Using a condom

[karlaka]

After the second date, I had sex with the guy I met through university.
We started making out and it was obvious we would end up having sex. He was about to put his dick in, then I asked him to use a condom. He immediately put on one. We had sex and fell asleep. During the night, we both woke up and started making out. We had sex again, this time without a condom. I didn't say anything, and he didn't initiate using one either.
When I later brought up the topic and asked if he does this often, he said that he used to find condoms arousing and that he wouldn't do it otherwise. He mentioned that he trusted me right away because I had emphasized the use of a condom the first time, and he felt secure with that.
What would you think? Would you believe him? Would you continue seeing this guy? Or do you think he did nothing wrong and I was just as much a part of this?

He probably does this thing often. I wouldn't go back.

No it was not rapey at all. She knew he wasn't wearing one and herself got caught up and didn't want to stop to say put it on

But why was he trying to do that anyway when he knew she'd prefer to use a condom based on her early comments?

It's pushy and I think it's rape TBH. Otherwise OP wouldn't be this bothered. She doesn't say she got into it, just that she didn't say anything (many women find that they don't- it's the fight/flight/freeze/flop response.)

Even if she did really get into it before he penetrated her, it's still pushy/creepy of him as he knew she wanted to use one based on her previous comments.

That’s not what she said at all. She didn’t say she ‘got caught up’. She didn’t say she ‘didn’t want to stop’.

Maybe you can clarify where you’ve got that info from, so that I can see where other people are coming from.

She went along with it, yes. That’s a very different thing than being ‘caught up’ and ‘not wanting to stop’.

Nobody would be saying anything if they just grew up and put a condom on every time without being asked every time.

So now a grown woman who has consensual sex - that’s now rape?? Jesus effing Christ. What a load of bollocks
there is no hint of coercion or op not wanting to, although I expect story will probably start to change now people putting stupid ideas in her head !

It's the kind of stupidity that ends up with court cases being thrown out and women who really need help and support being denied it.

He trusted you?! What the fuck is that meant to mean? Trusted that you’d get an abortion if he got you pregnant? No doubt he’d be the type to cry about a woman trapping him 🙄

Most men, in my experience don’t suggest condoms, or even ask if you’re on the pill. You have to advocate for yourself every single time.

Pack it in, women like OP are not the reason rapists get off FFS. MEN re solely to blame for rape.