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Original poster

Boyfriend more bothered about strangers feelings than mine

116 replies

Judepol · 05/09/2023 13:53

My boyfriend took me out for a meal. I ordered a burger. I went to put some sauce on the burger and the chef had cut out a triangle piece of beef bigger than a 50p piece. I told the waiter who looked about 17 and he said they have to cut out the beef to see if it is cooked. Now I know that is a lie as I worked in catering and there are temperature probes to check.

I told him why should I pay for something with the beef missing which is the most expensive part and he said 'that's the way it is'. I told him I won't be eating the meal. He looked shocked and said they will get another burger. I waited 10 minutes and a waitress came over and the same happened again a large chunk of beef cut out. I had to ask then for some extra chips as they had not got any common sense to recompense me.

My boyfriend at the end, paid by card and then told me he gave a £2.50 tip as he felt sorry for one of the waitresses. I was furious as they had given such a bad service. I told him as the tip was not paid by cash the waitress will not receive the tip.

I think it is absurd that my boyfriend is sticking up for strangers and not supporting me, he should not have paid a tip as he is condoning their actions.

I'm sick of him being a people pleaser. He doesn't like confrontation so will defend the person in the wrong and has a fear of upsetting a stranger than his girlfriend.

OP posts:
SD1978 · 05/09/2023 17:53

I wouldn't accept a big chunk of my meal missing- that's bloody ridiculous- and I have never seen a place check if a burger is cooked by turning it into a beef donut. I wouldn't care who was paying- if the meal isnt up to scratch, then it isn't. Whilst I accept the waitress is young and it really isn't her fault, I probably would have escalated it to someone because I'm fecked if anyone is paying full price for a meat donut. The tipping, that's his right but the meal sounded inadequate

MumGMT · 05/09/2023 17:56

I would have been mortified if I was your boyfriend tbh.

I'm sick of him being a people pleaser. He doesn't like confrontation so will defend the person in the wrong and has a fear of upsetting a stranger than his girlfriend.

Do you have any other examples?

Because this doesn't sound like a situation where you needed to be defended.

Brefugee · 05/09/2023 18:18

Tiny2018 · 05/09/2023 17:07

I'm exactly like your boyfriend OP. I think life's hard enough for people (particularly those in hospitality and retail who take all manner of flack from general public) without making their life harder.

Things have to be pretty bad for me to make a complaint and I admit I am embarassed when others do so, often over something pretty inconsequential, but accept this is their choice. I would have accepted first response personally.

I actually think it sounds like your partner has a lot of empathy, which is a lovely trait in a man.

then you're part of the problem why service is getting worse.

It is very easy to complain to the waiter without making it a drama. The chef is at fault here (and nobody going to comment on why OPs burger had a chunk missing but the man got a whole one with nothing missing?)

If we accept shoddy goods and services, the companies offering them will - rightly - assume that is all they have to offer.

Bollocks to that.

momager1 · 05/09/2023 18:37

first off. no excuse to be rude to a server. If they are rude to you, take it up with management. Second. Just sold my restaurant and retired in April this year, steak and burger place (and I am a red seal chef, canadian cert) if it looked like a wedge was out It prob wasn't but it was a poorly trained chef who cut into it (bad idea) to see if it was done, it was still undercooked so put it back on, the heat of the grill shrunk it more as they do when they cook so it looked pulled apart. Any cook or chef worth their salt will not cut a steak or a burger as it releases all the juice an makes for a dry meal. A chef will be able to touch test both meats to know the doneness, a cook with less experience should always have a probe thermometer .

toomuchforonewoman · 05/09/2023 19:22

There's a hole in my burger Dear Liza, Dear Liza, there's a hole in my burger Dear Lisa..a hole.

swimlyn · 05/09/2023 19:41

Ps the kitchen I worked in always cut into it to check how it was cooked. A probe won't tell you if it's rare or medium rare your eyes will

Um… rare or medium rare for minced burger meat? Are you insane?

Maddy70 · 05/09/2023 19:54

swimlyn · 05/09/2023 19:41

Ps the kitchen I worked in always cut into it to check how it was cooked. A probe won't tell you if it's rare or medium rare your eyes will

Um… rare or medium rare for minced burger meat? Are you insane?

No good burgers are made from good beef and are served rare medium well etc. I'm not talking McDonald's!

Maddy70 · 05/09/2023 20:02

swimlyn · 05/09/2023 19:41

Ps the kitchen I worked in always cut into it to check how it was cooked. A probe won't tell you if it's rare or medium rare your eyes will

Um… rare or medium rare for minced burger meat? Are you insane?

It's well known;) sorry I can't edit post on the app otherwise I would have included this before

Boyfriend more bothered about strangers feelings than mine
swimlyn · 05/09/2023 20:30

For that purpose there’s no such thing as ‘good’ burgers @Maddy70. What would good even mean? As opposed to bad?

The only beef burgers to be served raw/blue/rare etc etc, are when YOU freshly minced the beef yourself, shaped the patty, and cooked it IMMEDIATELY.

OP is talking about beef.

Brefugee · 05/09/2023 20:33

plenty of good commercial establishments sell their burgers cooked rare or medium rare.
In the US it is A Thing.
Frankly? one of my favourite things to eat is either blue steak (tornados rossini for choice) or steak tartre (sp?). Medium is how i prefer burgers for choice.

Maddy70 · 05/09/2023 20:33

swimlyn · 05/09/2023 20:30

For that purpose there’s no such thing as ‘good’ burgers @Maddy70. What would good even mean? As opposed to bad?

The only beef burgers to be served raw/blue/rare etc etc, are when YOU freshly minced the beef yourself, shaped the patty, and cooked it IMMEDIATELY.

OP is talking about beef.

I'm afraid you're wrong Go into any good restaurant and you will be asked how you would like your burger cooked as long as its prepared and stored properly no issue. The same as steak tartar etc

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 05/09/2023 21:26

I mean I actually can't believe they had the front to send the 2nd burger out with the chunk missing again after you'd complained about the first for that very thing.
I wouldn't have paid for the shit burger.

Original poster
Judepol · 05/09/2023 22:39

@FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren Some scam going on with chunks missing from a 2nd burger too. It would be interesting to see how the other branches are.

OP posts:
swimlyn · 06/09/2023 00:45

@Maddy70
I'm afraid you're wrong. Up to you. Your guts, your choice.

From the food standards agency website:

https://www.food.gov.uk/safety-hygiene/burgers#why-a-burger-isn-t-like-a-steak

"Harmful bacteria can be carried on the surface of whole cuts of meat. When a rare steak is seared these bacteria are killed, making the steak safe to eat.

When meat is minced to produce burgers, any harmful bacteria from the surface of the raw meat spread throughout the burger. Unless the burger is cooked right through, these bacteria can remain alive on the inside. This applies to all burgers, including burgers made from good quality or expensive meat.

That's why a burger needs to be served well done, while a steak can be served rare."

I guess you should tell THEM they are wrong.

Burgers

Food safety advice when preparing burgers at home and when eating burgers in restaurants

https://www.food.gov.uk/safety-hygiene/burgers#why-a-burger-isn-t-like-a-steak

WandaWonder · 06/09/2023 00:56

If I have a genuine complaint I personally calmly complain about my individual problem, I don't care what other people around me do or not but I keep it calm and simple and move on, if a person with me wants to tip that is up to them

OP you seem high maintenance

Wallywobbles · 06/09/2023 05:30

If you took any photos just review the restaurant with the evidence

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