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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What's wrong with my husband?

210 replies

Redlegged · 27/08/2023 19:33

I really don't know which section to post this but I'm pulling my hair out and doctors are useless so I'm hoping someone will say "oh I know what that is..."

My husband has a history of mental health problems, but not since we met. He can't handle stress at all well and gets overloaded quite easily.

He had some kind of nervous breakdown a couple of years ago which seemed a bit abnormal to me. He got paranoia and behaved in some strange ways. I would say he seemed depressed but it seemed like more than that. It was some sort of episode.

He saw the GP at the time for numerous physical complaints - stomach aches and so on, but the GP found nothing. The GP said he felt he needed mental healthcare but DH refused (he's VERY anti this due to traumatic past experience as a teen).

This episode where he was very extreme seemed to go on for 3 months, then he was listless for months.

After that he got better but we had to change our life significantly to remove all stress. Then he got covid. Not sure if that's relevant but it might be so I'm putting it in.

Then about six after the episode he got joint pain and fatigue. That's escalated and escalated to a point where we don't do anything or go anywhere. He wakes up in the night in pain, he wakes up in the morning in pain, he is always exhausted.

He gets an extremely swollen abdomen. He's developed allergies to foods and pollen. Painkillers do nothing. It's worst in the morning. Stress exacerbates it.

Now he's developed a heart problem. He's only 41 and was a keen cyclist with exceptional fitness and we eat like vegans! His heart has always been fine.

We've seen doctors and had every test and everything comes back negative. They're not really helping us, we just get passed from pillar to post.

Does anyone have any ideas?

I'm at my wits end. He doesn't even have energy to speak to me.

OP posts:
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Redlegged · 27/08/2023 19:36

Sorry, what I meant to ask is...

could this be long covid?

could it be linked to his breakdown?

could he have an autoimmune disease that's just not being detected?

are there any private doctors in the UK anyone can recommend for help?

has anyone had similar?

OP posts:
Redlegged · 27/08/2023 19:40

Tests he's had:

Full set of General blood tests several times
Full set of autoimmunity blood tests
Ultrasound of abdomen
Camera up but

They've found nothing every time.

OP posts:
loulouljh · 27/08/2023 19:40

Was he vaccinated? There are alot of people suffering from vaccine injury..

Redlegged · 27/08/2023 19:42

Yes, he was vaccinated twice.

Once about two months after his "breakdown" and once six months later.

The physical symptoms appeared 5 months after his first vaccination.

OP posts:
Torturedsoul · 27/08/2023 19:43

Sounds like my experience with Long Covid and the POTS and MCAS that came with it. I wasn't vaccinated at the time so not a vaccine injury. Look up the above and see if it rings bells.

I am exhausted from the above so can't message much at mo but it does all sound really familiar.

loulouljh · 27/08/2023 19:45

Hope you get to the bottom of it...

Redlegged · 27/08/2023 19:47

Doctors say not ME.

I just feel like they're missing something.

His heart wasn't just beating fast - he's got inverted T Waves and Dr Internet says a number of diseases can cause this.

OP posts:
Redlegged · 27/08/2023 19:50

@Torturedsoul no, this doesn't sound like what he's got.

I've done loads of searching and the closest diseases seem to be rheumatoid arthritis and crohns disease. But he's tested negative for both, twice.

OP posts:
EmilyBrontesGhost · 27/08/2023 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Redlegged · 27/08/2023 19:55

Full symptoms:

Severe joint pain in hands, feet, hips, shoulder blades and back. Back is by far the worst.

Inverted T waves in his heart rhythm

Extreme fatigue, not relieved by sleep

Brain fog

Onset of allergic reactions

Very severe headaches

Depression and anxiety

Extreme abdominal bloating (like a football)

Itchy eyes and skin rashes

OP posts:
GarlicGrace · 27/08/2023 19:55

Back when he was fit, did he do a lot of walking in long grass/shrubs? Did he have an unexplained rash at any time? Tick-borne disease is on the increase in the UK.

IBS
Lactose intolerance
Liver disease
Pancreatic disease

I assume he's being tested for all the above.

I have ME-CFS; it's a diagnosis of exclusion, so it's not really any help except you know you haven't got cancer right now Confused

A lot of what you've said does point to an autoimmune disorder. You may just have to keep excluding food groups and other potential irritants until you find what makes things worse or better! Also, see if his GP will give him a short course of steroids to see if it helps.

Sounds horrid. Good luck!

GarlicGrace · 27/08/2023 19:56

Sounds like a vaccine injury to me.

Or a Covid injury.

Redlegged · 27/08/2023 19:57

@EmilyBrontesGhost Thanks Emily. I find it a bit of a coincidence all this appeared right after an absolutely huge mental health episode though?

OP posts:
Torturedsoul · 27/08/2023 19:57

These are symptoms of MCAS, lots of crossover with your list.

What's wrong with my husband?
Redlegged · 27/08/2023 19:59

@GarlicGrace I feel its an autoimmune disorder because it comes in flares.

He's been tested for all that except pancreatic disease.

Yes, he did heaps of hiking but no strange rashes.

I did suggest we ask for steroids just to see if it will help.

OP posts:
GarlicGrace · 27/08/2023 20:02

Covid targets blood vessels. Even in relatively mild infections, it can leave lasting damage in blood-rich organs, and even lurk undetected in some. This article's about severe neurological issues caused by Covid:

How COVID-19 Affects the Brain, Even Long After an Infection

It's been linked to brain fog, dementia, stroke, and more.

https://time.com/6294762/how-covid-19-affects-brain-memory

GarlicGrace · 27/08/2023 20:03

@Redlegged - Good, the steroids should help to illuminate whether it's an 'inflammation' problem.

Faz469 · 27/08/2023 20:03

Riverlee · 27/08/2023 19:44

This was my first thought too

EmilyBrontesGhost · 27/08/2023 20:03

Redlegged · 27/08/2023 19:57

@EmilyBrontesGhost Thanks Emily. I find it a bit of a coincidence all this appeared right after an absolutely huge mental health episode though?

We're living through a time of coincidences OP, unfortunately.

All I will say is (because my posts get removed I can't say too much) there are thousands and thousands of injured people, and you will get nowhere with the NHS.

You need a doctor that isn't blinkered, and one who cares.

You'll struggle to find that in NHS, sadly.

Redlegged · 27/08/2023 20:04

@Torturedsoul that does have a lot of crossover, but by far his most central symptom is the debilitating pain. I'll ask the GP about it though, although at this point I think we're just going to pay and go private.

OP posts:
FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 27/08/2023 20:05

Polymyalgia or fibromyalgia?
Symptoms sound similar to those reported by a friend of mine.

Torturedsoul · 27/08/2023 20:08

The pain is awful from Long Covid. I am awaiting rheumatology diagnosis too to try and get a full idea of what is going on. There are so many points of crossover with the POTS, MCAS and whatever is going on with my joints. I'll be glad to have a final diagnosis.

I wish your husband well. If it is covid related, Drs still have so much to learn so you may need to try and get several specialists involved.

StorminanDcup · 27/08/2023 20:08

Lyme Disease

there was a post on here the other day by a lady who had been basically bed ridden for a couple of years and suffering all sorts of pain and medical issues. Sorry I can’t remember the thread so I can’t link it. But Lyme disease is an autoimmune condition and can also cause serious mental health issues when not treated.

Might be worth the tests to rule it out.

parentaldramas · 27/08/2023 20:10

When did he get covid? I know someone who was infected right at the beginning, and she got seriously unwell both during Covid itself and afterwards - she now suffers with a mix of conditions that would otherwise seem confusing and unrelated. But her doc is certain it's long Covid, and that the aftermath is worse because it was an early strain.

Alternatively, have you looked into psychosomatic illnesses? I had debilitating stomach cramps when I was younger but all my tests came back fine, turned out to be anxiety even though I never "felt" it in the traditional way. I know you said therapy is out of the question and I really do sympathize as my OH is similarly resistant. But maybe you could read up on it on your own and see if anything clicks?

Not so sure about these vaccine injury comments... yikes