just got a text from his girlfriend

[sopissedoff1]

NC for this. Have been seeing a guy for a few weeks. We matched on an app and were chatting loads, including sexting, sending pics, and talking on the phone. We had a date last week and slept together. All great, as far as.i knew.

Today I get a message from his number, but it's his girlfriend - who I had no idea existed - saying she's obviously found his phone and he's cheated on her with not just me but other women too.

I thought I had a pretty good radar for this sort of thing and when I've seen red flags with other men I've dumped them straight away. But this guy - I totally believed he was single, and he seemed so convincing. There was nothing that made me think I should be worried. The only thing was his communication was a bit sporadic at times. That bothered me a bit but it wasn't enough to clue me in.

I feel sick about the situation and just horrified for his partner. Not sure what advice anyone can give me. Is there something more I should have been looking out for? I mean, obviously there was, but he was so convincing.

Why would he pretend to be his girlfriend? I guess I can't be sure but that seems even more fucked up! Can't imagine why he would do that.

If it is him doing that then he's messed up, if it's his girlfriend he's still messed up. Steer clear.

I'd say to the girlfriend that you'll organise a date with him and then meet her there 20 minutes early, when he walks into the bar he'll see you both and face embarrassment in public. Jerk.

Oh no way am I ever going to see or speak with him ever again! I'm disgusted that I ever had anything to do with him.

And apparently I'm not the only woman he's been seeing.

I have regular STI checks anyway but definitely want to make sure of that, too. The whole situation is utterly grim.

Happened to me, I was dating him for 10 months
Turned out he was engaged and had been with her 10 years. I didn't have a clue

I think some men/ people in general are pathological liars and cheaters and are very convincing because they've done it repeatedly for a long time. You shouldn't beat yourself up for not figuring it out sooner. There are clearly multiple other women out there he's stringing along too, including his poor girlfriend!

I think all you can do is break it off with him and be thankful you've dodged a bullet and not invested years into a relationship with him.

You have not dine s anything wring as you were not aware of her existence. As some people have said, some people have this down to an art form. I hope she has got rid of him.

There's another recent thread about this with lots of people posting about not knowing they were the OW, you're not the only one to be played by a wanker

I hope none of the photos you sent him had your face in op? 😳

Yes some of them were of my face. But I think any sexy pics were set to 'view once'. There were some very explicit voice notes too. I feel a bit violated tbh.

That's horrendous. I honestly thought I would be able to tell but I had zero clue. Thought he was genuine and lovely.

That’s his imaginary girlfriend texting you…seriously, it’s him! He got the shag he was after and this is his get out.

That's the thing with online dating - you can never be sure what the person is about.

Learn from this! I don't think you can size somebody up within a few weeks. Did nothing give it away? Him not being able to text at certain times of an evening etc?

Yes some of them were of my face. But I think any sexy pics were set to 'view once'. There were some very explicit voice notes too. I feel a bit violated tbh.

There is no such thing as 'view once'.

I really don't want to seem prudish, but why would you send explicit photos of yourself and sexts to someone you've never met in person. You have no idea who you're sending stuff to.

Why not just block me? That seems like a lot of effort to go to when he could just stop messaging. It's not like I was chasing him. I am dating other people (he knows about this).

Red flags - well sexting and swapping pics before you've even met are obvious standouts! How well can you know someone on a first date when diving in? - not that there's anything wrong with either if you accept you're both scratching an itch rather than aiming for anything meaningful. You knew he was a horndog from the off, so the chances were higher that he's a guy totally lead by his dick, and the examples of that were many. It's really not surprising.

Is this really a thing? Omg how cowardly.

OP if it’s really his gf consider it “bullet dodged! “ Hopefully she will ditch him now.

Maybe get to know someone a bit better before intimacy next time if you’re worried about the photos etc but that’s obviously up to you.

Apparently it's his work phone which he's left at home while he's on holiday with his kids. I don't understand why people think it's him pretending to be his girlfriend 🤣 Maybe it is but it would be a hell of a lot easier just to not message me! And she is suspicious because he's cheated before. If it's him, he has constructed a verrrry elaborate lie!

There is no such thing as ‘view once’ - screen shot?

Please be careful - you can fully see how little you can trust some of the people you’re engaging with.

What was ur response to ‘her’ texting from his phone?

You're right of course, it's a risk connecting with someone online. But as a pp above said, I'm not the only person to have been fooled by a cheater. He was very convincing.

For those who are keen to tell me what a fool I am, fine, but I'm not going to take the blame for the fact that some dickhead guy lied and cheated. I wanted some adult fun and was convinced he was single and a nice person.

I definitely will learn from this experience, but I'm not going to be made to feel ashamed of whatever mistakes I made. I'm not the scumbag here 🤷‍♀️

Pretty sure you can't screenshot view once pics on WhatsApp.

We've had a long conversation. She had a lot of questions and I answered them as best I could.