just got a text from his girlfriend

[sopissedoff1]

NC for this. Have been seeing a guy for a few weeks. We matched on an app and were chatting loads, including sexting, sending pics, and talking on the phone. We had a date last week and slept together. All great, as far as.i knew.

Today I get a message from his number, but it's his girlfriend - who I had no idea existed - saying she's obviously found his phone and he's cheated on her with not just me but other women too.

I thought I had a pretty good radar for this sort of thing and when I've seen red flags with other men I've dumped them straight away. But this guy - I totally believed he was single, and he seemed so convincing. There was nothing that made me think I should be worried. The only thing was his communication was a bit sporadic at times. That bothered me a bit but it wasn't enough to clue me in.

I feel sick about the situation and just horrified for his partner. Not sure what advice anyone can give me. Is there something more I should have been looking out for? I mean, obviously there was, but he was so convincing.

Aren’t a lot of the apps just dressed up hook-up sites?
The mistake you made was sexting him and sending pics before you knew who he was then sleeping with him when you did meet up. Whether he has a girlfriend or not, you have given off a hook-up vibe to him (you also told him you were dating other people) and that’s obviously what he was after.
The flags were everything moving too fast and you showing yourself to be an easy target to him. The girlfriend probably is real. You have attracted a certain type of man. If I were you I would reign things in a bit next time you match with someone otherwise this won’t be the last time you will be treated this way. Unless of course that’s what you want anyway seen as you are dating several people yourself.

You can use a second phone to take a picture of the other screen

Pretty sure you can't screenshot view once pics on WhatsApp.

Is WhatsApp advanced enough to take the second phone/tablet with a camera out of someone's hand....? No of course not.

Yessssss! This, please!! Then tell us what happens!!

Yes, he could have done that. Hope not.

It's quite the thing on apps, they get the sex and then send a message pretending to be the girlfriend to end the game.

Usually it stops the girl trying to contact his partner as they believe they have already communicated.

Just a sport, just a game.

Lol well it's possible I guess. Bit weird to keep messaging and engage me in a long conversation about what a lying scumbag he is. Bit bloody arrogant to think he would need to resort to such tactics too! I'd told him I wasn't going to be messaging while he was away but he could message me when he got back if he wanted. So realistically he could have just ghosted with zero drama!

Yes, he could have done that. Hope not.

If he hasn't someone else will have done/will do. Please be far more careful in the future. I'm old and don't use SM much and even I know this!

Maybe not, but View Once isn't foolproof. Another phone as pp said, or there are other ways if you're tech savvy enough.

Look after yourself OP, it's safer not to send these sort of images to people you don't really know.

@sopissedoff1 you did nothing wrong. It's all on him. His GF needs to relieve him of his appendage 🤣🤣🤣

For you, be thankful you werent more involved. Good riddance to bad shit :)

I’m with you OP, I really don’t get it.

Why would you pretend to be your own GF instead of just ghosting?

If he contacts you when he’s back then you’ll know it wasn’t him texting!

I’m really sorry this happened to you. Some people are just awful.

@sopissedoff1
In my opinion. anything that reeks of drama would be something to walk away from without looking back. The woman could be te!ling the absolute truth or she could be lying, but regardless the situation brings with it too much unnecessary drama.

Tell her thankyou, that you will book an sti check (as a nudge to her doing it) wish her luck and block her number.

It might be crap, it might be an ex or something stirring the pot. But the drama isn't worth it.

I think it is common sense not to start sexting or swapping pics with someone you have not even met.

At least wait until you have met them a couple of times to do anything. That helps try to screen out the cheats/creeps.

People online lie all the time and they know full well they can get away with it and disappear so don't make it easy for them to do that...

Man I'm glad I'm out of all that me like.

Thank you, I appreciate the support! And I hope for her sake his GF is an ex-GF and stays that way!

Thank you. It's scary how awful some people can be!

Regardless of this ‘girlfriend’ you put yourself in a vulnerable position by exchanging explicit things with a random.

Maybe raise the bar a bit for yourself?

I don’t think it’s possible to 100% tell even if you are savvy.

Clearly not. I think I'm fairly savvy (and have blocked/deleted many a man.) We had messaged a lot, talked on phone a lot, and there was no clue he was a psycho.

I did really fancy him though, so maybe I missed something because of that. I wasn't crushing on him, though, no romantic feelings. But you live and learn, I guess.

Sorry OP, I am clearly very old, but what is the difference between fancying someone and crushing on them? 🤔

I don't understand the STI thing. Did you have unprotected sex on your first date?

Why does him having a gf make him a higher risk than him presumably seeing other people up until meeting you three weeks ago?

Well at least you found out quickly, I've been whatsapping a woman today who's partner of 9 years was in numerous long distance nonsense with me, another woman I found on Facebook and fuck knows how many others. He made a point of meeting us very early on for a coffee and a kiss then just stringing us along. As ridiculous as it sounds he was messaging me every day for 3years. He ghosted me when I finally said I was done. But what's even more ridiculous is his actual girl friend has never lived with him, suspects he's still married, has never met his parents and despite women keep coming out the woodwork still puts up with it.. 9 years!

I think this is unnecessary, it isn’t OPs fault that he cheated. She is free and single to do what she likes and is in no way responsible for this man’s behaviour.