I have just sat for the last hour and listened to the reasons why somebody doesn't want me

[fairyfly]

One could almost get bitter.

Wine please.

O he has told me nobody like me and i am bitter and stressed and hysterical and embarassing and and and

Then he would say....

It's me darling, i love you, you are the most wonderful woman in the world, so kind and beautiful, i panic. Please forgive me, i don't deserve you and will show you how much i love you. Then proceed to do so for six months.

Until the bastard reared its head again.

He has been messing with your head, girl, and quite deliberately.

Think of him as Hannibal Lecter only with metaphorical cannibalism rather than the real thing.

Have as much wine as you need.

Why would somebody deliberately mess with your head?

I don't get it.

There just are people like that in the world, unfortunately. I can only assume that they get something out of it even if I can't understand what.

What's your plan FF?

You gotta have a plan.

Coz he'll try this again. And again. And again.

If there is any truth in the negative stuff he's said about you - it's because he turned you into it. If you are bitter - it's because he made you so. This is his doing, because he doesnt know when he's well off, and he knows that all you want is to be loved.

I say if you are like that stick to one noght stands and don't get involved. But what do i kknow.

Message withdrawn

FF, In a few months time you will wonder why you ever bothered with him. I know, I have been there.

If you even pretend to believe any of his utter bullshit talk I'll personally come and slap you with a wet kipper. Be sad for a bit. Be mental. Empty your soul into mn, us and a bit of vino.
It's a very manipulative personality that Jekyll and Hydes in that particularly cruel way. Build you up just to tear you down. You need to remain built in your head and heart. Cement your emotions in a concrete tower against this guy. And let him find out the hard way that you don't win love behaving that way. I bet he'll try again FF and you will feel do good when to tell him tofuckoffanddieyouworthlesssackoffesteringshit go away and leave you be.

FF, of course you are feeling really low at the moment - who wouldn't in your shoes?

But this man is not worth getting miserable over and you will realise that in time. But right now it must be hard for you to think positively. Just give it time.....

My long term plan is to finish my degree.

My short term plan is to get pissed.

No, he cant get in my head again, i wont chase him and he has gone, so that's ok.

god i feel lonely, in my head

Sorry you are feeling bad FF. There are so many of us that have been there, done that.

I don't understand what this type of men gets out of messing women around. It must just be a power trip, to blow hot and cold like that. They only want you when you don't want them, then they win you back, then they treat you badly and the whole cycle starts again.

These weird guys that seem so desperate to be with you and then, when they've got you, don't want you. You are the love of their life. They've never felt this way before, etc...... All the over the top compliments, and premature commitments, and then, later on: 'well, you're not that good looking really are you?'.... and then they gradually start to undermine your confidence and they ignore you and mess you around, treat you badly, you finish it, they win you back.

The more times you take them back, the more desperate you are to make it work so that all the heartache was not for nothing. And then it ends up with random insults: 'You're a slut / you're frigid / I never loved you / blah, blah....' By which time, you feel like you don't know who you are any more.

I'd like to think I wouldn't fall for it again, but....? I'd like to think that I would get out at the first red flag but, early on, it is so easy to convince yourself that they deserve the benefit of the doubt, and, later on, you're too attached, you've invested too much to walk away.

Look after yourself.

Pur yourself another drink. Now imagine him sat on the loo with noisy explosive diarrhoea, picking his nose and eating it. That should put paid to any romantic longings.

Not twice

Oh sweetie. Been there. Life goes on. It will, it really will, get better.

Well i got pissed out of my brain ( classy) and ended up in bed with a gay man. I remember saying ohhhhh, this is so lovely we can go shopping together. The he said i think i am bi and trid to shag me.

The wonderful life of a single woman, the adventure starts here.

I soooooooo want my boyfriend back.

Er, no you don't want him back, no matter what. Doing out-of-character things on the rebound is normal.

I feel frikkin awful, i do want him back, i think i may have a panic attack.

How th hell can i watch my son have open heart surgery without him?

I am going to drink more beer.

Oh, FF, isn't there anyone else who can go to the hospital with you?

My sister was facing her daughter's operation alone but in the end my other sister was able to be there with her.

Yes, i have much love and support.

I want him though.

I have a holiday booked too, what the hell am going to do about that.

I have woke up with such destructive anger.

FF, anger I can understand and it can be a useful emotion.

Why do you want him at the hospital? You said he let you down before - even if you wanted him there you know you can't rely on him being there.

I don't know what you can do about the holiday - sorry - I don't suppose the insurance will cover something like this.