Partner said: ‘I know which side my bread is buttered on’

[Beelips]

So tonight my partner and I (3-year relationship) were having a lighthearted chat and within a certain context he said jokingly: ‘I always knew I’d find myself a nice certain nationality girl’. I said: ’Yes, you’ve done well, they are the best’. To which he responded: ‘Trust me, I know, I know. I know which side my bread is buttered on’.

Now… English is not my first language so asking for others’ opinions as it’s the second time he’s used this phrase in relation to our relationship.

I don’t know if I’m misunderstanding the nuances of this saying but I don’t take it as a compliment, more of a ‘I know what’s to my advantage’, rather than saying something like (what I’d rather hear): ‘Yes, I’m so lucky, you are the best’, or similar.

Am I overthinking? (I didn’t say anything to him obviously).

It's quite self satisfied and smug, he's made a good choice. He's thinking of himself rather than you.

I'd take it as a compliment. He does mean he knows whats to his advantage or when he's on to a good thing. The luck that he has you is implied.

It's a compliment - it means he knows how lucky he is.

I'd be more concerned that he's with you because you are a stereotype to him.

Yep, compliment.

It's means he knows he's got a good thing with you.

He knows you are the butter elevating his dry bread (his life) to a feast
So you make his life better

Take it as a compliment.

It means he knows he’s onto a good thing.
it is a compliment

Same

It means that he knows what to say or how to behaviour to stay in your good books! It's funny and nice!

Ot means he knows he's lucky. That he's 'punching' above his level with you.

It's a compliment not delivered brilliantly.

Do you like him? Does he treat you well?

It is to do with HIS behaviour and currying favour - not you!

Compliment, he knows that he is getting the butter side of the bread by having you rather than dry and less good bread which he’d have without you.

He likes you! It's a compliment.

You are of a certain heritage and he likes it.

Lovely, where's the problem?

It's a slightly odd phrase to have used. I wonder if he truly knows the meaning of the phrase.

I think probably overall it's a positive. The only type of situation where I can think of it as a negative is if it relates to a known stereotype: eg you are Filipino and he wants you to do a good job of cleaning the home (as well as being his partner). Knowing which side your bread is buttered is kind of behaving in such a way as not to compromise something you are receiving that you like.

He probably just likes being with you and wouldn't do anything to jeopardise it.

This

I take it as meaning that he knows he has a good thing going and isn't going to do anything to spoil that.
He values his current situation with you.

Yes, I was thinking this tbh.
What do you think Op?

Yes exactly this.

Do you mind me asking what nationality you are, just being nosying as to which one is special 😅
Agree with the majority, I don’t think he meant anything negative

I think it's a light-hearted, warm joke — if I said to my DP that Northern women (I'm Northern) are the best, he might agree, and then add "I know which side my bread's buttered on", meaning "Of course, I have to say that I agree that Northern girls are the best, because you're Northern and I need to stay in your good books". But all jokey and meant well.

It's usually to do with finances isn't it? So someone on an average wage might say this if their partner earned a lot more

I think it is a northern (English) dialect phrase, which just means I know how lucky I am (which southern English people would say). In some places his phrase would be more natural, so I think you may be overthinking it.

Definitely a compliment, I also know which side my butter's on and we've been together 36 years 😊

Yes