just got a text from his girlfriend

[sopissedoff1]

NC for this. Have been seeing a guy for a few weeks. We matched on an app and were chatting loads, including sexting, sending pics, and talking on the phone. We had a date last week and slept together. All great, as far as.i knew.

Today I get a message from his number, but it's his girlfriend - who I had no idea existed - saying she's obviously found his phone and he's cheated on her with not just me but other women too.

I thought I had a pretty good radar for this sort of thing and when I've seen red flags with other men I've dumped them straight away. But this guy - I totally believed he was single, and he seemed so convincing. There was nothing that made me think I should be worried. The only thing was his communication was a bit sporadic at times. That bothered me a bit but it wasn't enough to clue me in.

I feel sick about the situation and just horrified for his partner. Not sure what advice anyone can give me. Is there something more I should have been looking out for? I mean, obviously there was, but he was so convincing.

No unprotected sex. Maybe it doesn't make any difference but I was under the impression he wasn't having sex with anyone. I should have asked him to get tested though before I had sex with him, in any case.

I wanted sex without commitment.

I mean that I fancied him physically but didn't have any romantic feelings for him.

That's horrendous. Thank god I found out quickly.

Right, thank you.

Him having a girlfriend is a bit crap but in the grand scheme of things, he could be doing all sorts with those pictures without your consent. You haven't done anything wrong but you do sound very trusting OP.

Well if you want to avoid it happening again you wait till you know them in real life for a bit before any sexting/shagging. What's happened here is that you allowed it to progress to that level before you knew him AT ALL so you left yourself open to manipulation

I'm really hoping he isn't doing anything with my pics tbh. I guess it's possible that he took photos with another phone. That would be horrible but they are fairly tame pics as these things go. I definitely will be way more careful with pics in future, after this experience.

@sopissedoff1 I did really fancy him though, so maybe I missed something because of that. I wasn't crushing on him, though, no romantic feelings. But you live and learn, I guess.

you didn’t know this man from Adam, you only knew he was a horn dog who liked to sex text with a stranger and sleep with her on the first date, that doesn’t make a for a great CV . Unfortunately That’s the problem with OLD, it’s hunting grounds for these types, plenty of married and partnered passing themselves as single. Just be more careful next time, get to know him and wait at least 8 dates before you have sex, that will weed out the horn dogs. If what you’re seeking is not a relationship but some adult fun this is the type of “issue” you’re going to deal with: the cheating horn dogs who swear to be single. OLD is packed with them.

‘Horn dogs’. Love it!😂

Because he wanted the business then wanted to vanish, seems odd that it's right after you did the dance with no pants

To get rid of you and ensure you won't contact him again. He's had had fun, it's over for him.

That make little sense to me because texting her while acting like the GF would most probably have her get back to him very angry bringing all sorts of drama into his life plus it would make him look like a fool who got busted, that's not what horn dogs do. The easy route for a guy who doesn't want to see a woman again is blocking or ghosting. Easy peasy, no drama.

But not everyone is as logical

@beatrix1234

8 bloody dates?! 😂😂😂

OP ignore the weirdos on your thread. They’re like the women who used to take their knitting to the gallows.

It very likely is his girlfriend messaging you and I highly doubt he’s done anything weird with your pics.

Onwards and upwards and enjoy your other partners ❤️

I have regular STI checks anyway

Please be careful though. Getting checked obvs isn't as good as using protection with randoms. Some STIs are not easily treated.

@Lookingoutside 8 bloody dates?! 😂😂😂

Yep, I have this thing for getting to know people a bit before sleeping with them, crazy stuff I know. Sometimes by the 5th date I might even realise I don't like them which is great because I don't see them again. My motto is "friends first and then lovers". If I can't be friends with a guy I'm not f-cking him, full stop. This doesn't necessarily stop the bad apples from falling through the cracks but it does weed out the horn dogs, the married and the tw-ats quite a lot.

This aspect is a lesson for the future!

IMO it is not at all savvy to think you are savvy enough to spot a liar. You have to accept if you don't know someone you don't know them, so they could be a decent person or a rascal.

Plenty of people string others along all the time.

This is a common con men run by spending a lot of time online creating a false sense of familiarity so they're pretty much guaranteed sex on the first date.

They can play the long game for weeks, months as texting and calls are no effort and likely have half a dozen women they're also chatting with at the same time.

Men lie a lot.

Haha thanks for this image 🤣🤣🤣

Yes ladies, I also wanted sex on the first date. I wasn't tricked into it, I wanted it. I was tricked into thinking he was single. That's the bit that bothers me.

Not interested in your judgment. I'm single, I use protection, and it's entirely up to me what I do with my body.

I highly doubt he was pretending to be his own girlfriend to get rid of me after I'd told him I wasn't going to text him for the ten days he's away on holiday and that he could message me when he got back if he wanted 🤣 But if he did then wow, he's a psycho and an absolute idiot to boot.