What's wrong with my husband?

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I really don't know which section to post this but I'm pulling my hair out and doctors are useless so I'm hoping someone will say "oh I know what that is..."

My husband has a history of mental health problems, but not since we met. He can't handle stress at all well and gets overloaded quite easily.

He had some kind of nervous breakdown a couple of years ago which seemed a bit abnormal to me. He got paranoia and behaved in some strange ways. I would say he seemed depressed but it seemed like more than that. It was some sort of episode.

He saw the GP at the time for numerous physical complaints - stomach aches and so on, but the GP found nothing. The GP said he felt he needed mental healthcare but DH refused (he's VERY anti this due to traumatic past experience as a teen).

This episode where he was very extreme seemed to go on for 3 months, then he was listless for months.

After that he got better but we had to change our life significantly to remove all stress. Then he got covid. Not sure if that's relevant but it might be so I'm putting it in.

Then about six after the episode he got joint pain and fatigue. That's escalated and escalated to a point where we don't do anything or go anywhere. He wakes up in the night in pain, he wakes up in the morning in pain, he is always exhausted.

He gets an extremely swollen abdomen. He's developed allergies to foods and pollen. Painkillers do nothing. It's worst in the morning. Stress exacerbates it.

Now he's developed a heart problem. He's only 41 and was a keen cyclist with exceptional fitness and we eat like vegans! His heart has always been fine.

We've seen doctors and had every test and everything comes back negative. They're not really helping us, we just get passed from pillar to post.

Does anyone have any ideas?

I'm at my wits end. He doesn't even have energy to speak to me.

The idea that mental and physical health are two entirely separate things is so outdated. The exhaustion and stress from a breakdown can have a knock on effect in your physical health. When you’re run down you feel worse, your immune system isn’t as effective etc. Covid just adds to the mix and it can have long term effects on your immune system including inducing autoimmune conditions. Nobody really understands what the virus can do and so there are millions of different responses to it.

Just asked him and apparently we have ruled out Lyme Disease.

Fibromyalgia and long covid are on the table but I just struggle with believing he is THIS sick from Fibromyalgia. Particularly as he does everything he's meant to do :(

yes I thought Lyme disease too

There is a lot of evidence about a link between trauma in childhood and illnesses like the ones you describe. You also mention he has anxiety and depression now. I would encourage him to try therapy. I know he doesn't want to, but it might help him.

Coeliac?

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/haemochromatosis/

this?

Read a book like "The body keeps the score" by Bessel van der Kolk, which will give you more detail on how this happens.

@parentaldramas its definitely not psychosomatic but it's definitely made a lot worse by stress.

He got covid a year after it did the first round so it wasn't the first strain.

Could you provide the empirical evidence for this claim?

OP, you need to press on with trying to get a diagnosis. Diagnosis by MumsNet will get you some outlandish advice. If nothing else is evident it could be fibromyalgia. A friend of mine developed this and it defied diagnosis.

He had a colonoscopy and no evidence of coeliac. He's not eaten gluten for a year though as we find it makes his pain worse.

He had teenage trauma (abuse) which was when he had his first mental health episode.

I hate to say this but my friend was a awful lot worse with fibro. Don't exclude it.

Long covid.

It does sound like something autoimmune. Just fyi I have rheumatoid arthritis and the first lot of blood tests came back negative - the second blood tests taken about 6 months later came back positive for RA. How far apart were the blood tests you said he had?

@Quitelikeit it can't be that-normal iron levels

I suffer from long covid. I’d put money on that being the diagnosis

@Magicpaintbrush okay....I'll keep that in mind thank you.

Could he have celiac disease? My friend had glandular fever which then triggered celiac disease in adulthood. She had many of the same symptoms as your husband - the main one was fatigue, she used to sleep 14+ hours a day and the doctors wouldn't take her seriously for ages.

Since being diagnosed and avoiding gluten she's gotten much better. Maybe the COVID virus triggered the same in your DH? Could be worth testing

Is he very overweight?
Have there been any signs or positive results in tests at all? Eg showing inflammation or abnormal x rays etc etc ?

Did he have anti psychotics ?

He's not at all overweight.

I don't know if he took any medication when he was younger but if he did it was twenty years ago

That's pretty much everything I had before coeliac diagnosis, but blood test didn't pick it up initially

@stayclosetoyourself all his tests have been completely normal. Aside from his recent ecg.

I had exactly the same symptoms as your husband. The gp was useless and prescribed painkillers and physio. I was in agony for months got to the point of not being able to put my under wear on or brush hair was in absolute agony couldn’t move,was like my body was shutting down. I was so frightened. .I lost my job because occupation health couldn’t say how long I’d be off. What saved me…seeing a locum gp who recognised I had inflammatory markers. She prescribed prednisone (steroids) she said if it was what she suspected polymyalgic rheumatica,the steroids would act virtually immediately. Well they did.I then had a fast track to a rheumatologist who said it was polymalgia and I’ve been on a tapering dose of steroids all year. A bloody miracle. The rheumatologist said he’s seen quite a few cases after covid or the covid jab. He recommended not having the covid booster which I won’t. So I’d recommend seeing another gp and asking about poly myalgia.

@Truemilk but he hasn't eaten gluten for a year and still has all these symptoms?

Also suggesting coeliac disease, I was diagnosed this year. Sounds like me