First post so please be gentle..
I have been with my partner for 2 years & I have a child from a previous relationship. We all live together and get on great.
We never tend to have sex of an evening as my DD is a teenager, the house is small and it’s not a very quiet activity. So morning tends to be the time we choose as I know she is deep asleep. However, we recently got a puppy. She sometimes wakes in the night and then again at around 5am, our sex life has dwindled to once a week when my partner usually comes home at lunchtime. We had discussed this and both agreed it would work for now as eventually the puppy will hold her bladder longer and life will go back to normal. The early mornings don’t bother me as I work from home so it allows me to make a start to the day.
Recently his behaviour towards me has changed and I am starting to question whether it is me as he repeatedly tells me I’m weird. He wakes me up 3/4 times a night to ask me for sex and if I say no his reaction makes me feel so low. He will swear, huff, puff, turn his back on me, talk in third person to the dog about me ignoring his needs. It’s almost as if he has a tantrum. When we do have sex he always says - ahh I feel better now, I’ll leave you alone for a couple of days. As if it was some sort of transaction. I am at a point where I do it for a quiet life.
Since we had the dog I get around 6 hours of sleep a night. He has never got out of bed to take her out, and I’ve accepted it’s my role so why can’t he accept I need to sleep?
Throughout the day yesterday he mentioned sex 19 times, and I know it may sound crazy for me to count but I literally feel like an emotional punch bag. I’m not withholding sex, it’s just not as many times a week as he would like.
His final words this morning were - I should be grateful he finds me attractive and wants sex with his gorgeous partner because a lot of men will get it from somewhere else. I replied to say there are also men who respect their partner and don’t make ultimatums.
I don’t know what to do next. I can’t talk to my family as I don’t want them to dislike him but I am really finding this difficult to cope with.
To top it all off he is adamant he wants a baby to which I’ve said we are not ready to do so, he’s given me no help with the dog and almost acts as if she didn’t exist even though he also wanted her. He said it isn’t what he thought it would be and I’m being selfish as a baby doesn’t compare. But after having one child, I think their are similarities in a puppy, I.e broken sleep, toilet training, constant need for attention, feeding..
I feel like this was a phase and would pass as life with the puppy gets easier. But his reaction is what’s really concerned me.
Am I being coerced?