Dating sites for the over 50’s

[WanderingNortherner]

Are there any good dating sites for the over 50’s?

Any success stories?

I have given up with Tinder, Bumble and Hinge!!!

@Boxerman I think it’s a minefield for men and women,

Yes. My opinion of OLD as a mid 40's women: I used Tinder for six months (this was right before the pandemic) and never did online dating after that (reasons explained below). I observed the following patterns:

1. 80% of men didn't bother to fill in their profile with words (they believe a close up of them holding a beer in a bad lit pub will have me chasing them and falling for their charms).

2. Plenty of guys misinterpreting themselves (like that "director of communications" posing with a suit and tie who lured me on a date but turned out to be a builder who had just gotten out of jail, the neck tattoos and dirty clothes where a bit of a give away).

3. 75% of guys just wanting sex hookups and future faking women.

4. Lot's of guys messaging me from other countries, who would have guessed that "penpals" and men looking for female validation is a thing nowadays.

5. 50% of the guys that messaged me were lad in their 20's looking for a "milf/cougar experience", they strongly believe a woman in her late 40's online is "fishing for fresh meat" (growing with porn has really done a number on young men).

6. After they matched me 80% of guys never messaged me (once that little dopamine hit has been reached by the "match" they go on to the next one, Swiping can be very addictive).

7. Plenty of married/partnered men leading a second life.

8. A few "very handsome military types" with fake pictures "on some sort of military mission around the world" who would love bomb you then ask you for money "to come and visit you".

Needles to say I found this online dating thing to be like a part time job where not only I was not getting paid but I didn't enjoy doing. I'm sure there's plenty of good men out there but I don't have the patience to go through all the faff. Nowadays I'd rather meet people who come with "references" the organic way. I'm such a dinosaur yay!

Loving the fox comment 😂😂

Beatrix

Very much my experience tho I did have lots of dates . Probably around a 100 . From those I had 2 very short lived flings , no one seems to be truthful initially on line . One of the men I was seeing was very respectable on the face of it , teacher , turned out he was into swinging and only told me 4 weeks in .

When I read some of the posts here I'm actually just pleased to be single . I certainly don't need a man . I don't think on line is a place to
Find anyone long term . I think there are many that are married or in relationships and lying , some just looking for some weird Dom/sub sex stuff ,. I came off most of the sites . I remained on bumble but it's just a huge disappointment.

So true!

@bemorebernard One of the men I was seeing was very respectable on the face of it , teacher , turned out he was into swinging and only told me 4 weeks in .

I don't think being a swinger makes you disrespectful in any way, for the same reason being monogamous doesn't makes you respectful either. I would also wait for a 4th date to disclose my sexual preferences (that includes swinging, BDSM or favourite positions lol) it's quite a personal thing to talk about. You want to get a feeling of the person before disclosing "certain things".

Beatrix I had to get tested for stds because he lied .
I didn't appreciate that . Telling someone you're a swinger after 4 weeks of sexual relations is lying by omission.

He started with condoms and dispenses with them when he gained my trust only to wreck it after 4
Weeks .

Anyway I'm off online dating . It's utter shite.

As someone whose been to quite a few swingers clubs I can tell you that everyone is religiously wearing a condom (unless they're partners). Swingers are very health conscious so you're most probably not going to get an STD from him but more likely from some "serial monogamous" guy keeping quiet about his drunken one night stands.

Well that scene wasn't for me .

Absolutely nothing wrong with that. I eventually discovered it was not for me either 😂

Wow.. what a market!

Oh Jesus one guy just told me my tits " court his eyes "

I give in

If your gonna try and insult me at least spell it right

No words

Me neither .

Dear God I’ve just had - oi oi u look like a naughty minx

Does any woman actually reply to this shit?

I've hidden my profile

They all talk shite !

Well - as a man in his early 50s I got bored of Tinder and tried Bumble. Never really clicked with anyone for three weeks, and rarely swiped "yes" and was ready to come off as it always feels like a bit of a meat market just swiping based on looks.

A particular profile changed all that for me - the photo lured me in the the profile text (yes - I read every one) really interested me. One super swipe later we were chatting, then arranged a date...

That was over five weeks ago and we have been totally besotted with each other since that very first date. The "trick" (if there ever is one) is that we were just totally ourselves from the start and neither of us wanted to compromise about anything with our next partner.

Yes - there are total dicks on there (men AND women) but just decide what you're after and be honest about it.

I think a lot of men on OLD could benefit from coming and reading some Mumsnet relationship threads for a bit and learning more about what a lot of women are looking for, and which things are off-putting to a lot of women. I feel like I've learned a lot here. It seems like someone whose opening line is so cringe-worthy either doesn't understand how to talk to most women or doesn't care.

not sure I would use the word grim, no one sends you tit pics, but it’s certainly depressing , as another poster alluded to if you are male and under 5ft 8 don’t even bother.

I would add if you are a man and over 50, it’s not really worth the effort, you inbox will be empty and very few likes,

i was chatting to a couple of women my age (53), who said they were looking for younger men (45 to 50).

OurTime should be renamed “Waste of time & money”

And I even know the difference between court and caught 😂

witham

well that’s nice !
but I agree with you
both fellows I met via OLD there was a spark and and ease comfort from day 1

now of course like everyone I had some challenging interactions

but I love stories like this as someone’s people do click

It's interesting to get a male perspective. I agree it can be depressing. I must admit I've never received (or sent!) any weird photos, but I find a get lots of likes from guys a lot older than me and who live VERY far away. I'm 60, by the way, but don't just look at younger men's profiles. Anyway, I imagine a lot of guys just send out loads of likes without even looking at where the woman lives! Like fishing with a huge net hoping you'll catch something 😀 With OurTime, I've only used it for free or when I get a special offer. Like other people have said, I really do think it's a numbers game. You have to have lots of time and patience. There are some nice people out there, but you have to be very careful and selective.😊

Why do you think so many women stick with older men who irritate them or no longer cut the mustard- because if the men are decent/good looking, bother with themselves and relatively solvent they will be inundated with possibilities by the both nice and attractive women mumsnetters you see on many posts here- whereas the reverse is true as a woman- there are far more well preserved , kind , well dressed and sparky single older women out there than there are men- the majority of whom turn into moaning opinionated grumps with various unsavoury habits post 55. The ones who aren't are usually still married!

Not sure I would 100% agree with this

on “OurTime” there were grumpy & frumpy older women who did plenty of moaning if given half the chance