Confused...should I divorce him or am I overreacting?

[Loui07]

I've been married for just under 2 years and recently have given birth. Our relationship was put to the test since then. He's ott about me going out with baby especially when going to London which is where my family are.
Bearing in mind it'd only a 55 minute journey. He refused to let me stay over the night his excused are oh he's only 1 month old and I don't want him away from me. My family would like me to stay with them and I'm always stuck in the middle. He's disrespectful towards my mum and during a heated argument he told her to go home. He's not understanding or compassionate and likes to control my every move. I will always choose my parents over him no matter what. But I feel as though if he can't get on with his in laws and vice versa then what marriage is this ?
I don't want to get divorced but I don't see a way out!

Depending on who you get, the judge may well decide that it is in best interest of the child to have both parents as present in child's life as much as possible. Especially if the father claims willingness to take care of the child (even if its not true).

it's not about scaring anyone, im just saying she should be prepared and not just cover her ears and assume everything is going to be fine - her ex can cause her a major headache, and she already said she dislikes conflict. the better prepared she is, the less stressful this whole thing will be

and as for real life examples: my friend is stuck living in the same town as her ex, unable to move to her hometown, because if she did this she would limit the time he could spend with their child and be back at court (again).

One thing I agree with: OP should put herself first, not her husband or her parents.

@PaintedEgg

By all means - extrapolate from one case. With different circumstances.

If OP wants to change her circumstances - and not wait while it becomes harder - now is the time.

Once baby is older - goes to nursery, school - has friends and established life routines - moving away is indeed is not really possible. As is the case of your friend - Painted. At that point - child’s relationship with father is established on a different level.

At 2mo - the law is firmly on the mother’s side - and especially if the mother is the breastfeeding primary carer. Its not questioned. And H’s saying - i am willing to bottle feed at night and take care of baby - doesn't change anything.

So - OP can (should?) move with her parents for support if this is what she wants.

So why did you choose to marry him if he has no respect for you or your family?

It was 1 night!!!

Do you really this so low of yourself , that you feel this is ALL you deserve for you and your babies life. What a heartbreaking thought. This is no way to be treated by anyone, especially some who for some unknown reason is your husband. What did you see in him: love, security, support, kindness.... Do you want your child to mirror their father. The will do as they see. If this unstable, insecure person wants to CONTROL you so much, that is a huge red flag. When I say huge, I mean ginormous! There's no way in hell, I would subject myself or my precious offspring to this type of person for the foreseeable future. It will not get better. The fact you put up with it will only get worse. 20 years when you've had enough you will ask yourself why you didn't leave sooner.

The question is: why do you not want to divorce him, is it fear?

A disrespectful, controlling husband vs supporting family. That's not really a difficult choice, is it.

Hi @Loui07 , just wondered if you wanted to share an update? I have only just recently read your post and noticed it was placed back in September. I placed my own post last year questioning my own Husbands behaviour and the people on here helped me admit what I already knew which was that my husband was indeed controlling and abusive and that my relationship was toxic. Since then I have not looked back.
I think you know exactly who/what your husband is and exactly what you should do about it but sometimes it takes the voices of others to give us the courage to do it.
I hope that you and your baby are happy and healthy and if you are still looking for guidance PLEASE keep posting. Xx