he's not making you happy, and making you tie yourself in knots trying to understand him. This is not a healthy relationship, and all sounds very immature. I never have my last seen on, I might be on WhatsApp replying to a customer or an important family message, but generally I don't have time for chit chat throughout the day if I'm working but wouldn't want people to think I'm purposefully ignoring them, and overthinking it as you are

Original poster

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 11:23

obje · 12/10/2023 11:20

What makes you think it's all for your benefit? Could there not be a other reason he changes it?

For example, I have my "last seen" turned off as I generally don't like people knowing if I have been online but not replied to them. However, occasionally if im checking if my 12yo Dd has her phone on her and it has battery etc, I turn on my last seen so that I can see her last seen. Later I'll then turn my own "last seen" off again....if I remember! (sometimes I do it immediately, sometimes days later, sometimes I forget for weeks).

I also generally have my status showing as whether I'm online or not. However, sometimes when I'm wfh I turn this off as I don't like colleagues being able to see if I'm chatting online when I should be working 😂
Again, I sometimes forget to immediately change it back.

I've actually got no idea if my bf even looks at any of these details when we're messaging. I honestly doubt he notices or would care but if he was paying attention to it, god knows what he'd think as it would make no sense without me explaining!!

Yes, I do agree maybe something happened with some friend or the person he went to meet with and he turned it off so I am hoping to see how he behaves with me in person when I see him again.

Because he always does this when it is related to me. When I first sent him my number on WhatsApp, he opened it everywhere when he had not added me and he kept it open when he added my British number and then he hid/deleted it after we had a fight which was understandable. and then when I told him about the gossip, he appreciated me looking out for him and I could see it again.

that's why cos there seems to be a pattern.

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Original poster

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 11:25

Lovelynames123 · 12/10/2023 11:21

Who is this person? Whoever he is he's not making you happy, and making you tie yourself in knots trying to understand him. This is not a healthy relationship, and all sounds very immature. I never have my last seen on, I might be on WhatsApp replying to a customer or an important family message, but generally I don't have time for chit chat throughout the day if I'm working but wouldn't want people to think I'm purposefully ignoring them, and overthinking it as you are

Former date but we still talk. He was very friendly and very nice yesterday but today he has done this. he does things purposefully like this I guess to make me keep guessing?

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Original poster

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 11:26

beastlyslumber · 12/10/2023 11:21

Sorry OP but this is a bit unhinged.

I don't have last seen on, nor do I have the blue ticks. I suggest you do the same and this will solve one of your problems.

As far as this man goes, you obviously don't trust him, so just ditch him and be done with it.

But i told you he had it on and he has had it on for months now.

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beastlyslumber · 12/10/2023 11:30

There's a man who you're not dating but sometimes talk to. For some reason, you are stalking his online activities and you believe that he is turning on and off his 'last seen' info in order to mess with your head?

Okay, then. So the two things you can do, in order, are:

Cut ties with this man
Turn off 'last seen' on your whatsapp

Problem solved. What else can anyone say?

Original poster

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 11:32

beastlyslumber · 12/10/2023 11:30

There's a man who you're not dating but sometimes talk to. For some reason, you are stalking his online activities and you believe that he is turning on and off his 'last seen' info in order to mess with your head?

Okay, then. So the two things you can do, in order, are:

Cut ties with this man
Turn off 'last seen' on your whatsapp

Problem solved. What else can anyone say?

What do you think hes doing if I am not right in guessing?

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AgnesX · 12/10/2023 11:36

You sound like you're virtually stalking him. Find something better to do with someone better and stop obsessing.

beastlyslumber · 12/10/2023 11:36

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 11:32

What do you think hes doing if I am not right in guessing?

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I have no idea what he's doing or what you think he's doing.

Going by the information you've given, you are stalking him online. This is a serious problem. You need to stop doing that.

You think that his online activities are meant to mess with your head. Maybe they are. Maybe they're not. Either way, you need to cut ties with this man as it's doing you no good to keep obsessing about him.

rainbowstardrops · 12/10/2023 11:42

So @delawaregi you still talk to a former date but aren't dating but you're obsessed with his online activity? That's bordering on stalking behaviour!
I have no idea what he's doing because it isn't any of my business and it's none of yours too!

Original poster

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 11:46

rainbowstardrops · 12/10/2023 11:42

So @delawaregi you still talk to a former date but aren't dating but you're obsessed with his online activity? That's bordering on stalking behaviour!
I have no idea what he's doing because it isn't any of my business and it's none of yours too!

well theres nothing wrong in asking why would someone suddenly delete when they were alright a few hours ago?

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Watchkeys · 12/10/2023 11:47

Avoid anybody who makes you feel you're 'guessing'

Problem solved.

rainbowstardrops · 12/10/2023 11:48

well theres nothing wrong in asking why would someone suddenly delete when they were alright a few hours ago?

But why is that any of your business???

Scalottia · 12/10/2023 11:50

Good lord, just forget about him OP and stop obsessing over this.

Watchkeys · 12/10/2023 11:50

well theres nothing wrong in asking why would someone suddenly delete when they were alright a few hours ago

It displays a desire to psychoanalyse, and an assumption that strangers would know what he was thinking.

We have no idea. Ask him, and if you can't, or you don't trust his answer, stay away from him. Life isn't about figuring people out; it's about seeking out those who make sense to you.

Original poster

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 11:55

Watchkeys · 12/10/2023 11:50

well theres nothing wrong in asking why would someone suddenly delete when they were alright a few hours ago

It displays a desire to psychoanalyse, and an assumption that strangers would know what he was thinking.

We have no idea. Ask him, and if you can't, or you don't trust his answer, stay away from him. Life isn't about figuring people out; it's about seeking out those who make sense to you.

so if you know someone who has their last seen only set to contacts and suddenly you cant see it so you wouldnt care if they deleted you or no?

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Original poster

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 11:55

rainbowstardrops · 12/10/2023 11:48

well theres nothing wrong in asking why would someone suddenly delete when they were alright a few hours ago?

But why is that any of your business???

because we still talk

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Scalottia · 12/10/2023 11:57

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 11:55

so if you know someone who has their last seen only set to contacts and suddenly you cant see it so you wouldnt care if they deleted you or no?

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Not the PP but no, I honestly wouldn't care.

Panaa · 12/10/2023 12:00

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 11:46

well theres nothing wrong in asking why would someone suddenly delete when they were alright a few hours ago?

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It's not a healthy dynamic to be in though.
If you're obsessing over his last seen or his intentions behind certain things then you should really cut ties.

rainbowstardrops · 12/10/2023 12:00

because we still talk

And??? Do you check all ex boyfriends or friends?
Unless you're still dating or are fwb then I really can't see why it's any of your business what he does. He's a friend, not a partner and he doesn't owe you explanations.
As an aside, why are you so bothered by his actions?

Original poster

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 12:03

rainbowstardrops · 12/10/2023 12:00

because we still talk

And??? Do you check all ex boyfriends or friends?
Unless you're still dating or are fwb then I really can't see why it's any of your business what he does. He's a friend, not a partner and he doesn't owe you explanations.
As an aside, why are you so bothered by his actions?

he is still potential bf

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Original poster

delawaregi · 12/10/2023 12:04

Scalottia · 12/10/2023 11:57

Not the PP but no, I honestly wouldn't care.

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and if the person stops talking to you in person even then you wouldnt?

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