Would you date a 39 year old who is twice divorced and engaged a further time.

[cheltsam83]

Quick poll and thoughts. I've started to date someone. Lots in common and I'm attracted to them. They have told me they are twice divorced and also been engaged a further time.

One thing I have noticed is they are very intense and throw themselves into things in a big way.

Should this be a red flag. They are 39.

Simple answer - no

I wouldn't be taking it any further...too impulsive, too intense, too flighty, no thanks!

No. Everything you mention + they/them pronouns wouldn't float my boat.

Hmm, probably too intense for me, too much drama! So no.

I'd been divorced twice by 42. It didn't make me a nutter, I'd just married two of them!

Yes and been together 21 years 😊

Ugh very difficult to say... It could be bad luck. But then again you're suggesting it's their personality - so it feels to you likely this person is a bit flighty, intense, dramatic... probably not worth it for a serious relationship?

I suppose it also depends on where you are? Have you also ever been married etc?

I wouldn't.

The ‘very intense’ thing would put me off. So no.

Kids involved? Hard no. No kids - maybe - a bit of dating time to tell.

No.

The fact you are even asking this means you know things are “off” here. Run OP and do t look back.

If there were children on the scene then I wouldn't.
If there weren't children then might consider it depending on their personality and hearing more about their history.

The fact you say they seem impulsive and rush things would be a red flag to em though.

My dad was married twice before meeting my mum. They were happily married over 40 years. Don't rush into marriage with him but no reason to dump.

Well, YOU don’t have to marry him right away. You could actually date him a bit and see?
He could have childhood trauma which he’s worked on, or all sorts of other reasons why. It could be bad luck, who knows. Why not get to know him rather than relying on strangers judgement?

I would. But be cautious of love bombing. I dated again in my mid 40s. I’d come out of one very long term relationship. But came across people who’d had 2 or 3 longish relationships by this stage. Occasional marriage in there. How long were the relationships? The bigger red flag would be if they hadn’t had any longterm relationships- so if they were all 2-3 years, with a marriage on there as well, I’d question it.

Yes it's a red flag and no I wouldn't get emotionally attached to them.

No I wouldn't be interested. Does he have children?

No.

And is his name, Ross?

Interesting responses so far. In answer to some of the questions raised. No I've not been married. They have one child with the last x. And three step children they are close to.

They were married at 25 divorced after a year. Married again at 27 divorced after eight years.

H.

Given they only have one biological child, and one of the marriages lasted a decent amount of time, their history wouldn't necessarily be a problem to me.

Their intensity would be though, but that's just me.

No