Partner and I moving in together. Into my home..

[itsautumnnow]

What's fair financially?
Both early fifties .
Both in 65k.
I have three dependants . He now has one as others working etc.
His child will come every second weekend until he decides he wants to stay home with friends/ hobbies etc.
His son lives 40 mins away.
Dad will collect / drop most
Weekends and he will have his own room/ be part of the family as long as he wants to come.
All kids teens.
My children are with me 100%.
I have mortgage of e150 k.
He is generous so there won't be stress that way but I want house to remain in my name and my children to inherit it.
He agrees with this .
What do I do in this situation please?
It would be important that if he outlived me , that he would remain here until his passing .

Anyone please? This is all new to me

Hi, you need to go to a solicitor and draw up a cohabitation agreement. They will likely also advise mirrored wills. This will mean you have clear legal rights to your property and the division of assets n the event of your passing. Hope this helps!

It does thanks!
What should he contribute weekly. We both earn around £800

Just split the bills, then he would have no claim on the house if the worst was to happen. I don’t think he should be paying towards the mortgage if he doesn’t have a stake in it. My friends do this and it’s worked well. The non-contributing partner saved and bought a buy to let so they have a property in their name.

We have a different situation, but the legal default is that your children will inherit your estate if you're not married. You can specify in your will that your partner can stay in the property for the rest of his life, without him inheriting it.

That sounds great . All bills?

So it's fine for tenants to pay a mortgage for a property they have no stake in, but not a partner?

Weird take. Why shouldn't a partner pay rent for somewhere they're living?

What is his living situation now? If he has a house I think he should keep it and rent it out.

I would not take any money for the mortgage and would still use your bank account for bills but allow him to transfer half of the bill money to your account each month. I know it’s a pessimistic way to think, but should he pay towards the mortgage or for any renovations or works to the property, he is able to place a restriction on the day list at the land registry which could hold up or dispute sale of the property in future if the relationship was to breakdown.

My mortgage will be £ 900 per month . Bills £ 1200 all in per month.

Sorry I meant to say, if you do wish for him to contribute to the mortgage too, the only way I think you would be able to do this without him having a claim is by drawing up some kind of tenancy agreement, which may not go down well with a partner I guess. Cohabitation agreement is a really good option, you can add as much or as little detail as you wish. Whilst they aren’t legally binding in statute, it is extremely rare they haven’t been successful as a case by case basis in UK law.

You can specify in your will that your partner can stay in the property for the rest of his life, without him inheriting it.

Just be aware that if you should go down this route your partner could survive for very many years after your death meaning your children would have to wait the same amount of time for their inheritance.

You need to take legal advice re this.

If all my house expenses are £2k + per month , should he pay £1k?- is that fair ?

does this help at all @itsautumnnow? (not that you'll be separating, just to protect your asset)

www.familylawgroup.co.uk/site/blog/flg-news/what-rights-do-you-have-to-your-home-if-you-separate

I would say halve all bills and household consumables, plus a token rent equivalent to about half of the mortgage interest (not mortgage repayments) as that's like rent, plus something small to cover wear and tear that he and his children might cause - eg if one breaks the loo seat or if you need to replace carpets and rugs he'll have partially contributed to that

Is he paying maintenance for his son? If you split everything 50/50 he’s paying much more towards your 3 kids than you’ll be to his one. He might he okay with that but he might not.

I agree. Where would your children live if you died and he is allowed to stay in the house until he dies ? Do they have another family member they could go and live with ?

I don’t understand why you would make your teenage children homeless in favour of your new partner.

Yes he pays £80 per week for his son plus usual big extras .

My children will be educated and working I expect by that stage . They will live at home if they so wish. They are
Close.

You should ensure you have a will and see a solicitor and a written cohabitation agreement drawn up by the solicitor. Also ensure he does not pay the mortgage or extensions to the property as that might give him an equitable interest.

Of course, that's a fair point.

What's the rush? Teenage years are tough, without a random adult moving in. This fora is filled with stories of this sort of thing going badly. Why not just move in together when all kids have left home?

I don’t understand why you would make your teenage children homeless in favour of your new partner.

Well said.

Does he not have a home of his own OP? Where did he house his kids before he met you? Where was he living?

Too little info really to give advice.

But I would never give up my home for the latest squeeze and where my kids maybe have years to have to come back to.

I love living alone. Men come and go. Nothing better than having your own security where kids are always welcome. That's just me though.

Exactly this! If your kids lose their mum, would be a slap in the face to not have access to her assets for possibly decades.

With respect, you have no idea when you will die. So you’d don’t know if your kids will be working or sitting their GCSEs.

And yes they might be close now. But many men who are
widowed meet another partner very quickly. He could easily move another woman in within a few months and move your kids out.